tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25792666171863631292024-02-18T23:55:34.165-08:00Club The CellarThe official website for Club The Cellar, a female-only D/s club in Second Life™.cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.comBlogger160125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-36909868886114403982020-05-23T19:15:00.002-07:002020-05-23T19:15:55.043-07:00Leaving Newfort (Covid-19 home) to New Cellar location Harlech<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcGiJrNy3xEG1svD2eW9dbpLshptu961WQR-QcJIP-Pr5zVjzfpJ7m5f9EFpn3sBu6UpCdPf4IT_sXOxTS2TjGLq8Sb6ZW7PWrErRU8N_jmiB-Xposq4JyqiOM3q54tfb2oRzQxS4nheCU/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="512" data-original-width="512" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcGiJrNy3xEG1svD2eW9dbpLshptu961WQR-QcJIP-Pr5zVjzfpJ7m5f9EFpn3sBu6UpCdPf4IT_sXOxTS2TjGLq8Sb6ZW7PWrErRU8N_jmiB-Xposq4JyqiOM3q54tfb2oRzQxS4nheCU/s320/2020+Cellar_+The+Cellar%252C+Newfort+%252825%252C+189%252C+1402%2529+-+Adult.png" width="531" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkEeU5YiBXgoMNYB0nsY8CzDbDlJZC5FZY_-e3CR6rxG314CtnzW8R6hi0J3mdq7RBcASpuXtceemClZkcUzbI_-m3JOopuVNcXICUtZ8MyJ7j9HZRmKd5YwPDHuvA9B3NeybINHon31Zb/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkEeU5YiBXgoMNYB0nsY8CzDbDlJZC5FZY_-e3CR6rxG314CtnzW8R6hi0J3mdq7RBcASpuXtceemClZkcUzbI_-m3JOopuVNcXICUtZ8MyJ7j9HZRmKd5YwPDHuvA9B3NeybINHon31Zb/s320/Dita_Couch_600x600+Cellar+invite.jpg" /> <font size="2">At Miss Lisa's </font><br /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaZpXF4qywZytAquvbZmsYbetJH8wWgEG4Sdo5xZH-tvqLQcR7hyRIdp8uIVjqZcmXETmxeNDnRX9luQujkD0MlfOo_Xr9cJQnzsWd1tVzJygYE52q7tcLoVpbc17plXd8-k06_aIV87NS/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1017" data-original-width="1920" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaZpXF4qywZytAquvbZmsYbetJH8wWgEG4Sdo5xZH-tvqLQcR7hyRIdp8uIVjqZcmXETmxeNDnRX9luQujkD0MlfOo_Xr9cJQnzsWd1tVzJygYE52q7tcLoVpbc17plXd8-k06_aIV87NS/s320/strip+tease+night+5-2020_006.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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<br />cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-54113378270069213232020-04-07T16:08:00.000-07:002020-04-07T16:08:30.864-07:00New Cellar Building<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The Cellar Community moved to it's new building the end of March during the pandemic of COVID-19. Miss Aballa now leads the Cellar with a team of people. Many new folks are visiting while vintage folks continue to find the Cellar the space they knew and loved.cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-4235063480893102512020-03-24T09:48:00.001-07:002020-03-24T09:48:16.571-07:00The End of the World Party Covid-19 March 2020<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We were feeling very fine with the fun folks who danced and flounced in their emergency responder outfitscellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-73713018065917020742017-03-21T11:52:00.001-07:002017-03-21T11:52:25.998-07:00St Paddy's Day 2017 Dance<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8eCBJosbyrYSKpb8lzq2OWkVwJ2J3GMkuLcOLRPiFojbZw13QxYBviw1esUGI1UqR3-uI4mrIXZDxe__1kLL271ydPfpw14g3QNl7a6cSuL-cZ1xa3Ks2RfCtED0vvonSJSaYty15u6Rz/s1600/st+paddy+2017_023.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="129" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8eCBJosbyrYSKpb8lzq2OWkVwJ2J3GMkuLcOLRPiFojbZw13QxYBviw1esUGI1UqR3-uI4mrIXZDxe__1kLL271ydPfpw14g3QNl7a6cSuL-cZ1xa3Ks2RfCtED0vvonSJSaYty15u6Rz/s320/st+paddy+2017_023.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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Bunch of fun with tunes about luck and ladies :)</div>
cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-82582446612166867382016-10-29T17:34:00.001-07:002016-10-29T19:18:59.903-07:00Naked Loop<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEv3JC_q4lU220ZcVnfZL4px46LvnrD7VXloFkOrsCushQW0QyzvkqVyF3sLtu9_Pa7rpeoc3-b77o9HJM21qL7MVFB5CPodVv3G_93Ke1K4IWK_8m2w5sX_a5MwYpDKdTl8GtE-iA4XsS/s1600/byndeme.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEv3JC_q4lU220ZcVnfZL4px46LvnrD7VXloFkOrsCushQW0QyzvkqVyF3sLtu9_Pa7rpeoc3-b77o9HJM21qL7MVFB5CPodVv3G_93Ke1K4IWK_8m2w5sX_a5MwYpDKdTl8GtE-iA4XsS/s320/byndeme.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Miss Byndeme in a bind - 2016</td></tr>
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<br /><br />cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-26374369432179589622016-10-18T04:48:00.002-07:002016-10-18T04:48:08.801-07:00Our DJ<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuKwAVGr_34Quhn-o5nUJM6P1ixVxXjTb39lD5tEQy46mS6_5Gv9igic3noOf9U5gw02N7TUyaTGDStiaRMbcQSOtfkit_fjrhSbIsEDKqpG-ZuNevpEWZmSdoY2CqKFg_Oh4EY6qUgYbD/s1600/ekaterina_001+%25282%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuKwAVGr_34Quhn-o5nUJM6P1ixVxXjTb39lD5tEQy46mS6_5Gv9igic3noOf9U5gw02N7TUyaTGDStiaRMbcQSOtfkit_fjrhSbIsEDKqpG-ZuNevpEWZmSdoY2CqKFg_Oh4EY6qUgYbD/s320/ekaterina_001+%25282%2529.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ekaterina is our awesome DJ!</td></tr>
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Ekaterina graciously shares her time with us month after month. You may not know that she is asked to perform as a DJ for the SL Anniversary event each year... she's that good :) She is also Miss Fawn's subbie.<br /><br />cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-85605921928502041362016-05-17T13:35:00.000-07:002016-05-17T13:35:26.423-07:00Fun at the Cellar <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHAuTLv6FlotrHPaWNjz6GG2QY3ZTc1I3cT9YhGQXu_yExGt3MS9L95ZD3F8FzaE5dmw8qCGJsbUn4zaomae_8SMcP6xQR9HkNjebB3IcAujBt0A159oWFWh_BMv7RXKUwMFLvzVI1OU6d/s1600/rhonda+pinup+girl_006.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="201" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHAuTLv6FlotrHPaWNjz6GG2QY3ZTc1I3cT9YhGQXu_yExGt3MS9L95ZD3F8FzaE5dmw8qCGJsbUn4zaomae_8SMcP6xQR9HkNjebB3IcAujBt0A159oWFWh_BMv7RXKUwMFLvzVI1OU6d/s320/rhonda+pinup+girl_006.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Brewing Rhonda Bourbon May 2016</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidx1pYs7e9ffkb0JhI7aiwchE9j7XrfDuUYntLqEX0t-c6H-UI-EWJAfq8y9bpcfAl_iSdkfmHjRHmBgIa6e8Yh68WFY4pxuXEEZEfMwb3P0bE_dMqfq6xovHup_Ar_SJaQCT5U84BpRDM/s1600/rhonda+pinup+girl_005.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="284" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidx1pYs7e9ffkb0JhI7aiwchE9j7XrfDuUYntLqEX0t-c6H-UI-EWJAfq8y9bpcfAl_iSdkfmHjRHmBgIa6e8Yh68WFY4pxuXEEZEfMwb3P0bE_dMqfq6xovHup_Ar_SJaQCT5U84BpRDM/s320/rhonda+pinup+girl_005.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Part II</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ms Mewls joins the Staff</td></tr>
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<br />cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-88074416665849365932016-05-17T13:12:00.000-07:002016-05-17T13:12:09.441-07:00Dances 2015-2016<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRzuxYvf-LIJ3A3teczXhLCilFXl8j9KjIza5l0vwndIprwwgiDP8uXs_djTk5xy_Zn2OtC5HofhbVnxlL8yF7McBamhq0CWwA2hy_q0kZDJPXlUa8shhrImKzHFWxV7K6UhNB_-7j4QsY/s1600/keep+Spring2016_011.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRzuxYvf-LIJ3A3teczXhLCilFXl8j9KjIza5l0vwndIprwwgiDP8uXs_djTk5xy_Zn2OtC5HofhbVnxlL8yF7McBamhq0CWwA2hy_q0kZDJPXlUa8shhrImKzHFWxV7K6UhNB_-7j4QsY/s320/keep+Spring2016_011.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Spring Fling May 2016</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beach Party 2015 - those bikinis fall off easily</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihLQs6ZdUZqSi6uVHzyOHTRoNqHnaDvBWnwnlmcw82SFV4CzQerzTZwosspKSXNi9Z_eXYk4K3BwP-VXNmH9HtV_gMD8nPHottQgEZG6sgOyZwGLv-mlUNcYL57FEW7GBcLYaJ2GDH8r9K/s1600/80s+dance_004.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="153" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihLQs6ZdUZqSi6uVHzyOHTRoNqHnaDvBWnwnlmcw82SFV4CzQerzTZwosspKSXNi9Z_eXYk4K3BwP-VXNmH9HtV_gMD8nPHottQgEZG6sgOyZwGLv-mlUNcYL57FEW7GBcLYaJ2GDH8r9K/s320/80s+dance_004.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Valentines 80s Style - Feb 2015</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fantasy dance - May 2015</td></tr>
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<br />cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-91012485615450641752016-01-15T16:58:00.001-08:002016-05-17T13:21:26.774-07:00Pictures from recent events... Winter 2015, Spring 2016<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiem8BDHXtCUcxnLsaiGzuKE6Tsqt9neUydkt-vbhTdF9HxftzaprgIx98dWZgNMFiv2pSdQ-1RhsasHP_7brkChmQGfr_BeEAumXpW8_2yg2J4l70LVsq0j4pnfPNMS3VqD2Q8WABcH9Xo/s1600/Spring2016_014.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiem8BDHXtCUcxnLsaiGzuKE6Tsqt9neUydkt-vbhTdF9HxftzaprgIx98dWZgNMFiv2pSdQ-1RhsasHP_7brkChmQGfr_BeEAumXpW8_2yg2J4l70LVsq0j4pnfPNMS3VqD2Q8WABcH9Xo/s320/Spring2016_014.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7n8HNmIZoYQdfqO3oK-UhqrnysQFggAkpoG9McnhyaLu_SKmRI4A2HTaJs8IhkJYJLSI2I9UQQGBuv3ePNcBvzYW6gu7Ue2ejYJ6VQaWJq2wzFaapqxPhMv0hI0TyHorAbP7P7IQXfZwk/s1600/Spring2016_010.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7n8HNmIZoYQdfqO3oK-UhqrnysQFggAkpoG9McnhyaLu_SKmRI4A2HTaJs8IhkJYJLSI2I9UQQGBuv3ePNcBvzYW6gu7Ue2ejYJ6VQaWJq2wzFaapqxPhMv0hI0TyHorAbP7P7IQXfZwk/s320/Spring2016_010.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a name='more'></a><br /><!--more--><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5kXPhcN1RuthfvgGk2RioMZsyVahQrWKo4CDn8h1okMTBb554M_VeygCAUBd2CIgn8ro1a_8gVL02CwXLbUbfHJOjNVO6N20dK974tJuqJngz0KJnoDcxosyLYc3etYguwj1EsoCk3MFZ/s1600/christmas+party+2015_007.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5kXPhcN1RuthfvgGk2RioMZsyVahQrWKo4CDn8h1okMTBb554M_VeygCAUBd2CIgn8ro1a_8gVL02CwXLbUbfHJOjNVO6N20dK974tJuqJngz0KJnoDcxosyLYc3etYguwj1EsoCk3MFZ/s320/christmas+party+2015_007.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Holiday Dance 2015</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Miss Kiki & Amy Reception Oct 2015</td></tr>
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<br />cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-8236869566251393392015-10-22T18:37:00.005-07:002015-10-22T18:38:18.273-07:00Family ala becky Highness 7 Oct 2015<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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[11:58] Jenna (noamuthquortek): Safe to assume it's open to the public?<br />
[11:59] sadiziah: twirls my hair round my finger<br />
[11:59] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): oh yes<br />
[11:59] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): if you think they can handle it<br />
[12:00] Jenna (noamuthquortek): I know how to safeword if it's too much for me.l<br />
[12:02] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): welcome everyone to the 124th discussion entitled, Becky<br />
[12:02] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): nice to have you here in so big numbers<br />
[12:04] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): first topic is panties and how some love to fill them.... nah! seriously....<br />
[12:04] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): the topic today will be, family, but more how to make it grow<br />
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[12:04] San Mauvaise: hahahaha<br />
[12:04] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov) grins<br />
[12:04] San Mauvaise: groan?<br />
[12:04] San Mauvaise: um is this sex 101?<br />
[12:04] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): welsh accent, sorry everyone<br />
[12:05] San Mauvaise winks at becky<br />
[12:05] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): birds and bees?<br />
[12:05] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): some traps exists when trying to have a D/s family grow<br />
[12:05] San Mauvaise: but a good topic!<br />
[12:05] San Mauvaise listens<br />
[12:06] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): since its in the nature of the submissive to please her domme, its often very hard for her to express that the expansion is making her unhappy<br />
[12:06] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): at times, she may feel excluded, she may feel she doesn't belong<br />
[12:06] San Mauvaise: yes<br />
[12:06] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): she may even have problems redefining her role in the new dynamic<br />
[12:06] Jenna (noamuthquortek) nods<br />
[12:07] San Mauvaise: yes indeed comsultation and communication must be key in this<br />
[12:07] San Mauvaise: but even when it works it is tricky<br />
[12:07] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): Its why, the first thing to do when wanting your family to grow, is build a solid base, as San said, communication, establish a channel that your sub can use and listen instead of judging<br />
[12:08] Agito (agitobell): i only have one sis with mistress<br />
[12:08] San Mauvaise: nods<br />
[12:08] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): how is it going with your sister agito?<br />
[12:08] San Mauvaise wonders if she should gag her girl to encourage a channel of communication<br />
[12:08] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): o0<br />
[12:08] Agito (agitobell): we go by who is whith her longer so i am sub to both of them<br />
[12:09] San Mauvaise listens<br />
[12:09] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): nice, so, I can assume, you are building a relation with both of them?<br />
[12:09] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): and San, you surely meant a funnel of communications ;p<br />
[12:09] Agito (agitobell): yes mistress comes first always but when she is not here i answer to sis<br />
[12:10] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): as it should be :)<br />
[12:10] San Mauvaise: does that work well agito?<br />
[12:10] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): good, this is a big part in the success of a growing family<br />
[12:10] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): welcome Teann!<br />
[12:10] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): welcome Teann :)<br />
[12:10] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter) nods to all and smiles<br />
[12:11] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i think how your family came to be is a nice story Highness<br />
[12:11] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): A family, in the D/s sense, and prolly in all senses, should be seen as a team, its weakest link being the measure of their strength<br />
[12:11] San Mauvaise: nods<br />
[12:11] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): the biggest family I have seen was 9 subs<br />
[12:11] Agito (agitobell): i am also the much kinkery of us, sis likes softer play, i like painful, so i get that side, sis gets the other, so we arent fighting over it<br />
[12:12] San Mauvaise: nods<br />
[12:12] San Mauvaise: 9! how exhausting!<br />
[12:12] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter) nods<br />
[12:12] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): it all crumbled eventually, just as agito said, because they all fought for attention, even one of the girls once told me she was exhausted because she just wanted to be the last in line to relax and the others saw in it a plot to get more attention<br />
[12:13] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): I think any group so large is going to be difficult to keep together, kinky or not.<br />
[12:13] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): families are a unit, and the thing that makes any relation strong is the will for everyone in it to give to the others<br />
[12:13] San Mauvaise: yes i AGREE<br />
[12:13] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): But there will always be tensions in any family group, that only get smoothed out with application of sufficient time and attention. And room to breathe I guess.<br />
[12:13] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): indeed Teann<br />
[12:14] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): room to breath Teann, and also, care in between every member<br />
[12:14] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): I once had a sister, Joie *smiles at Mewstress San*<br />
[12:14] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): we formed such a tight unit<br />
