It is recognised that any relationship has rights and responsibilities on both sides; that where there is honesty, effort, care and attention rights are probably redundant; and that dominants have a set of similar rights. However, due to the greater number and vulnerability of submissives a list of minimal rights for submissives is particularly relevant -- a dominant is in a position to enforce respect etc. or to let a submissive go and thus do not need a set of rights to quite the same extent. This is not a list of the principles that are desirable in general, due to the huge variation of kinds of D/s relationship, but intended as a minimal set of rights for all submissives in SL.
We declare the following to be the absolute rights of all submissives in SL.
1. To have their Sanity, Safety and Consent (SSC) respected at all times. That any dominant ensure, as far as reasonable, that all who interact with their submissives respect these principles. (see notecard on basic safety)
2. To have their hard limits and use of safewords respected without exception or excuse. Further, that they not be put under pressure to weaken their own declared limits or withdraw use of safewords that they feel appropriate.
3. To be told when their dominant decides to quit SL (or swap to another avatar), so they don't hang around for weeks worrying and wondering if their dominant is coming back. A short IM or e-mail takes little time and saves a lot of heartache. Similarly faking death is unacceptable.
4. In return for the gift of submission to be given sufficient attention by their dominants. The emotions that accompany genuine submission usually makes the submissive dependent on some attention for their emotional well-being. If a dominant has more submissives than they can properly care for, they should not take on more. There is no way around this need (leaving them at a club, doing meaningless tasks, isolating them, putting them on display etc. are no substitute) -- if you take on a submissive you then you have to give them enough personal attention or let them go.
5. To be informed to a reasonable extent when they can expect their dominant to be online, so they don't needlessly mope around waiting.
6. If they have NOT submitted to anyone, to be able to dress and act as they wish, free from any interaction they do not wish for, subject only to any rules they consent to (e.g. rules of a club they go to). In particular for it not to be assumed that they will obey anyone or behave in any way if they have not consented to do so, regardless of their usual orientation or their manner of dress.
7. Not to have to reveal any RL information they do not wish to reveal, especially those pertinent to their RL ID (NI/SSN numbers, name, address, credit card numbers etc.).
8. To be able to withdraw from any relationship for their own reasons, without inappropriate public sanction or insult.
9. If not in any agreed relationship, to be free to take any desired role, for example dominant, to switch or, withdrawal from D/s altogether.
10. To be free to bring any contravention of these rights to the attention of others.
Issued by San Mauvaise with the support and input of many others at the Cellar and elsewhere in SL.