Go here to find a munch - limited to US
Munches are safe environments to meet people of like minds, usually in a restaurant in plain clothing.
My suggestion would be to meet people at a munch and if interested, find out about play parties from those you've grown to trust and ask them to invite you. Usually regulars of a play party can invite trusted friends without much of a problem. Please be prepared to have a doctor's diagnosis for the minimum being a good health record of the various STDs.
A list of good books to read if you're going in as a top... Don't expect, as a top that people don't know, to start kissing your feet because you claim you're a top. To be a top acceptable in a community, you have to know what you're doing.
BDSM SYMBOLS: For those people that believe that BDSM is ONLY about sex, it is not. It has become a well established organized community with it's own culture and symbolism and meaning.
The start of BDSM as a society, culture and community:
One specific way a formalized relationship grows otherwise known as the Three Collars.
Examples of BDSM and D/s lifestyle contracts:
GLOBS OF INFORMATION:
The internet has globs of information that is true to life... Don't get hyped by what you see on SL... Most of it is garbage and what isn't is usually jewels in the rocks... hard to get out and even harder to clean. Thanks to the few I've met here that showed me that this is not so for everyone on SL.