[12:15] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): we spent our time together, found ways to please our domme so that she wouldn't have to worry<br />
[12:15] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): that closeness had many advantages<br />
[12:15] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): one being that we loved each other so much, we where able to go to the domme and tell her that our sister needed a bit more time<br />
[12:16] San Mauvaise listens<br />
[12:16] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): we would step aside and be happy in the joy we gave the other<br />
[12:16] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): You might have missed that part, but I was talking about Joie<br />
[12:16] San Mauvaise: ah joie!<br />
[12:16] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): hehe joie brings joy<br />
[12:16] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): grins<br />
[12:17] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): a third girl was brought in the mix<br />
[12:17] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): she was very sexual and our domme needed it<br />
[12:17] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): but she never cared that that girl got any sort of relation with us<br />
[12:17] San Mauvaise raises an eyebrow<br />
[12:17] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): it broke up everything<br />
[12:18] San Mauvaise: nods<br />
[12:18] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): Joie left SL, Vixen, the domme, did also, after trying to repari and bring back Joie for months<br />
[12:18] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): Mmm, it always seems like these things are stable only when in balance. It doesn't take much to upset things, although the stronger it is to begin with the more imbalance it can withstand.<br />
[12:19] sadiziah: at least kitten likes me<br />
[12:19] San Mauvaise: it does really depend on how much the Domme wants a genuine relationship with the subs and how much they are simply needy/greedy<br />
[12:19] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov) nods<br />
[12:19] Jenna (noamuthquortek): A story I've heard multiple times in various different dynamics.<br />
[12:20] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): I agree Teann, and also, what San said *winks* dommes are humans, some more than others... and we all love the new car smell<br />
[12:20] San Mauvaise thinks about seat belts, petrol caps and new subs<br />
[12:20] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): what makes the difference, is how the domme is realy strong and will give back her girl/s for the gift they bring her<br />
[12:20] Agito (agitobell): new pussy is more like it<br />
[12:20] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): giggles<br />
[12:21] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): meep<br />
[12:21] sadiziah: i think about flat tyre on M1<br />
[12:21] Lex Berchot: well everyone knows a good domme has to be testridden<br />
[12:21] Lex Berchot: sadizah .. ouch.<br />
[12:21] San Mauvaise: what like VWs?<br />
[12:21] Lex Berchot: sodding m1<br />
[12:21] Lex Berchot: yes much like VWs .. they need to be tweaked a bit Miss San .. to give better output ;)<br />
[12:21] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): I always simply look at it that way, both are important in any relation... what would be a domme without subs? a seller without buyers?<br />
[12:21] Agito (agitobell): and ridden and ridden till sub can't walk<br />
[12:22] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter) laughs<br />
[12:22] sadiziah: i like a miss like a VW<br />
[12:22] San Mauvaise: sighs, yes the second hand sub market is not what it used to be!<br />
[12:22] sadiziah: very wicked obviously<br />
[12:22] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): pppffffttttt<br />
[12:22] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): some have still a very goodl leather condition!<br />
[12:23] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): any questions on mechanics?<br />
[12:23] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): giggles<br />
[12:23] Lex Berchot: no, I think I am threading on thin ice already ;)<br />
[12:23] sadiziah: yes is inserting foam better than wearing a spare tyre<br />
[12:23] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): o0<br />
[12:23] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): if you are on a boat, yes Sadie ;0<br />
[12:24] San Mauvaise: but back to families....<br />
[12:24] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): indeed :)<br />
[12:24] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): where was I?<br />
[12:24] San Mauvaise: ....of cars?<br />
[12:24] San Mauvaise shuts it for a bit<br />
[12:24] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): family cars?<br />
[12:24] sadiziah: michelin man is stuck in my head now<br />
[12:25] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): San's right though - a lot of it comes down to the domme. They set the tone in a family unit; they can wrangle their subs into line, or they can let them fracture apart.<br />
[12:25] San Mauvaise: I think it helps if the subs have different roles/styles in a family<br />
[12:25] San Mauvaise: not competing for the same treatment<br />
[12:25] Agito (agitobell): like mine<br />
[12:26] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): indeed, different roles, well defined areas, also, some basic rules of behavior, and they all fall to the domme to make sure they are in application<br />
[12:27] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): often in SL, we forget simple things, the IM is a nuisance for communications<br />
[12:27] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): someone can spend the evening at 5 meters and you will hear nothing<br />
[12:27] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): I had a domme who used an old chinese trick<br />
[12:27] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): common denounciation<br />
[12:27] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): o0<br />
[12:27] San Mauvaise looks worried<br />
[12:27] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): when in family time, no IM at all<br />
[12:28] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): we where to talk in public<br />
[12:28] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): good idea<br />
[12:28] Jenna (noamuthquortek): I like that<br />
[12:28] Lex Berchot: I know some sims who actually employ that rule as well.<br />
[12:28] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): if your domme will let anyone enter your home, not talk at all in public and spend hours, its time to raise the question<br />
[12:29] San Mauvaise: er... exactly *which* question, becky?<br />
[12:29] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): I think its a good rule Lexi, and I hope someday we can have areas where IMs are forbidden<br />
[12:30] San Mauvaise: a tiny bit difficult to enforce, of course<br />
[12:30] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i think we encourage local here<br />
[12:30] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): well, have a talk with your domme about basic respect from people visiting<br />
[12:30] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): It's not about enforcement, really, so much as setting the tone. Establishing that the default should be open communication.<br />
[12:30] San Mauvaise: nods<br />
[12:30] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): forgive me, i have to go<br />
[12:31] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): my question would be a bit harsh, but I'd ask if she'd think its acceptable for any of my friends to come home and ignore her?<br />
[12:32] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): I firmly believe that respect and care, honesty, they all lead to trust and blind obedience<br />
[12:33] San Mauvaise: yes love and trust form the strongest restraints!<br />
[12:33] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): I see a situation where your domme estimates that the fact the others respect you or not is of no importance as a sign we might be crossing into abuse<br />
[12:33] Fawn Starflare is offline.<br />
[12:34] Jenna (noamuthquortek) nods<br />
[12:34] San Mauvaise: (assuming there is not some planned complex RP, but alsmost always correct<br />
[12:34] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): as much as a sub should do all she can to refelct positively on her domme, the domme should also make sure her sub is in a situation where she can grow sanely<br />
[12:35] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): ((indeed, RP being not included in this))<br />
[12:35] San Mauvaise: nods<br />
[12:35] San Mauvaise gets up quietly not to disturb, waves at everybody and creeps out<br />
[12:36] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): well, I think its the end of my improvised lecture :)<br />
[12:36] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): any questions?<br />
[12:37] Jenna (noamuthquortek): No questions, just a comment.<br />
[12:37] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): yay!<br />
[12:37] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): comments, scotch, beer!<br />
[12:37] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): Again one of those tone-setting things; establishing respect amongst the group is something the domme can and should do.<br />
[12:38] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): It's not up to the subs to take the lead, but they do have to choose to follow that lead and show respect for each other as much as for their domme.<br />
[12:38] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): I'd say should enforce, because, I feel that its a group thing, and subs can help the domme a lot in voicing their concerns and how they see life together<br />
[12:38] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): indeed Teann<br />
[12:39] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): the" perfect" would be one where everyone is happy, no matter who is on at that moment<br />
[12:39] sadiziah: as ever compatibility is the key here in sl we must on both sides tick enough boxes to be happy<br />
[12:40] Jenna (noamuthquortek): I think it's worth mentioning that adding another Dominant to the dynamic can just as easily disrupt the balance and the sub/s should approach that just as they would another submissive being potentially introduced into the family. Again, something that was preached to me early on and seems to have been a large point in your lecture, communication can make or break anything regardless of it's perceived strength.<br />
[12:41] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): indeed, and that falls under the dome's responsibilities, if the family doesn't mesh with an outsider, move to the next one, not try and try, and try again, then it only leads to a diminuation of the respect the domme receives.<br />
[12:41] sadiziah thinks my box ticking plan is too simplistic for the esteemed company<br />
[12:42] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): not to me Sadie<br />
[12:42] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): it makes perfect sense<br />
[12:42] Jenna (noamuthquortek): K.I.S.S., Keep It Simple Stupid... what box ticking plan if I may ask?<br />
[12:43] sadiziah: mm if you cant tick most boxes don't go there<br />
[12:43] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): or at lest a maximum of similar boxes<br />
[12:43] sadiziah: well if compassion was a box<br />
[12:43] sadiziah: if strictness was a box if loyalty was and so on<br />
[12:43] sadiziah: there's 12 boxes for me<br />
[12:44] sadiziah: if i can't tick 9 its not worth trying<br />
[12:44] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): and about what you said Jenna, if many times the sub goes to her domme to share concerns and she is always sent back frustrated with the answer... trust will quickly fall and make the dommes role way harder<br />
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<br />cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-87600968559650632622015-10-22T17:56:00.007-07:002015-10-22T17:56:57.592-07:00Discipline vs Punishment 4 Oct 2015 Miss Fawn discussion[2015/10/03 12:14] Fawn Starflare: Greetings, and thank you for coming.<br /><br />[2015/10/03 12:29] Fawn Starflare: I think, as it is on my mind, we will talk about discipline and punishment.<br />[2015/10/03 12:29] Fawn Starflare: some of you saw the bundle of stinging nettle I was holding when you came.<br />[2015/10/03 12:31] Fawn Starflare: However, first, I made some changes to my profile last night.<br />[2015/10/03 12:34] Fawn Starflare settles herself in the chair.<br />[2015/10/03 12:35] Fawn Starflare: are we all ready to proceed.<br />[2015/10/03 12:35] Ana Topaz (anathae.bogart): yes Miss<br />[2015/10/03 12:35] Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): nods<br />[2015/10/03 12:35] gwen (sapphicfancy): yes Miss<br />[2015/10/03 12:37] Fawn Starflare: The point I am making here is the difference between training and play.<br />
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<a name='more'></a><br />[2015/10/03 12:38] Fawn Starflare: In real life both the medicine woman and the shaman who taught me (not BDSM!) would throw up their hands because they couldn't spank me, I would like it too much. This means that teachers and Mistresses have to be creative.<br />[2015/10/03 12:38] Ana Topaz (anathae.bogart): giggles<br />[2015/10/03 12:39] Ana Topaz (anathae.bogart): sorry miss but thats what people say to me.<br />[2015/10/03 12:40] Fawn Starflare grins at Ana.<br />[2015/10/03 12:40] Fawn Starflare: That was quite alright. It is amusing. However the question remains for dominants, how to punish, or rather how to correct and train. The first thing is understanding that true submissives react to the dominant's displeasure. I phrase it like that because those interested only in scenes are about the role play and sexual stimulation rather than in being trained. However if you have a true submissive, the dominant's obvious or expressed displeasure is often all it takes. In fact, at this point some sort of actual punishment is required to stem, turn off, the self-guilt. My girls know my displeasure, I usually do not ignore them, but I will withhold an eagerly awaited whipping or "rape."<br />[2015/10/03 12:45] Swallow (ravishedgirl): I don't think that's always the case though. I don't think everyone responds the way you group them .. I've had lots of experience on both sides of this conversation.<br />[2015/10/03 12:48] Fawn Starflare: No, swallow, you are right. Every girl is different, and that's why I took out the nettles for the first time in almost two years (I think). Today's infraction required a correction that will be remembered, and a quick touch from the nettles will do that. Some dommes use the whip or crop. I try not to, those are, in my family, for more pleasurable activity, play punishments, or just because I want to.<br />[2015/10/03 12:52] Swallow (ravishedgirl) must have missed what happened<br />[2015/10/03 12:53] Fawn Starflare: I did not say. I will now. Sextoy missed something going on in SL because she was in another site we, as a family, are using for a fun project.<br /><br /><br /><br />[2015/10/03 13:32] Fawn Starflare: And, I like my girls to be happy, most of the time. And this, for me, makes discipline an interesting situation. Canceling that scene would be a punishment.<br />[2015/10/03 13:32] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov) nods<br />[2015/10/03 13:34] Fawn Starflare: So would withholding the whip, crop, or paddle. What we were discussing was my use of expressing my disappointment with a girl. Swallow correctly pointed out that does not work all the time, not even for some true submissives.<br />[2015/10/03 13:37] Fawn Starflare: maybe I need a better term, however...<br />[2015/10/03 13:39] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): being ignored is a huge punishment for subbies<br />[2015/10/03 13:39] Fawn Starflare: yes.<br />[2015/10/03 13:40] Fawn Starflare: tessa see the first paragraph of my freshly updated profile.