Miss Fawn discussion - traits of a domme
[13:00] Fawn Starflare: What I'd like to do is have each of you think about dommes and what a Domme is to you. Then pick the three most important attributes, skills, attitudes, presentations, etc. Before we start to respond to each other I would like you all to to tell us your three things. After that we can discuss similarities and differences in the lists. I wonder if Dommes, subs, and switches all define a Domme the same way.
[13:00] Caprice (becky.koolhoven) nods at Miss Fawn
[13:01] Fawn Starflare: It's not about how you met or how long a trial period.
[13:01] Fawn Starflare: It's about both domme and sub being willing to truly know the other and to commit to finding a middle road.
[13:02] Fawn Starflare: Even in TPE, there is give and take.
[13:02] Fawn Starflare: So lets try this go around the room and each woman say what Domme means to her.
[13:03] Carla (cyberspy): Trust to guide my submissive
[13:03] Caprice (becky.koolhoven) for me a Domme is caring, respectful and wants growth in the relation... It makes me wanna give all I have
[13:03] Fawn Starflare: Trusting yourself?
[13:03] Carla (cyberspy): No, her trust in me
[13:04] Adonna Star (adonnaberti): to me
[13:04] Adonna Star (adonnaberti): I have had a few Dommes here
[13:04] Adonna Star (adonnaberti): all different
[13:04] Adonna Star (adonnaberti): 2 have touched me deeply inside
[13:04] Adonna Star (adonnaberti): MIss Carla isfist my friend
[13:04] Fawn Starflare: Yes, carla. But when you say you are a Domme, what are You saying. How do you define for you?
[13:05] Carla (cyberspy): Being confident in all that I do.
[13:05] Fawn Starflare: There we go.
[13:06] Fawn Starflare: I had this from one of my girls in her morning Email .... Good morning Goddess.
Important characteristics of a Domme are good knowledge about how BDSM inflicts on the mind and body, as well as a healthy safety thinking. A Domme should also have good self esteem and be secure in the role.
Your sex toy's 2 cents of thoughts :)
[13:06] Belldandy Watanabe: As for my definition, a dominant should be patient and understanding, provide firm control through rules and protocol, and lastly help the submissive be the best she can be.
[13:06] Carla (cyberspy): I have great self esteem :)
[13:07] Fawn Starflare: Our subs. girls what do you look for in a Domme?
[13:08] Elisandra Foxdale: Honesty, a feeling that they see value in a slave, and intelligence
[13:08] Feralangel Tolsen: I just wrote a really good response to this but it is longer than 3 items.
[13:08] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): wow
[13:09] Feralangel Tolsen: I don't want to take up the entire discussion so maybe I could let everyone else answer then if people want I can post it.
[13:09] Fawn Starflare: When we tell a slave she is worthless, this is a role play catering to a shared need. It is only a roleplay because each needs the other and finds value in her.
[13:09] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): this morning Miss San was helping me with chrisa, she said this, "the difficulty that most subs have (in domination) is ignoring the guilty feeling you are enjoying yourself too much, just enjoy it - give yourself permission to (but also knowing that, deep down, she does too, of course)"
[13:09] Fawn Starflare: Amen!
[13:09] Fawn Starflare: Yes.
[13:10] Feralangel Tolsen: Ok. I can sort out the most important 3 in the meantime.
[13:10] Fawn Starflare: I had to go through that, too. Toy helped me past it. Challenging me to be sadistic and enjoy it -- because she gets off on me enjoying using her.
[13:11] Moni Grant (monique.basevi): smiles
[13:12] Fawn Starflare: Note the emphasis. Her turn on is my enjoying what I do. It's not dependent on what I'm doing (so long as she is in latex!)
[13:12] Belldandy Watanabe: I have the same complaint (whine) from katrina and jasmine...I am not kinky enough. So we have designated nights where I cut loose on them.
[13:12] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov) grins
[13:13] Feralangel Tolsen: Someone who is creative. That is HUGE. Someone who speaks the language of affection and does not see it as a reward, but as a very important glue. Someone who does not feel the need to posture or demand.
[13:13] June Aljon: i think what marks a truly great Domme is one who appreciates the beauty of the gift of submission
[13:13] Fawn Starflare: Wonderful Feral. I have that very same notion.
[13:13] Adonna Star (adonnaberti): Yes june
[13:13] Adonna Star (adonnaberti): I agree with that
[13:14] Carla (cyberspy): nods
[13:14] Feralangel Tolsen: Posturing and demanding gets snickers and giggles from me then I have fun poking you like a gigantic button.
[13:14] Adonna Star (adonnaberti): when my Mistress does / says something where I feel cherished my response is to please her totally
[13:14] Adonna Star (adonnaberti): and submit completely in full trust
[13:14] Fawn Starflare: See all the varying priorities in what's important. And none of it has to do with the skill sets in administering a spanking or humiliation.
[13:15] Adonna Star (adonnaberti): and like toy
[13:15] Adonna Star (adonnaberti): my pleasure is greatly heightened knowing Miss is pleasured
[13:15] Fawn Starflare: Your submission is an act of love. In response to someone who inspires that love and submission.
[13:15] Fawn Starflare: That was always what I looked for as a sub.
[13:16] Feralangel Tolsen: It really is. I think that is why I get really testy with people who are demanding about it.
[13:15] Adonna Star (adonnaberti): definitely
[13:16] Adonna Star (adonnaberti): and Mistress is first a friend
[13:16] Adonna Star (adonnaberti): confidant
[13:16] Adonna Star (adonnaberti): mentor
[13:16] Adonna Star (adonnaberti): lover
[13:16] Adonna Star (adonnaberti): multi faceted