<br />[2015/10/03 13:40] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): ooo<br />[2015/10/03 13:43] Fawn Starflare: The thing with pleasures, almost any pleasure can be turned turned into a torment.<br />[2015/10/03 13:43] Fawn Starflare: However, you have to decide about the risk of permanently making a pleasure something to dread.<br />[2015/10/03 13:44] Fawn Starflare: I use them all. slutdoll taught me that. I do things easily now, that I categorically would not do when I met her. She had to make me trust her when she said I could do anything to her. In my experience, very few are able to live up to that. I have learned to test everything a sub tells me about herself.<br />[2015/10/03 13:44] Fawn Starflare: Another favorite theme of mine: We make a big deal of sub trusting the domme. However the obverse is equally true. the domme must trust the sub. Most specially there needs to be trust in the sub's feedback. Is she toughing out something to prove something to herself to me? Is she merely trying to please me? So this trust thing cuts both ways.<br />[2015/10/03 13:50] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): Something similar is true of safeword use I think. You have to trust that a) they will use it when they need to, and b) they won't abuse it.<br />[2015/10/03 13:52] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): The trust comes from open and honest communication, not hiding what you feel or diminishing things because you think that's what the other wants to hear.<br />[2015/10/03 13:52] Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): nods<br />[2015/10/03 13:53] Fawn Starflare: Precisely.<br />[2015/10/03 13:53] Fawn Starflare: excuse me while I get slutdoll's attention.<br />[2015/10/03 13:53] Fawn Starflare: ¸„.-·~¹°”ˆ˜¨ I'll bet you'd love to be dominated, wouldn't you? ¨˜ˆ”°¹~·-.„¸<br />[2015/10/03 13:53] Fawn Starflare: ]¦•¦[ Prepare to suffer! ]¦•¦[<br />[2015/10/03 13:53] A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury): /me giggles<br /><br /><br /><br />[2015/10/03 13:54] Fawn Starflare smiles<br />[2015/10/03 13:54] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): A sub that doesn't safeword when they need to is going to find themselves in a situation where they resent their dominant for going too far. A sub that safewords because things aren't going "their way" will find that their dominant is put in an impossible position: forced to choose between not paying suitable attention to the safeword, or losing control of the situation. And they may choose the third option: to cease playing with the sub altogether.<br /><br /><br /><br />[2015/10/03 13:54] Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): absolutely, Teann<br />[2015/10/03 13:55] Fawn Starflare: There are other ways for both of those to turn out, teann. A lot depends on how much self control the domme has. If she does not strike out in anger and if she has self confidence, both situations can simply be learning experiences that improve things.<br />[2015/10/03 13:58] sadiziah: giggles listening<br />[2015/10/03 13:58] Fawn Starflare: [to slutdoll] Pussy stuffing again tonight, girl. Rope panties again. Ankles to the foot of the bed and collar to the head. Lets keep your hands attached to your collar tonight. No temptation to touch yourself.<br />[2015/10/03 13:59] sadiziah: hope she doesn't get cramp then.<br />[2015/10/03 13:59] Fawn Starflare: And I will do something nasty before allowing you to cum in the morning.<br />[2015/10/03 14:00] Fawn Starflare: She's been doing this over three years. No cramps. We do a few things that are generally not considered safe practices, but which her Russian paranoia does not object to. So far, knock on wood, no problems.<br />[2015/10/03 14:01] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter) chuckles<br />[2015/10/03 14:02] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): I'm sure there are ways to recover situations when a safeword has been under or over used, with enough experience. I think I was focusing more on the establishing the trust before it goes that far / wrong. Building up a clear understanding, on both sides, as to what will happen and what should happen, for it to be good for everyone.<br />[2015/10/03 14:03] Fawn Starflare: Yes, topics we've covered in the past and will cover again, no doubt.<br />[2015/10/03 14:09] Fawn Starflare: Another thing I recall had to do with Teann's remarks about helplessness in her likes, that helplessness must be contrasted with freedom.<br />[2015/10/03 14:09] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter) nods<br />[2015/10/03 14:10] Fawn Starflare: I direct slutdoll's self bondage every Friday and Saturday night since August three years ago. At this point, critical things in the morning are<br />[2015/10/03 14:11] Fawn Starflare: First when she awakens and opens her eyes its as if she didn't open them. Then she can't move. Then she remembers. After that the desire to be free is very great. Knowing she may release herself if she cums, it's like she is one hot breath from orgasm, and the feeling after release is almost orgasmic, too. Especially so if she was denied orgasm.<br />[2015/10/03 14:14] Fawn Starflare: These are things we've learned over the span if 3+ years. playtoy (ekaterina) is just starting on this journey. It's very different. Its anyone's guess as to where she'll be in 3 years. One can try to control the direction of the journey, but the only control the domme has are the challenges she presents.<br />[2015/10/03 14:18] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): The contrast is perhaps what makes the intensity though. Without the denial, the pleasure would be less intense. Without the restriction, the freedom is less rewarding.<br />[2015/10/03 14:19] Fawn Starflare: Indeed, teann, I agree completely.<br />[2015/10/03 14:20] Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): nods, agreeing<br />[2015/10/03 14:20] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): The trust you build allows you to explore near each sub's limits, and by exploring those extremes, maximize the pleasure that they can enjoy. When you decide they've earned it, of course <winks><br />[2015/10/03 14:21] Susan Dangle: *smiles* It's easy to make the Dommy feel like they are in control. But really the sub has most the power in the relationship. You might ask your sub to do something. But it's their choice to comply with it or not.<br />[2015/10/03 14:22] sadiziah: how can that be, a sub having more power than her miss is a contradiction surely<br />[2015/10/03 14:23] Fawn Starflare: You know that's really not true.<br />[2015/10/03 14:23] Susan Dangle: Really?<br />[2015/10/03 14:23] Fawn Starflare: I heard it thousands of times. I've said it many times.<br />[2015/10/03 14:23] Susan Dangle: Then your a well trained Domme, if you think you're the one in charge.<br />[2015/10/03 14:23] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): There are choices on both sides, always. But I don't agree that the sub necessarily has most of the power. Perhaps in a relationship where the dominant is bringing nothing to it.<br />[2015/10/03 14:23] Fawn Starflare: But I have the same power not to play that the sub does. I can disengage.<br />[2015/10/03 14:24] Ana Topaz (anathae.bogart): its a matter of who gives in 1st<br />[2015/10/03 14:24] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter) nods at Fawn<br />[2015/10/03 14:24] sadiziah: agrees with teann it must vary from one relationship to another<br />[2015/10/03 14:24] Susan Dangle: For one who cares for many subs, you have far less control than a Domme with 1 sub.<br />[2015/10/03 14:24] Fawn Starflare: Then that means there has been no submission and its over already.<br />[2015/10/03 14:25] sadiziah: if I submit I would hate to think I had any control, it would destroy it for me.<br />[2015/10/03 14:25] Fawn Starflare: we both have obligations to fulfill. We are both playing roles. Neither has more power than the other.<br />[2015/10/03 14:25] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): Again I disagree Susan. The control you have is not diluted by who you are in a relationship with. Only the time you can spend with them.<br />[2015/10/03 14:25] Susan Dangle: Sadiziah you have limits with your RP; even if you submit, you have a line you're not willing to cross.<br />[2015/10/03 14:26] Fawn Starflare: I have power over my subs only because they grant it. If I compel it, things stop being consensual, and when consent isn't present, well we're talking about something different. In that case one can truly take away all choice.<br />[2015/10/03 14:27] Susan Dangle: Who draws the line Fawn? You or your sub? It's a simple question. Who sets the limit on what they are willing to submit to? You or your sub?<br />[2015/10/03 14:28] Fawn Starflare: Its tricky and we have explored this the last two weeks.<br />[2015/10/03 14:28] Susan Dangle: It's not tricky<br />[2015/10/03 14:28] sadiziah: I have limits but thats not about who's in charge.<br />[2015/10/03 14:29] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): That the sub has a choice does not diminish the aspect of control. If you provide your sub with a pleasure that they cannot get themselves, then it's not about "drawing lines". You are in control because they cannot compel you to give them what they desire.<br />[2015/10/03 14:29] Fawn Starflare: consensual bdsm is a paradox.<br />[2015/10/03 14:29] sadiziah: by definition if I am in control its broken<br />[2015/10/03 14:29] Fawn Starflare: the sub (and i've been a sub and a slave) wants to feel compelled, feel that things are safe and deep down she needs it to be safe, hence trust.<br />[2015/10/03 14:31] Susan Dangle: Oh I agree there has to be trust. On both sides. Submitting to someone who you do not trust isn't good for either person.<br />[2015/10/03 14:31] Fawn Starflare: As a domme I have similar issues, I want to pretend/behave as if the only thing I wanted was her pain, humiliation, suffering, whatever. But it would devastate me to cause real harm.<br />[2015/10/03 14:32] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): The sub has the choice to make it *stop*. That doesn't mean they have control of getting what they want.<br />[2015/10/03 14:32] Susan Dangle: Really Teann you think they don't get what they want?<br />[2015/10/03 14:32] Fawn Starflare: not if the domme knows what she's about.<br />[2015/10/03 14:32] sadiziah nods<br />[2015/10/03 14:33] sadiziah: I was restricted a month for a minor thing. first week it was kinda exciting. Week three i'm like ok i'm sorry. But it stayed the month. Then me being smart did it again. Same restriction 2 months. So I had to do this or risk more displeasure. If I do it again, four months. So she was in control. I made the choice to comply.<br />[2015/10/03 14:33] Fawn Starflare: Powerful incentive to learn, sadiziah, you gave her the control.<br />[2015/10/03 14:36] sadiziah: but not the choice, if that makes any sense.<br />[2015/10/03 14:36] Fawn Starflare: and that's the point.<br />[2015/10/03 14:33] Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): thing is, it ("me", sorry Goddess for that) doesn't want what it wants, it wants what her Domme wants<br />[2015/10/03 14:33] Susan Dangle: When I kneel to my Mistress I have already gotten what I wanted. And started the chain of events that will get more of what I want.<br />[2015/10/03 14:34] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): Then Susan I think your mistress isn't really dominating you.<br />[2015/10/03 14:35] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): When the choice is between playing the way the domme wants, and not playing at all, who is in control? It's not submissive, if you are only doing things you wanted to do anyway.<br />[2015/10/03 14:35] Susan Dangle: ok Teann. Do you request your sub to kneel or does she do it automatically?<br />[2015/10/03 14:35] Susan Dangle: And Fawn same question do your subs kneel by only request or auto?<br />[2015/10/03 14:36] Ana Topaz (anathae.bogart): my submission is based on mutual respect no respect no submission<br /><br /><br /><br />[2015/10/03 14:36] Fawn Starflare: My girls know I love the control. They enjoy letting go of control. We please each other.<br />[2015/10/03 14:37] Susan Dangle: I'm not saying your not pleasing each other.<br />[2015/10/03 14:37] Fawn Starflare: and they know I fill find a way to make them regret displeasing me. Its part of what they desire, but it is real.<br />[2015/10/03 14:37] Susan Dangle: Or am I saying you're not in some form of control. That was given to you. You didn't force taking it from them.<br />[2015/10/03 14:38] Fawn Starflare: If you want to stay in a relationship you do what it takes.<br />[2015/10/03 14:38] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): Some of those who've submitted have knelt for me, but that's not part of the submission. Submission would be kneeling when they didn't want to, because I desired it. And I've had that too. But the only reason they knelt, when they didn't want to, was because I was in control of something else that they wanted more than they *didn't* want to kneel.<br />[2015/10/03 14:39] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): They gave me the kneeling, because I wanted it, and because I had the choice of whether or not to give them the satisfaction they were looking for.<br />[2015/10/03 14:39] Fawn Starflare: for me it meant becoming so good at playing the sadist role it became believable.<br />[2015/10/03 14:39] Fawn Starflare: indeed, teann.<br />[2015/10/03 14:39] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): The control was mine. They could have chosen not to kneel, and not gotten what they wanted.<br />[2015/10/03 14:39] Fawn Starflare: Just like sadiziah, and my girls.<br />[2015/10/03 14:41] Susan Dangle: Look at Sadiziah. She is kneeling no one requested her to kneel she just felt the need to. For herself. No one forced it on her. I am not saying it is a bad thing I rather enjoy subs to kneel without request. But it does show my point that it was her choice not ours.<br />[2015/10/03 14:41] sadiziah: Yes, true but I comply to obey when I don't want to. That is submission.<br />[2015/10/03 14:41] Fawn Starflare: I saw an interesting point about the difference between submissive and slave in a tumblr account this past week. For a submissive there is always room for and the right to negotiate. For a slave there are no rights or negotiations when the contract, verbal or written, is entered. However here is what I discovered.<br />[2015/10/03 14:45] Fawn Starflare: my girls are submissives. There can always be negotiation. However it is my job to make them feel like slaves. No self determination what so ever.<br />[2015/10/03 14:45] Susan Dangle: Well I am have been a sub and Domme and as a Domme I understand I am GIVEN control not taking it.<br />[2015/10/03 14:46] sadiziah: may I just say a thing even though i'm new here<br />[2015/10/03 14:47] Susan Dangle: Your more then welcome to speak Sadiziah.<br />[2015/10/03 14:47] Fawn Starflare: of course, sadiziah<br />[2015/10/03 14:47] sadiziah: its all personal. Everyone sees things different. As long as we feel matched, we should have no negative views about others.<br />[2015/10/03 14:48] Fawn Starflare: I see.<br />[2015/10/03 14:48] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): Susan - why do you think your statement is incompatible with ours? I didn't say that our control was *taken*. I said that the control was *ours*. We achieve it by being who we are, by having something to offer those we play with.<br />[2015/10/03 14:50] Susan Dangle: I never said anything like that Teann. My point is it's a given control not taken. I do think we have lost the main talking point I was trying to state at the start.<br />[2015/10/03 14:51] Fawn Starflare: Susan, have I not stated that my power over my girls was given to me, but that does not mean its not real.<br />[2015/10/03 14:52] Susan Dangle: Oh no Fawn I never said it wasn't real.<br />[2015/10/03 14:52] Fawn Starflare: it is part of the price of being in a relationship with me. They would have no less, nor would I.<br />[2015/10/03 14:52] Susan Dangle: I agree it's their choice to sub to whoever they wish. And it's your choice to Domme whoever you wish.<br />[2015/10/03 14:53] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): I don't force girls to kneel for me. I offer them something that they value, and in return they give up some or most of their influence on their situation. That I have something to offer is what gives me control of the situation. That the submissives enjoy what I offer is what makes them want to give their control away. Your points about Sadiziah kneeling are something altogether different. That's just something she wants to do. No control has been exercised over her. That's nothing to do with dominance or control.<br />[2015/10/03 14:54] Fawn Starflare: but she chose to endure a punishment she did not like. It was the cost of belonging to her mistress.<br />[2015/10/03 14:54] Susan Dangle: Yes and thats my point Teann it was her choice.<br />[2015/10/03 14:54] Fawn Starflare: She gives over control.<br />[2015/10/03 14:56] sadiziah: on reflection, Susan is also correct because anyone who logs on to SL does so because they want to, and therefore its not possible to be a slave, it is only pretend to be.<br />[2015/10/03 14:56] Fawn Starflare: lol ... sadiziah I have been saying this for years.<br />[2015/10/03 14:56] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): Yes Susan. She's not submitting to anyone. She's not given away any control. I thought we were talking about relationships where control is surrendered, not about submissive people who act a certain way. You were talking about subs having most of the control, and I counter that with the distinction that subs have the choice to give away their control, or not give it, but that doesn't mean that they are suddenly in control.<br />[2015/10/03 14:59] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): Sadiziah is not submitting. She's chosen to do something she wanted to do. We were talking about control in submissive relationships, not how submissive girls act outside of a relationship like that.<br />[2015/10/03 14:59] Fawn Starflare: Look, consensual bdsm is different from someone kidnapping you, putting you in chains, and doing whatever they damn well please.<br />[2015/10/03 14:59] Susan Dangle: Ok First I am not saying a Domme has no power. Or that your not in control. But that control is given to you. Without the Sub trusting you, you have nothing.<br />[2015/10/03 15:00] Fawn Starflare: Complain too much and you'll find yourself gagged so tightly you can't breathe. So please, let's not air this as if that's the only thing meant by slave.<br />[2015/10/03 15:01] Susan Dangle: The sub is giving you that feeling of control.<br />[2015/10/03 15:01] sadiziah: can't argue with what you say miss Susan<br />[2015/10/03 15:01] Fawn Starflare: In RL slaves stay because they choose... if it is consensual.<br />[2015/10/03 15:01] Susan Dangle: Yes<br />[2015/10/03 15:01] sadiziah: but lots of us like the illusion, and well I believe in my own submission<br />[2015/10/03 15:01] Denise Diesel: Susan, a sub wants to be controlled. That is why she became submissive. A good Mistress, knows how to deal with that. Among each other they will come to an agreement. So no need to feel sorry with the sub nor the Miss<br />[2015/10/03 15:02] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): I'm sorry, but you *did* say that Susan. You said that the sub has most of the power. And I don't think that's true. The sub offers the opportunity to be controlled, but that really doesn't feel like it would make you the powerful person in the relationship.<br />[2015/10/03 15:02] Fawn Starflare: we define our term in that context.<br />[2015/10/03 15:02] Susan Dangle: Yes Sadi I full agree with you.<br />[2015/10/03 15:02] Fawn Starflare: I know the sub does not have most of the power. It is oft said, but is not true.<br />[2015/10/03 15:03] Susan Dangle: Yes the sub does have most the power in the relationship. She gives you the control and she can cut off that control or set limits to how much or how deep that control is.<br />[2015/10/03 15:03] Fawn Starflare: the common argument is, if the sub leaves, there is no play.<br />[2015/10/03 15:03] Fawn Starflare: and I replied, when I leave there is no play.<br />[2015/10/03 15:03] Susan Dangle: The more they trust you as the dommy the more control you gain.<br />[2015/10/03 15:04] Susan Dangle: You aren't the one who sets the limits in the relationship it's the sub who does that.<br />[2015/10/03 15:04] Fawn Starflare: and do you think I will allow a sub to control the play? That person no longer plays with me.<br />[2015/10/03 15:04] sadiziah: I notion that neither can exist without the other, but subs accept this more graciously<br />[2015/10/03 15:04] Fawn Starflare: and what is the most common sub complaint... no domme to play with.<br />[2015/10/03 15:05] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): Susan, everything you say can be turned around the other way as well. The dominant can set limits as well, and if those limits are breached, they can choose to end the relationship. Both parties are equal in their choice to enter the relationship. But once they're *in* the relationship, one party is getting to decide what happens, and the other is not.<br />[2015/10/03 15:06] Fawn Starflare: also susan, you are not seeing the point. and now I exercise my control. I leave you to play with yourself. Have a good day all. It's been interesting.<br />[2015/10/03 15:07] Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): It wishes the best for everybody :)<br />cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-78472531306658199412015-10-22T17:55:00.001-07:002015-10-22T17:57:07.807-07:00Fawn's family discussion 10/10/2015<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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[2015/10/10 12:09] Fawn Starflare: Ok, ladies and girls, it is definitely nice to see you all here. I want these to be group chats, but everyone is so quiet at the beginning I tend to lecture. The way to stop it is to ask questions, or make a statement. This will work very well as I will be speaking about why I believe I have a successful family. So it's my experience and it WILL differ from yours.<br />
[2015/10/10 12:11] Fawn Starflare: One thing my girls and I have discussed over the week is how things look different from inside and outside the family. We have what appears to be very strict ownership, control, and discipline. However, it functions because we each give to the others what they desire. My girls do not want control so I make choices for them. They want to be kept on leash, and there is nothing I love more. Walking around with my three or four girls on leash is a trip. And If I take them to a restaurant and keep them bound and hand feed them in public, they love it as much as I do. But it works because they turn over control and generally do not try to wrest it back. If they do, well there will be a struggle of will. I will come out on top and there will be "punishments" but we've all had fun. In a way, from the inside, it does not really look so much like BDSM or as the middle two letters indicate, D/s.<br />
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[2015/10/10 12:17] Fawn Starflare: The power is given over consensually. It's different from the fantasies and dreams where you get kidnapped or taken in some way and are physically forced into captivity and your mind and body forcibly trained. That is something we roleplay occasionally, but it would not have made my family work for over three years.<br />
[2015/10/10 12:21] Fawn Starflare: In the past I would refer to my subs as girls. However, they have all come to enjoy total objectification. It started with dragon liking being a doll and my not knowing how to handle that and not really wanting it. Over time I came to find my own joys in it. I've always like hoods, especially ones that make the submissive faceless. No obvious identity. And SL hoods I did not like at one time I have come to enjoy precisely because the level of anonymity enables great objectification. This is an example of the Mistress Growing and Changing to meet the sub's needs. Once I would have been ashamed of this, wondering if I was a "real" domme.<br />
[2015/10/10 12:25] Fawn Starflare: Now I see that I am precisely fulfilling the role. I now understand my toy's needs and how to use them to ensure she remains in complicity in her "slavery." And girls that see us, and the few that have joined us, they are changed by what they see, because my treatment of dragon, and her response came so easily that the framework of love is readily visible.<br />
[2015/10/10 12:28] Fawn Starflare: I do not know about others, but I came to SL looking for a steady, loving, intimate relationship. I knew it had to include D/s and bondage. I know from RL I am not happy without these things. It helps that though dragon was seemingly the girl who could take anything, that she wanted the same things, a loving relationship where she would be of service to her lover/Mistress (eventually wife).<br />
[2015/10/10 12:28] Cyndy (dayzeemai): Fawn I think you've made a very good point. If a relationship/family is to work long term, then it requires adjustment by all the parties. The details will differ but both Domme and subs have to recognize the need.<br />
[2015/10/10 12:30] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): our family life is based on respect and care, I live with two dommes and we all understand how interlaced we are, how we need each other to form a solid unit, one that is aimed at having a good life<br />
[2015/10/10 12:32] Fawn Starflare: Now there is one last point about what I have learned about the difference between RL and SL. I have owned a slave in RL before I ever really started being an online Mistress. In RL there are some things one does that we only play at in SL. I can administer a hellish spanking, whipping or cropping. I can physically hold someone who is rebellious. But there is this fantasy that in SL a "REAL" dome can control and compel submission. 'I've come to the conclusion this is a load of hogwash. The sub can always get up and leave, an option that RL might not provide. Moreover, if I held someone's mind in such thrall that she could not leave, I (me) would be worried about her mental health.<br />
[2015/10/10 12:35] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): lol<br />
[2015/10/10 12:35] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): I'd say what is a real Domme then? What a real one is for one can be different for another.<br />
[2015/10/10 12:36] Fawn Starflare: That is very true, Delora. Extremely so. We had a ruckus last week over the word slave, and what it means. But women who want to have no self-determination at all, and who truly want to be forced look for a different kind of dominant than I am. I could not be that kind of dominant.<br />
[2015/10/10 12:39] Fawn Starflare: As to different notions of "real" dom/me. I think at The Cellar we have sort of a consensus. Most of us, Domme or sub, desire a relationship where love, and desire to be in one role or the other (even for switches) is what holds us together. I have found that girls that hang out with my family and me, tend to be willing to try blindness, and total loss of control, and other things they normally would not do,<br />
[2015/10/10 12:43] Fawn Starflare: I think this happens because of who I am and the respect I give, and because they see what happens between my toys and I and want a taste.<br />
When I met ekatarina, long term bondage, blindness, and many other things were on her list of absolute limits. And somehow after hanging around with us for a few weeks, and interacting with dragon and nilla, she suddenly wanted to be an it and to be held captive for as long as I wished to hold her.<br />
[2015/10/10 12:44] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): nice accomplishments Fawn, congrats :) can you give us some pointers in how You achieved them?<br />
[2015/10/10 12:46] Fawn Starflare: playtoy, would you like to say anything about that sudden turnaround, why you were willing to let me do stuff you would not permit anyone else to do. It happened so fast I found it hard to believe or trust.<br />
[2015/10/10 12:49] Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): well, there are several factors, Goddess.The first is that you know what to do, the second you're committed and finally the feeling of safety. Given how deeply Dragony trusts you, it seemed natural to it to jump on the water of its curiosity. It always wanted to try those things, but you were the first to actually take it that deep and skillfully<br />
[2015/10/10 12:49] Fawn Starflare: I think the first part of my formula is the respect I accord to every submissive (which for me that includes those who would be slaves).<br />
[2015/10/10 12:50] Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): In other words, it had some barriers, but with you it never felt them<br />
[2015/10/10 12:52] Fawn Starflare: Well to continue. I have always wanted to live in the life style. I take it seriously. This meant I have always been committed to improving my interpersonal skill. I offer respect at first meeting, and give it until a girl gives cause for me to let go of it, and I do that reluctantly.<br />
[2015/10/10 12:54] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven): Tessa, come closer, my boots miss you and gwen needs company also<br />
[2015/10/10 12:55] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov) smiles hugely and obeys<br />
[2015/10/10 12:55] Fawn Starflare: What Becky just did is a perfect example of how one gets subs to pay attention. She observed a need and offered to fulfill it by presenting it as a quasi-order. I say quasi order because if the sub chooses not to respond in kind, no one looses face. Becky illustrated something else I find very important. Wanting to see what your subs, and the subs around you need.<br />
[2015/10/10 12:56] Becky S. Rexie (becky.koolhoven) smiles and teases the girls with her boots<br />
[2015/10/10 12:58] Fawn Starflare: My girls watch my moods, and know when to nuzzle me, or to behave a bit impudently to provide an opportunity for play and the semblance of having to apply force.<br />
[2015/10/10 12:59] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): nods as is the other way around as well. some days as Mistress it's better to not play but to just hold them.<br />
[2015/10/10 12:59] Fawn Starflare: Another thing that I find helpful is my RL experience. It allows me to do two different things. The first is helping submissives to understand what happens to a body or a mind in RL when certain things are done. This enables them to RP better and to get deeper into the play.<br />
Most of us know what a Spanish horse is, or riding the horse... i.e. sitting on a pointed or narrow board, by itself or part of a wedge. But the reason it is called a horse is more elusive. When you sit on it in RL it poses a challenge.... Whether to sit on it and allow your clit and pussy to be numbed and hurt by carrying all your weight on such a small area, or whether to try to support your weight by squeezing your legs together and giving your clit a break. In a relatively short time the sub is alternating fair rapidly, and the up and down motion is similar to that of riding a horse.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:04] Agito (agitobell): mhmmm. if i may Miss, i have been on one in RL<br />
[2015/10/10 13:04] Fawn Starflare: Is the description accurate? (It's always good to have someone with experience speak up!)<br />
[2015/10/10 13:06] Agito (agitobell): not quite, most of the horses have a wider ball and some have rests for your knees to take weight if it hurts to much<br />
[2015/10/10 13:06] Fawn Starflare nods<br />
[2015/10/10 13:06] Fawn Starflare: Agito is speaking about sometimes there being a way to rest your weight on your knees. It does get extremely painful, as she says. A bondage where the riders heels are bound to her thighs is extremely punishing and cannot be held for long.<br />
<br />
[2015/10/10 13:07] Agito (agitobell): most have pegs for your subs, if its a good one, so we can relieve pressure if it hurts too much, and most have rounded tops where you sit so its not crippling<br />
<br />
[2015/10/10 13:07] Fawn Starflare: Precisely. And the point of talking about this is not that play has to mimic reality, But that knowing this can improve the enjoyment and roleplay of both domme and sub<br />
[2015/10/10 13:09] Agito (agitobell): in SL you can go much longer on those type of toys than RL<br />
[2015/10/10 13:09] Fawn Starflare: If playing with agito and at first offering no respite, I gain a lot of love the moment I allow her to rest on her knees or slide a thin cushion in there, depending on how you play, however agito is quite correct. Thank you for speaking up, agito. That was most appreciated.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:10] Agito (agitobell) blushes nodding<br />
[2015/10/10 13:11] Fawn Starflare: There are lots of little touches that can be added by paying attention to the needs of one's partner in the RP. I am always pointing out effects on bodies so my girls RP is more meaningful to both of us and their RP improves.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:17] Fawn Starflare: The "horse" is one of many forms of PREDICAMENT bondage. And SL need not mimic RL. However predicament bondage only works when the choices are very obvious. Physical devices have a way of presenting the predicament very clearly. In SL when we RP it is useful to make sure everyone understands the predicament. Then domme, sub, and voyeurs all understand. so attention to detail is important.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:19] Agito (agitobell) nods<br />
[2015/10/10 13:20] Fawn Starflare: Excuse me for a second. Dragon, are you up for another sleepless night? Curious story. I owned dragon in RL before I did in SL. Her Mistress did not care to claim her self bondage. I just took it away from her and told her from now on I would direct her self bondage and that if I didn't assign it, she couldn't.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:33] Fawn Starflare: What I do not mention because it goes without saying is that she is always gagged, and then an eyeless hood worn.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:34] Fawn Starflare: So she sleeps in what my toys and I call the Silent Dark.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:34] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): ohh yikes<br />
[2015/10/10 13:34] Fawn Starflare: And this is where having sisters (multiple subs) is wonderful.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:34] Fawn Starflare: They "infect" each other.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:34] A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury) nods<br />
[2015/10/10 13:35] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): I go crazy when that will happen<br />
[2015/10/10 13:35] Fawn Starflare: Seeing how much one or more of her sisters like something induces newer subs to try them.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:36] Fawn Starflare: A lot of my being a successful domme is about being able to sense when the best thing to do is nothing. That is allow sisterhood to do its work.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:36] Fawn Starflare: Delora, are you speaking as a top or a bottom?<br />
[2015/10/10 13:37] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): Lol well if I would have had that happen with me I'd go crazy... but if my sub would find it comforting I can do that..<br />
[2015/10/10 13:37] Fawn Starflare: Amen.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:37] Fawn Starflare: Same issue I have faced over and over.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:38] Fawn Starflare: I have learned to RP a very effective and scary Sadist for my girls.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:38] A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury) smiles<br />
[2015/10/10 13:38] Fawn Starflare: It was a question of living up to their needs.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:38] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): I have found I can do a lot more if I know my girl enjoys it even if it doesn't do anything for me<br />
[2015/10/10 13:38] Fawn Starflare: A lot of BDSM is like that.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:38] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): but then I like to please my girls<br />
[2015/10/10 13:38] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): it's the submissive heart I have<br />
[2015/10/10 13:39] Fawn Starflare: My girls will do anything for me because (1) they know deep down they are always safe, and (2) during play is feels totally unsafe and uncontrolled.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:39] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): like with Altra here I had to get used to the fact she wanted me to tell her what to look like exactly...<br />
[2015/10/10 13:39] Fawn Starflare: I think this is what others are aware of when they ask to play with us.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:39] Altrabelle Boardman (altrabelle): I like to be what you want Mistress<br />
[2015/10/10 13:39] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): but we made several shapes now together that enjoy immensely...<br />
[2015/10/10 13:40] Fawn Starflare smiles at altra.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:40] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): She knows now what I love and makes fabulous shapes and such now<br />
[2015/10/10 13:40] Fawn Starflare: We resemble each other quite alot in this regard, Altra.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:41] Fawn Starflare: And I think, in this particular club, this is defined as being a Real, caring Mistress, one worth serving.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:41] Fawn Starflare: Other clubs promote different profiles, but this is what it is at The Cellar.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:41] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): smiles<br />
[2015/10/10 13:41] Fawn Starflare strokes ata's hair and leashes her<br />
[2015/10/10 13:42] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): we never started out for her to become mine.. we were just giving her a home a place to be loved and get some rest after the one she was with last and how that ended..<br />
[2015/10/10 13:42] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): But then she became mine in the end.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:42] Altrabelle Boardman (altrabelle) sighs softly feeling the leash click into place<br />
[2015/10/10 13:42] Fawn Starflare smiles at both women.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:42] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): we took her in our family and I can call her mine<br />
[2015/10/10 13:43] Altrabelle Boardman (altrabelle): I never expected that Mistress wanted me the way I grew to want to be hers<br />
[2015/10/10 13:43] Fawn Starflare: with the exception of dragon, this is how it was with me and my three other girls, and a few who are frequently with us, e.g. ada.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:44] Delora SL Boardman (delorab) smiles<br />
[2015/10/10 13:44] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): we started our family just with the two of us<br />
[2015/10/10 13:44] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): now we have our own little village<br />
[2015/10/10 13:44] Fawn Starflare: I went through a progression.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:44] Fawn Starflare: At first I resembles a collector.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:44] Altrabelle Boardman (altrabelle): but to your other point, a good D/s balance grows as both learn of the other, their likes, dislikes, kinks. SOme things are amazingly hot with one partner which might be bland or distasteful with another<br />
[2015/10/10 13:44] Fawn Starflare: I would take in girls simply because they needed to be owned.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:45] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): My wife and myself it started growing when I wanted to discover my Domme side and we attract switches so it grows quickly then.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:45] Fawn Starflare: But they would disappear and I felt awfull about the turn over.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:45] Delora SL Boardman (delorab) nods at Altra's comment<br />
[2015/10/10 13:45] Fawn Starflare: Then I learned to collar fewer so the others got more time and attention.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:46] Fawn Starflare: Then I learned to select for loyalty and willgness to be there for me, not for socializing.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:46] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): well that sounds better.. we will give some that need a safe place a place at our home...<br />
[2015/10/10 13:46] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): not with the intention of collaring.. like at first I didn't know Altra at all<br />
[2015/10/10 13:47] Altrabelle Boardman (altrabelle): Yes you never pressured me to take the collar, You waited till I was almost begging for it<br />
[2015/10/10 13:47] Fawn Starflare: Or, Altra, thisngs that were bland become hot because you are with the right partner, the one that can put you in your submissive place so you can enjoy it.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:47] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): laughs<br />
[2015/10/10 13:47] Fawn Starflare: There are things I find I love that I was never comfortable with before dragon.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:48] Delora SL Boardman (delorab) bites Altra's ear as I listen to Miss Fawn...<br />
[2015/10/10 13:48] Fawn Starflare: And it was sextoy that really made me comfortable with objectification. And slutdoll benefited greatly from that<br />
[2015/10/10 13:48] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): oh we've been talking about that too<br />
[2015/10/10 13:48] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): not sure how to yet so we went for this midway<br />
[2015/10/10 13:48] Altrabelle Boardman (altrabelle) moans and squirms, looking back at her beloved Mistress, I" know my tastes are more extreme than Mistress was used to"<br />
[2015/10/10 13:49] Delora SL Boardman (delorab) grins and I surprised her as well<br />
[2015/10/10 13:49] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): she always thought I was the sweet loving kind without any kinky sides<br />
[2015/10/10 13:49] Fawn Starflare: That is how it was for me with Dragon.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:50] Fawn Starflare: She needed me to play a very nasty sadist. I needed her to become TPE. We each learned from and accommodated the other.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:50] Altrabelle Boardman (altrabelle) gigles, "I was very wrong, our first hardcore scene left me dizzy"<br />
[2015/10/10 13:50] Altrabelle Boardman (altrabelle): That may have been the blood loss too....<br />
[2015/10/10 13:51] Fawn Starflare: The fantasy stories we read, the girls if forced to become what the captor desires. But in a long term relationship it happens differently.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:51] Fawn Starflare: Subs and dommes learn to become what the other needs.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:51] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): nods<br />
[2015/10/10 13:51] Fawn Starflare: The D/s is that one is obedient to the other. but in all other respects it is a vanilla relationship.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:51] Fawn Starflare: Bot learn to respect and honor the other.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:52] Fawn Starflare: So this is what I believe to be the essence of the "real" domme<br />
[2015/10/10 13:53] Fawn Starflare: Learning to listen, watch, and to react appropriately.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:54] Fawn Starflare: Learning the social skills to lead a party and put your girl in display. She loves being made to perform in public, even being humiliated in public, so give her the chance to shine.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:54] Altrabelle Boardman (altrabelle): I appreciate the quotes, I never liked "Real Domme" or "True Domme" there is no such thing, there is the right one for a certain sub or relationship<br />
[2015/10/10 13:55] Fawn Starflare: My girls learn to love being blindfolded , even in SL... because I have learned to RP in a way that supplies the missing sense of smell and touch and vibrations.<br />
[2015/10/10 13:55] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): mmmm<br />
[2015/10/10 13:56] Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit) nods, smiling<br />
[2015/10/10 14:05] Fawn Starflare: She taught me to require girls to stay until I dismissed them.<br />
[2015/10/10 14:05] Fawn Starflare: She flatly refused to go until she heard me say the words.<br />
[2015/10/10 14:06] Fawn Starflare: And If I forget to tell her she may cum in the morning she doesn't.<br />
[2015/10/10 14:06] Fawn Starflare: Last Saturday she did not hear me give her her instructions, so the next morning she had missed a night in bondage<br />
[2015/10/10 14:07] Fawn Starflare: Having a sub like that, tend to make me expect more from all my girls.<br />
[2015/10/10 14:07] Fawn Starflare: Now katya has given me her RL bondage and is doing stuff she's never done before.<br />
[2015/10/10 14:07] Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): nods, nods<br />
[2015/10/10 14:08] Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): it is very happy about that ^_^<br />
[2015/10/10 14:08] Delora SL Boardman (delorab): I learned to bind my arms myself now lol...<br />
[2015/10/10 14:10] Fawn Starflare: Dragon and I are quite cautious. We do things we know are not considered to be safe. But she finds the risk acceptable, and remember, she's Russian, therefore she is quite paranoid.cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-14769370783036127342015-09-28T17:23:00.003-07:002015-09-28T17:24:53.330-07:00Objectification - Miss Fawn discussion 26 Sept 2015<br />
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[2015/09/26 11:57] gwen: here comes Miss Fawn ! Hello Miss<br />
[2015/09/26 11:57] gwen smiles warmly<br />
[2015/09/26 11:57] Ruby: good evening Ms Starflare<br />
[2015/09/26 12:05] Fawn Starflare: Yes, I sort of had a topic in mind last night, so I agreed to do the discussion.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:05] Fawn Starflare: And finally, ruby, It is nice to meet you as well. Are you new to the Cellar?<br />
[2015/09/26 12:06] Ruby: i have been coming sporadically, Miss Fawn. Mouse recommended that i should come.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:07] Fawn Starflare: Oh nice! mousie is a good friend and sub.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:07] Fawn Starflare: San is very lucky to own her<br />
[2015/09/26 12:08] Fawn Starflare: Oh, and here, is ada. One of Miss Denise's girls, though often on my leash holder.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:09] Fawn Starflare: Sextoy, the one with only mouth, pussy, ass, and tits exposed is the toy I mentioned in my announcement.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:09] Fawn Starflare: sextoy, as you need to leave almost immediately, would you explain what objectification has come to mean to you. When I found you in this room you were not yet a sextoy.<br />
2015/09/26 12:11] A-Toy sextoy: It is something that goes way back. It was a long time before 'it' became Goddess' property put into this kind of outfit. But Goddess has refined it and enhanced it's role.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
[2015/09/26 12:11] A-Toy slutdoll smiles<br />
[2015/09/26 12:11] Fawn Starflare: ·´)› Here's your punishment ‹(`·<br />
[2015/09/26 12:11] Fawn Starflare: ]¦•¦[ Prepare to suffer! ]¦•¦[<br />
[2015/09/26 12:11] Fawn Starflare: ((that's just my way to make sure my girls are present))<br />
[2015/09/26 12:11] A-Toy slutdoll: i like this method =^,,^=<br />
[2015/09/26 12:12] Fawn Starflare: And the night you decided you wanted to only be a an 'it'?<br />
[2015/09/26 12:12] A-Toy sextoy: The objectification has become important for it. More and more over time.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:12] A-Toy sextoy: The night it decided to give up it's humanity and become an object was intense, but also giving it a peace in it's mind<br />
2015/09/26 12:13] A-Toy sextoy: As being nothing more than three holes and two tits is a total opposite of a normal life, it creates a way to let go of worries and just focus on Goddess.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:14] Fawn Starflare: Are you still sleeping better, sextoy? I know you seem more happy.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:14] A-Toy sextoy: You could say 'it' is it's gift to it's Goddess, and in much it really is. But it is also giving it a welcome break from it's real life issues.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:15] A-Toy sextoy: Yes Goddess, it feels much more at ease since it became your object.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:16] A-Toy sextoy: It sleeps better, finds more strength for work, feels happier and more complete<br />
[2015/09/26 12:16] Fawn Starflare: As relief from the demands of family, maintaining a home, and an overly responsible job??<br />
[2015/09/26 12:16] A-Toy sextoy: exactly!<br />
[2015/09/26 12:16] A-Toy sextoy: It's a kind of stress relief, and a more than intimate way to submit. Perfect combination for it at least.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:17] Fawn Starflare: And I know you have to leave to return to your RL.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:17] Fawn Starflare: I will seal you. But TP home before logging off<br />
[2015/09/26 12:17] A-Toy sextoy: yes Goddess<br />
[2015/09/26 12:17] Fawn Starflare: Mutes sextoy's hearing.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:18] A-Toy sextoy: And for all listeners, as 'it' is nothing more than an object it is kept blind, gagged and deaf as it is stored<br />
[2015/09/26 12:18] Fawn Starflare: Makes it totally blind,<br />
[2015/09/26 12:18] A-Toy sextoy sighs happily as it is blinded<br />
[2015/09/26 12:18] Fawn Starflare: And makes is impossible to do anything but moan and dimly scream.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:19] Fawn Starflare: Ok, sextoy, you are dismissed.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:19] Fawn's sextoy HMMPF<br />
[2015/09/26 12:19] Fawn Starflare: Have a wonderful time with your family and sweet dreams.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:19] A-Toy amazon: Take care, sextoy.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:19] Ekaterina Urstein: sweet dreams, sis :)<br />
[2015/09/26 12:19] Fawn's sextoy loves its family and its Goddess very much and moans softly as it bows its head for them<br />
[2015/09/26 12:20] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: may I ask a question Fawn?<br />
[2015/09/26 12:20] Fawn Starflare: Yes, Kay, please.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:21] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: why do your girls call themselves "it"?<br />
[2015/09/26 12:21] Fawn's sextoy: 'it' is a sextoy, an object with only three holes and two tits. And the property of its Goddess.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:21] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: are they anti-gender?<br />
[2015/09/26 12:21] Fawn Starflare: In a way, some of them are.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:22] Fawn Starflare: They are objects.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:22] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: they are not loving submissives to you??<br />
[2015/09/26 12:22] Fawn Starflare: sextoy's desire is to be be used as I would use a dildo.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:22] A-Toy sextoy (Nilla Hax): left the region.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:22] gwen: So, not so much as a gender issue, its that they are "its" not humans?<br />
[2015/09/26 12:22] Fawn Starflare: In our culture we do not assign an identity or gender to most objects.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:23] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: yes, I get that and all the titles, what perplexes me, is that they are people too. My girls have names. They are girls, and they speak of themselves as such.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:23] Fawn Starflare: There is a bit of controversy over objectification, and my attitude about it has changed radically.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:24] A-Toy amazon smiles. "If you don't mind me interjecting, Mistress.. each of us is different in our desires and how we interact with Mistress."<br />
[2015/09/26 12:24] Fawn Starflare: At one time in forums, one would see dominants, almost exclusively men, requiring slaves to refer to themselves only as 'it', taking away identity to train humility and submission.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:24] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: Oh my goodness, that is long gone. I get it, and I respect your choice/culture.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:25] Ruby raises her hand<br />
[2015/09/26 12:25] Fawn Starflare: No it's not long gone. I encounter it all the time.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:25] Fawn Starflare: Yes, Ruby?<br />
[2015/09/26 12:26] Ruby: if i may interject, respectfully, i feel what happens with an objectified person is pertinent to the objectsphere he or she is being put into by the dominant. Yes, that person is human, and yes that person has a name. But while in the objectsphere, he or she can disconnect from that, and have a state of disconnection<br />
[2015/09/26 12:27] Fawn Starflare: I started this discussion in an usual way. I have not really stated my beliefs, or what I desire from my girls.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:28] A-Toy slutdoll smiles<br />
[2015/09/26 12:28] Fawn Starflare: I present an extreme end-case because she needed to return to her RL family. So that is the end of the story arc.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:28] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: I think Ruby said it well<br />
[2015/09/26 12:29] Fawn Starflare: Yes. You, Kay, and also Ruby seem to assume i BELIEVE SOMETHING THAT I DO NOT.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:29] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: what is that, may I ask?<br />
[2015/09/26 12:29] Fawn Starflare: I do not use objectification in that way of trying to reduce ego, increase humility, or any of that stuff. As I pointed out my priorities are these, in this order.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:30] Ruby: i never assumed any such things, Miss Fawn, if i may. i just stated an opinion, respectfully<br />
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<br />
[2015/09/26 12:30] Fawn Starflare: Intimate FRIENDSHIPS, and I do not mean acquaintances the way social sites have sucked the meaning out of the word "friend".<br />
[2015/09/26 12:31] Fawn Starflare: Companionship, Intimacy, loyalty, trust, love.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:31] A-Toy amazon: /me giggles. "I think we all get the difference between 'friends' and 'Facebook friends'."<br />
[2015/09/26 12:31] Fawn Starflare: That is, I and my girls, like many of you, desire a long term stable relationship.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:32] Fawn Starflare: I am not sure of that amazon. You and I are older. 20-somethings may never have seen the word used in a meaningful way.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:32] Fawn Starflare: I put BDSM after those other things. My girls and I need BDSM in our relationships, but its organizational.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:33] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: BDSM is the "love" part for many<br />
[2015/09/26 12:33] Fawn Starflare: I run my family, but I deeply respect my girls as women and human beings. And here is where objectification comes in. I believe in doing unto a sub what she would have done to her.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:34] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: is not taking their gender and names away, a manner of distancing them from you?<br />
[2015/09/26 12:34] Fawn Starflare: The BDSM relationship is a collaborative relationship.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:35] Fawn Starflare: As a Domme and leader I try to help my girls grow. Not in some cookie-cutter pattern of my own, but in ways important to them. I take joy in making their fantasies live, and co-opt them to my purposes, using it for my enjoyment and entertainment.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:35] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: yes, feeding them, letting them grow, helping them to realize their full potential.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:35] Ruby: i would have a comment to Miss Kay's if i may, Miss Fawn<br />
[2015/09/26 12:35] Fawn Starflare: That I do that is important to my girls. That I put me first, completes them as subs, as toys.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:36] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: of course it is Fawn<br />
[2015/09/26 12:36] Fawn Starflare: Now slutdoll (dragon) always enjoyed being a doll.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:36] A-Toy slutdoll: and pony! and kitty!<br />
[2015/09/26 12:37] A-Toy slutdoll: =^,,^=<br />
[2015/09/26 12:37] Fawn Starflare: All these subs you see wanting to be only a number and look like a robot.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:37] A-Toy amazon grins<br />
[2015/09/26 12:37] Ekaterina Urstein bats its eyelashes<br />
[2015/09/26 12:37] Fawn Starflare: And I could not give my wife what she wanted. I didn't want a doll.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:37] Susan Dangle: It's easy to forget that the sub is very much a part of and agreeing to whats going on vs just the Domme. It's not right to blame or look down on a Domme for something they all agreed to. Seeing it from the outside, you can and will always see and color it wrong in your own mind. Many people who do not understand D/s do not see it as what it really is. Joint agreement on what is taking place.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:37] Fawn Starflare: But we each taught and trained the other.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:37] Fawn Starflare: I gradually got into the whole doll thing, especially when sextoy joined us.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:38] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: oh, I know D/s very well from both sides actually<br />
[2015/09/26 12:38] Fawn Starflare: Now slutdoll loves to be treated as a doll. In fact they all rather enjoy being treated as objects, things without any feelings for me to consider when I use them. But that's a game.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:39] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: I have called myself 'girl', as that was what my Mistress at the time required, she called me 'girl'<br />
[2015/09/26 12:39] Fawn Starflare: They feel safe with me because they know that to me they will always be women, independent and strong.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:39] A-Toy amazon: Watching Mistress and slutdoll ... hehe... I still have to remind myself of that... watching their relationship has been very satisfying for me.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:40] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: I totally get it Fawn<br />
[2015/09/26 12:40] Fawn Starflare: But in the RP of D/s I seem to ignore feeling. I learned to play a deep sadist, but it's only a role.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:40] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: I just feel taking away their identity is somewhat belittling<br />
[2015/09/26 12:40] Susan Dangle: No one should judge others RP if you do not know whats really going on. I see it to often, someone getting upset over D/s when they are only seeing one side of it.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:41] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet: Yea, usually aftercare is private. :)<br />
[2015/09/26 12:41] Fawn Starflare: The paradox of BDSM is being able to be in a person to be humiliated, hurt, abused, serve without choice while deeply knowing, but consciously forgetting, we are safe.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:41] Ruby: Miss Kay, i feel objectification is not a tool meant to distance Domme from sub; On the contrary, i feel that built on a base of consent, respect, communication and trust, it is a way to complement that closeness. Especially for the sub, i think, because objectification allows total surrender to the Domme for those people who enjoy it.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:42] Ekaterina Urstein: well, when using "it", it goes deeper in its bond with Goddess, it's very thrilling, actually<br />
[2015/09/26 12:42] Ruby: i mean, is there more a total surrender than to tell one's Mistress, "please make me your object"<br />
[2015/09/26 12:42] Fawn Starflare: Sorry ladies and girls... I tend to type with my head down.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:42] Fawn Starflare: Interesting remarks there.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:42] Susan Dangle: I agree there are times when I see a couple I might question whats happening. And even seen bad Dommy's and bad subs. But honestly I shouldn't judge them or care what they themselves want.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:42] Fawn Starflare: Talk about judging. I remember being at lover's playground and someone going, "What did she do to deserve that."<br />
[2015/09/26 12:43] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: oh, I'm not questioning or judging any of you or any one for that matter, I am interested in the reasoning behind it.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:43] Fawn Starflare: And my answer is, "She was very good and obedient and stretched her limits, and I am rewarding her in a way she enjoys."<br />
[2015/09/26 12:44] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: I am interested, as it is a new way for me. Maybe I might like it or even enjoy it, but I wish to understand it first.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:44] Susan Dangle: D/s by itself is like any RL Relationship. Just you are giving a lot more Trust.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:44] Fawn Starflare: I was a 50%/50% switch until after being with dragon for a year.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:45] Fawn Starflare: It became too complicated to try to sub and take proper care of my wife. I gave up subbing.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:45] Susan Dangle: BDSM is play many D/s relationships do. Both aren't the same thing. There are many who do BDSM who aren't into D/s<br />
[2015/09/26 12:46] A-Toy amazon: Just to be a smart ass... judgment is vital. I rely on my judgments of others to guide my choices relative to those people. Though i try to be aware of how much information I have.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:46] Fawn Starflare: Of course Susan, but consider this<br />
[2015/09/26 12:46] Fawn Starflare: BDSM == BD + D/s + SM<br />
[2015/09/26 12:46] Susan Dangle: D/s is the relationship side. Its a relationship organization. Who obeys whom comes after intimacy, companionship, and love. Many people who are just starting learning D/s tend to focus on the play not the relationship.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:47] Fawn Starflare: And in my family they take care of me as much as I take care of them. I want to make them happy.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:47] Ekaterina Urstein: nods warmly<br />
[2015/09/26 12:47] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: isn't that what any Mistress wants?<br />
[2015/09/26 12:48] Fawn Starflare: But like a parent, if it is necessary to correct them I do it with love, out of love, doing my utmost to make the correction appropriate to the situation. I would not say "any Mistress," Kay.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:48] A-Toy amazon: Miss Kay.. unless you're slicing the definition of Mistress in a very particular way... I'd say no.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:49] Fawn Starflare: Here at the cellar we tend to put a premium on relationship.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:49] Ruby: any Mistress truly worth her salt :)<br />
[2015/09/26 12:49] Fawn Starflare: The ones we call fake dominants or fake subs, their focus is not the same. I cannot prescribe or speak for them.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:49] Susan Dangle: agreed<br />
[2015/09/26 12:49] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: I have been here at the cellar for many years, not a lot since some people passed away, but I know all about what you do here<br />
[2015/09/26 12:50] Fawn Starflare: I am at the Cellar because somehow relationship has always come first here.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:50] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: yes, it does, I even recommend it to newbies on the D/s subject. I have learned much here, and why I return from time to time, in hopes I might learn more, thus my questioning<br />
[2015/09/26 12:50] Fawn Starflare: /me smiles @ Kay, And good questions, too.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:50] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet: This is the first time i've been here.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:50] Fawn Starflare: Welcome, Amanda. I am hoping you are enjoying the chat.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:51] Susan Dangle: There are many who aren't following D/s, just the play or act of it. And they really don't care if others don't like or agree with them. But then again why should we look down on them? They are humans too and just wanting to play. Granted I do not get involved with them. But thats my choice.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:51] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet: I am very much thank you :)<br />
2015/09/26 12:51] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet: I really like that line of thinking Susan.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:52] Fawn Starflare: amazon, slutdoll, playtoy, do any of you want to add anything?<br />
[2015/09/26 12:52] Susan Dangle: I've been in the same D/s relationship for over 10 years with the same Dommy. I've seen many Dommy's and subs come and go thru SL.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:52] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet: that's wonderful!<br />
[2015/09/26 12:52] Fawn Starflare: Good for you, Susan.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:53] Susan Dangle: I used to run a D/s chat group for many years. On helping new people understand it or join it if they wanted.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:53] Fawn Starflare: If I might, I would say one further thing on objectification that applies to all sorts of roles.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:53] A-Toy amazon: I agree with most of what's been said. Even for casual players or players who are not really interested in relationship... there *is* a relationship. I find it works out much better when you have people who say that out loud and are willing to talk and to compromise.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:53] Fawn Starflare: Every girl or toy is unique. When we play by ourselves, my girls can all look the same.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:54] Susan Dangle: Twinning is a fun RP. If one likes it.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:54] Fawn Starflare: But the reality is, each has a unique psychology. And it means that they are turning on and off to different parts of the play. Sextoy begged vociferously to never be allowed to use I, me, she, her.<br />
She literally begged to be only an object.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:55] Ekaterina Urstein: well, "it" helped it to focus on its features, enhancing them and producing a better life overall. Goddess keeps "it" and "she" in balance, so it feels very safe. Plus as said earlier, it goes deeper in the bond, and sees "it" as a neutral gender, not bound to pre-made ideas<br />
[2015/09/26 12:55] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: and your girls are trained well<br />
[2015/09/26 12:55] Fawn Starflare: Yes.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:55] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: they each have a lot of respect for you, I can see that<br />
[2015/09/26 12:55] Susan Dangle: I'm no better then any Domme or sub. Just being one for a long time doesn't make me better :) Just means I've seen everything that many of us have problems with or are confused about.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:55] Fawn Starflare: This is playtoy. Her sister influenced her and playtoy uses it, but playtoy also needs her humanity.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:56] Ekaterina Urstein nods<br />
[2015/09/26 12:56] A-Toy slutdoll smiles<br />
[2015/09/26 12:56] A-Toy amazon giggles. "And I am almost a polar opposite to sextoy in that regard."<br />
[2015/09/26 12:56] Fawn Starflare: Yep.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:56] Fawn Starflare: And slut doll in between. She likes the objectification, and desires to be deeply objectified, and then to be cuddled and coddled while bound.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:57] Ekaterina Urstein blushes softly and smiles brightly.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:57] Fawn Starflare: LOL<br />
[2015/09/26 12:57] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet: Can i ask a question of Eka?<br />
[2015/09/26 12:57] Susan Dangle: I like seeing new Domme's who really want to know what D/s is about. So I do not wish to run any off. It's great to ask questions and get involved in groups like this.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:57] Fawn Starflare: Susan, that perspective about length of experience is true for me, too. I've seen stuff. Some I understand, some I don't.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:57] Ekaterina Urstein: sure, Amanda<br />
[2015/09/26 12:57] A-Toy amazon: Open conversation is lovely.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:57] Susan Dangle: Agreed. It would be boring if we knew everything :)<br />
[2015/09/26 12:58] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet: Do you feel, going into a deeper losing of self, that it forms a stronger relationship? To me it seems it would, that is a lot of trust.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:58] Fawn Starflare: But here I have a girl who copes with RL better because I am willing to treat her like that. How can I judge her, or someone like me that wants to make her happy. If my purpose was to tear down her identity, to demean and degrade her, rebuild her soul..... that, to me, is the worst sort of crime, akin to murder.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:59] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: I agree<br />
[2015/09/26 12:59] A-Toy amazon: The quality I try to evaluate on is whether a relationship looks healthy to me. If I see a toxic relationship, the only reason I'd want to be involved is if one or both people are friends.<br />
[2015/09/26 12:59] Susan Dangle: I try to not judge anyone. Or their style of play. People might have kinks I totally disagree with. But I'm an adult and know I can cover my eyes so to speak. If someone is doing something I disagree with.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:00] Ruby: if it means your toy's satisfaction and fulfillment, objectification is only a tool, and something that gratifies both you and her, used as a weapon... it's, i feel, abuse<br />
[2015/09/26 13:00] Kitty Larsen: mmm im really eager to hear the Pope's vision on this...<br />
[2015/09/26 13:00] Susan Dangle: Pope would say we're all evil and going to hell :) While running from the room to go masturbate in his room. [A.N. The Pope actually spoke against narrow mindedness]<br />
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<br />
[2015/09/26 13:00] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: lols Kitty<br />
[2015/09/26 13:00] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: omg Susan<br />
[2015/09/26 13:00] A-Toy amazon: If it looks healthy, or if I simply don't know... then yay, it's two people doing right by one another, and I should let them follow their own needs. Possibly from a safe distance.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:00] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet: A-toy, that's a lot what I do in RL.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:01] Ekaterina Urstein: Amanda, it always keeps its self-identity, that's why it can go deeper, but the feeling of giving more and more trust, it does help for strengthening is mutual. Since in this kind of travel, trust is mutual<br />
[2015/09/26 13:01] Fawn Starflare: My point exactly.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:01] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet: Thank you Eka, sorry for the misinterpretation.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:02] Ekaterina Urstein: No harm done, Amanda :)<br />
[2015/09/26 13:02] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet: But i learned even more from my question :)<br />
2015/09/26 13:02] Ruby: if i may share an experience Miss Fawn?<br />
[2015/09/26 13:03] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: I am amazed at the level of trust in what you have Fawn<br />
[2015/09/26 13:04] Fawn Starflare: Yes Kay, I somehow engender very much trust and faith from female submissives.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:05] Fawn Starflare: Yes, it requires a lot of trust. and trust takes time.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:05] Fawn Starflare: And do not think that its only the sub who needs to trust the domme.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:05] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet: certainly.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:05] Fawn Starflare: The Domme has trust issues, too. Dragon said, "You can do anything to me that you like." And I was, "Yeah, right!" Very sarcastically.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:06] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet: ha! been there!<br />
[2015/09/26 13:06] Fawn Starflare: She had to earn my trust before I felt comfortable RPing a sadist for her.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:06] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet: I have a hard time getting comfortable with it.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:07] Fawn Starflare: This is an issue I've seen mentioned elsewhere.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:07] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: but the trust is also in oneself as well<br />
[2015/09/26 13:07] Fawn Starflare: Yes, very true, Kay.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:07] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet nods.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:07] Fawn Starflare: Recently my inner fantasies have been very very dark.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:07] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet: oh, fun.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:08] Fawn Starflare: And I explained to my girls and said I was afraid to let them out.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:08] A-Toy amazon smiles. "I can attest to the trust thing. I've found I have no real desire to be a domme to anyone except a select few of my friends who bring it out in me."<br />
[2015/09/26 13:08] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet: I know those feelings well.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:08] Fawn Starflare: But they have interest in it, and I trust them to be strong enough to say to me, "No, that's too far."<br />
[2015/09/26 13:09] Ekaterina Urstein: nods<br />
[2015/09/26 13:09] Fawn Starflare: It is very hard to fully submit to someone.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:09] Ekaterina Urstein: 'it' feels its responsibility to provide her a safe environment for her fantasies about it<br />
[2015/09/26 13:09] Fawn Starflare: The level of trust required is very high. People who can truly submit are not weak people, but very secure people, very strong. This is a lesson I've been teaching katya. Putting her into positions where she is available to anyone.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:10] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: funny, my wife and I trust each other to the end, and it is THAT trust that lets us go beyond barriers and explore the limits.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:11] Fawn Starflare: And it has made her stronger, reinforced her sense of self. But that was done only after coming to know her very well.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:11] Ekaterina Urstein: nods, blushing, remembering those events<br />
[2015/09/26 13:11] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: smiles, those are beautiful events<br />
[2015/09/26 13:11] Ruby: i have a background in gorean role play; the ethos there is that slaves are considered property; in a way, a form of objectification. Granted they are considered "animals" as a matter of fact a common moniker for slaves in gorean role play is "beast" however i wish to propose that the objectification (animalization?) that slaves are subjected to in gorean role play is not a good one. There are bad kinds of objectification, or bad ways in which to use it. Much like a spade is either a tool or a weapon. In gorean role play objectification of slaves is used as a weapon<br />
[2015/09/26 13:11] Fawn Starflare: Remember everyone is unique. The way one person handles something may not work for another.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:12] Fawn Starflare: Ruby, that's because of the flawed philosophy of Gor.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:13] Fawn Starflare: The notion that women are only fit to be slaves. That men are the only ones fit to rule.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:13] Fawn Starflare: It's a very misogynous message.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:13] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: I have, (I'm sorry) no good words for Gor.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:14] Ekaterina Urstein: and like Goddess said, 'it' got in touch tighter with itself and its features and its worthiness<br />
[2015/09/26 13:14] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet: Ruby, I have a background too. I believe the roleplay as a whole, can be very like that. But the personal relationships within, not so much.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:14] Fawn Starflare: I read the first 10 Gor books as they were published when I was a teen.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:14] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet: that is, if you find a good one.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:14] A-Toy amazon grins at Katya. "You have always struck me as being supremely comfortable in your own skin."<br />
[2015/09/26 13:14] Fawn Starflare: By book 8, I was completely disgusted and bored.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:15] gwen: I quit in the middle of book 2<br />
[2015/09/26 13:15] Ekaterina Urstein: well Cali, thank you much. Goddess did help me for the remaining scars and still does it<br />
[2015/09/26 13:15] Fawn Starflare strokes play's hair. It has done very well. It very clearly has better self worth and self confidence than when we met a few months back.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:15] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet: i agree completely Fawn, but the books and the roleplay have distanced much.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:16] A-Toy amazon: I have no direct experience with the books, nor have I immersed myself in a Gorean RP group. I have noticed that Goreans have a focus on protocol that far exceeds my personal taste for it.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:16] Ekaterina Urstein: beams, purring happily from the praise, Thank you much for the praise Goddess, it is so glad to have pleased you this way<br />
[2015/09/26 13:17] Fawn Starflare: When I found these books in the grocery story, I was stunned and couldn't wait to read them. And I almost stopped by page 10.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:21] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: my wife, (as I for my wife) is on my Collar, we can chat even when my Mistress blocks me<br />
[2015/09/26 13:21] Ekaterina Urstein: nods<br />
2015/09/26 13:23] Ekaterina Urstein: in the meantime, it is open to any questions :)<br />
[2015/09/26 13:23] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: I love the discussion night here<br />
[2015/09/26 13:23] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: have been to some, but usually I am at work when they happen<br />
[2015/09/26 13:29] Fawn Starflare: Well We are at the tail end of one of my club chats.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:29] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: smiles and nods to Moni<br />
[2015/09/26 13:29] Fawn Starflare: We seem to have lost focus and the topics becoming more general.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:29] Wolf Vella: ah<br />
[2015/09/26 13:29] Ekaterina Urstein: well, the topic was about objectification<br />
[2015/09/26 13:30] Moni Pet feels like a lamp post<br />
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<br />
[2015/09/26 13:31] Moni's belt: whispers: lilly34bif1 Resident claps on Moni's buttocks<br />
[2015/09/26 13:31] Amanda DeLynn Cazalet chuckles<br />
[2015/09/26 13:31] Moni's belt: Moni cries out in ecstasy.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:31] Ekaterina Urstein: how it is used, how it enhances the relationships, for example, but it is sure, there are other topics related to that. It's not about breaking down anyone. It is about the golden rule: Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:35] Ekaterina Urstein: it agrees<br />
[2015/09/26 13:35] Ekaterina Urstein: it likes them too<br />
2015/09/26 13:39] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: how does being objectified further oneself??<br />
[2015/09/26 13:40] Ekaterina Urstein: mmmm<br />
[2015/09/26 13:40] Ekaterina Urstein: it is going to try to answer to that<br />
[2015/09/26 13:40] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: please do Eka<br />
[2015/09/26 13:41] Ekaterina Urstein: well, in its case, it's going closer and closer to the features of that object, and in the process being able to deliver closer and closer the features of that object<br />
[2015/09/26 13:44] Ekaterina Urstein: well, it answered :)<br />
[2015/09/26 13:44] Fawn Starflare: From my perspective it depends on the emotional and spiritual needs of the individual.<br />
[13:44] Fawn Starflare: my sextoy finds relief from the pressures of her RL. She sleeps better, is happier, is more refreshed when with her spouse and children. With playtoy (katya) being an object makes it easier to let go of control in public situations.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:45] Fawn Starflare: It need only worry about it's purpose and an object. 'It' does not have an ego to be bruised.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:45] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: "IT" meaning a table, chair, tree, what?? what features are you trying to identify with and how are you growing when you are a chair, table....object???<br />
[2015/09/26 13:45] Ekaterina Urstein: well, it depends on each case, Kay. It's up to each individual and appeals<br />
[2015/09/26 13:46] Freja FoxMaiden Riggles nods in agreement at Ekaterina<br />
[2015/09/26 13:46] Fawn Starflare: And in practice playtoy has found that this bolsters her self esteem, self worth, even her self-identity.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:47] Fawn Starflare: "self-" here means an attribute as you perceive it internally without reference to others.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:47] Fawn Starflare: Outsiders are fickle and do not judge objectively.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:47] Freja FoxMaiden Riggles: some like objectification as art-work, and some like it as tools, it depends<br />
[2015/09/26 13:47] A-Toy amazon: It's enough to keep me for a few days to a week at this time of year.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:47] Fawn Starflare: We become hurt or dejected or depressed because we think we do not have value in the eyes of others.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:48] Ekaterina Urstein: for example for its sextoy sis, the closer it feels to a sextoy with all the features of one, the happier it is, it felt.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:48] Fawn Starflare: However what is most important is your own confidence in your self. What you know yourself to be, etc.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:48] Ekaterina Urstein: hence its answer, it's valid for its own case too<br />
[2015/09/26 13:48] Fawn Starflare: And objectification for some helps work out some of this stuff.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:49] Ekaterina Urstein: nods in agreement to Goddess about her statements<br />
[2015/09/26 13:50] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: Moni is an objectification in herself<br />
[2015/09/26 13:50] Ekaterina Urstein: so, Kay, did it answer to your question ?<br />
[2015/09/26 13:50] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: I'm sorry to say, no it did not<br />
[2015/09/26 13:50] A-Toy amazon: Confidence with nothing to back it up is more like narcissism. It has to be paired with a certain amount of honest self evaluation. It's a balance that's difficult to hold sometimes.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:51] Fawn Starflare: Being that we get aroused by seeing toys forced to cum over and over.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:51] Ekaterina Urstein: well, it tried<br />
[2015/09/26 13:52] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: i try to imagine myself as a chair, I sit with my arms up, ready to hold yours up and you sit, it is hard for me to keep my own weight and yours up and I feel worse for not being able to do it.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:52] Fawn Starflare: So do mine<br />
[2015/09/26 13:53] Ekaterina Urstein: well, still, you would feel like a chair, which is a further step in the objectification<br />
[2015/09/26 13:53] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: yes, that is true Eka. A broken one<br />
[2015/09/26 13:54] Ekaterina Urstein: not necessarily. devices, bondage, can help for that<br />
[2015/09/26 13:54] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: if i could not hold "my wife" in this case scenario, up, what good am I??<br />
[2015/09/26 13:55] Freja FoxMaiden Riggles: oooh, but i'm light weighted, Mistress :))<br />
[2015/09/26 13:55] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: yes, you are my Love<br />
[2015/09/26 13:56] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS smiles and kisses your head softly<br />
[2015/09/26 13:55] Ekaterina Urstein: well, you talk about the worst case scenario<br />
[2015/09/26 13:55] Ekaterina Urstein: what about if you are able to do it ?<br />
[2015/09/26 13:55] A-Toy amazon: Well, making the effort can be valuable in itself, even if you fail.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:56] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: okay A-toy, I get it<br />
[2015/09/26 13:56] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: how do I grow then in this case<br />
[2015/09/26 13:56] Fawn Starflare: Success is not of much importance.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:56] Ekaterina Urstein: it's very personal, it's an inner quest<br />
[2015/09/26 13:56] Fawn Starflare: We learn mostly when we fail.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:56] A-Toy amazon: In RL, I am learning to play guitar - have been for some time. If I judged my playing against my heroes, I'd be embarrassed to even pick up the instrument.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:57] Fawn Starflare: Yep. Being an object narrows that focus.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:57] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: oh??<br />
[2015/09/26 13:57] Ekaterina Urstein: the object that suits you is deeply connected to your inner self<br />
[2015/09/26 13:57] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: I thought it would be practice<br />
[2015/09/26 13:58] Freja FoxMaiden Riggles: this inner quest may have much value for some, and may be a wrong path for others, as any D/s practice<br />
[2015/09/26 13:58] Fawn Starflare: A submissive's first task is to please her mistress. If I tell her to play for me, it only matters if I am moved by her performance, not if she sounds like Eric Clapton.<br />
[2015/09/26 13:58] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: I see Fawn. Now I get it<br />
[2015/09/26 13:59] Ekaterina Urstein: well, she asked how it is possible to grow from objectification, hence its answer about inner quest<br />
[2015/09/26 13:59] Freja FoxMaiden Riggles nods. IF this quest is appropriate<br />
[2015/09/26 13:59] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: my inner quest would be to be perfect for my Mistress, wife<br />
[2015/09/26 14:00] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: when failing, it would hurt me more than to cause me to try harder<br />
[2015/09/26 14:00] Fawn Starflare: When I told playtoy, a wonderful DJ, that she had to accept any sufficiently indecent offer made during her set, her first thought was of constant bruising of her RL ego. As my slave she wanted to please me and was not threatened by the opinions of others. She took that lesson, that she had intrinsic value, into her RL.<br />
[2015/09/26 14:00] Ekaterina Urstein: inner quest is deeply personal, intimate, hence its linked with others, anyways it is listening to its Goddess<br />
[2015/09/26 14:02] Ekaterina Urstein: or vision quest but it's an another topic. Yes, 'it' expressed its worries and concerns, but Goddess did reassure it and created a safe environment, it was a very valuable lesson.<br />
[2015/09/26 14:02] Fawn Starflare: Yes, and I am sure she finds it more agonizing than pleasurable by now!<br />
[2015/09/26 14:02] Fawn Starflare: Well, ladies. It is midnight for slut doll, and I have spent as much time sitting as is good for my back.<br />
[2015/09/26 14:02] AdaVenomiss: thank you, Miss Fawn<br />
[2015/09/26 14:03] Fawn Starflare: So lovely when you make them beg to stop cumming!<br />
[2015/09/26 14:03] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: I am richer for your ideas, views and values, having shared in the thoughts of others, thank you Fawn, your girls and all contributing tonight<br />
[2015/09/26 14:03] Fawn Starflare bows toward Kay.<br />
[2015/09/26 14:04] Fawn Starflare: Thank you, Kay. That is a very wonderful compliment.<br />
[2015/09/26 14:04] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS waves my hand to Fawn in an honorable way<br />
[2015/09/26 14:04] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: you deserve it fawn<br />
[2015/09/26 14:04] Freja FoxMaiden Riggles: Have a wonderful night, Miss Fawn<br />
[2015/09/26 14:04] ҠѦŶ FoxMaiden ℝίԌԌℒℰS: yes and a good weekend<br />
[2015/09/26 14:05] Ekaterina Urstein: Be well everyone, it loved the discussion today !cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-29732201865648454782015-09-20T19:22:00.001-07:002015-09-20T19:22:09.729-07:00The D/s Family- Discussion 9/19/15<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />[2015/09/19 11:55] Fawn Starflare: ¸„.-·~¹°”ˆ˜¨ I'll bet you'd love to be dominated, wouldn't you? ¨˜ˆ”°¹~·-.„¸<br />[2015/09/19 12:05] Fawn Starflare: Everyone, I am almost ready to start<br />[2015/09/19 12:05] Fawn Starflare: I have just been having RL and SL nerve problems.<br />[2015/09/19 12:05] Fawn Starflare: I think I am calmed down.<br />[2015/09/19 12:06] Fawn Starflare: As usual my toys have absorb the brunt of my upset, enabling me to move forward.<br />[2015/09/19 12:07] Fawn Starflare: I hate being like that, but we have achieve a level of coherence as a family, that everyone knows their roles and pulls their weight.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />[2015/09/19 12:10] Fawn Starflare: It is nice to see you here this morning.<br />[2015/09/19 12:10] Fawn Starflare: Or rather this noon.<br />[2015/09/19 12:10] gwen (sapphicfancy) smiles<br />[2015/09/19 12:10] Lillelise: ;-)<br />[2015/09/19 12:11] Fawn Starflare: playtoy, make sure you keep the whole transcript of our time here. Between you and me we should have a full transcript in the event of some problem<br />[2015/09/19 12:11] Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): yes Goddess<br />[2015/09/19 12:12] Fawn Starflare: Tessa has been reminding me for weeks that women are constantly asking when I will resume, so I finally said I will. I think my mind and body are up to the commitment, though I have to say, 15 minutes ago I was not sure.<br />[2015/09/19 12:13] Fawn Starflare: In real life, in Overeaters Anonymous I learned the 12-step verion of St. Assisi's serenity prayer...<br />[2015/09/19 12:13] Fawn Starflare: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,<br />[2015/09/19 12:13] Fawn Starflare: the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.<br />[2015/09/19 12:14] Fawn Starflare: It's been helping me stay centered.<br />[2015/09/19 12:15] Fawn Starflare: My family has grown that I now have three primary girls and other girls who play with us from time to time. ada, minxotix, and others.<br />[2015/09/19 12:15] Fawn Starflare: Most have seen me with slutdoll (dragony)<br />[2015/09/19 12:16] Fawn Starflare: slutdoll is in red.<br />[2015/09/19 12:17] Fawn Starflare: In black is sextoy, whose outfit when I met her in this room inspired the dress of the remainder of my toys,<br />[2015/09/19 12:17] Fawn Starflare: And In chocolate is my most recent addition, playtoy.<br />[2015/09/19 12:22] Fawn Starflare: Now in my family, my girls are completely objectified. They love it, I get off on the control. and Sextoy has begged to always be an IT, never an I.<br />[2015/09/19 12:23] Dangling Sextoy nods eagerly<br />[2015/09/19 12:23] Fawn Starflare: Every family will evolve in it's own way. to meet the needs of the the Mistress and the submissives.<br />[2015/09/19 12:25] Fawn Starflare: We find that sextoy is the opposite of a feminist. She desires to be nothing more than three holes and two tits to be used by her goddess and whomever her Goddess permits. And as an object, a sex toy object, it has no feelings that needed to be considered while it is being used,<br />[2015/09/19 12:25] A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury) smiles<br />[2015/09/19 12:26] Fawn Starflare: So it is living in SL a common fantasy. Having become something with the form of a human woman but with only the purpose of doing chores and serving as a toy of sexual amusement,<br />[2015/09/19 12:26] Fawn Starflare: sextoy, sleep well and enjoy your family. It is dismissed.<br />[2015/09/19 12:27] Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): Sleep well, sweet dreams sis :)<br />[2015/09/19 12:27] Dangling Sextoy moans happily and slips off to sleep<br />[2015/09/19 12:27] Fawn Starflare: Hi wendi and all those I did not previously greet.<br />[2015/09/19 12:27] Fawn Starflare: I see many girls here I have yet to meet.<br />[2015/09/19 12:29] Ellen Cordeaux: ㋡<br />[2015/09/19 12:30] Fawn Starflare: I have a couple of paragraphs from a letter I wrote to my girls this past week. It expresses a style and balance that has finally given me what I desire... A stable family with multiple slaves and occasional visiting members, who are all fiercely loyal first to me, and secondly to each other.<br />[2015/09/19 12:30] Fawn Starflare: It's taken me decades to learn how to do this.<br />[2015/09/19 12:30] Fawn Starflare: So this sort of expresses the how of it.<br />[2015/09/19 12:31] Fawn Starflare: ==================<br />[2015/09/19 12:31] Fawn Starflare: It is always good to use a toy for the purpose for which it was designed and built. I have crafted my toys to behave like promiscuous sluts, leaky cunts, and as devices to be harshly fucked. It is always nice when I find the raw materials mostly in this state, it minimizes the time to craft and train the toy. This is important as each is unique and has different "care and feeding" requirements.<br />[2015/09/19 12:31] Fawn Starflare: I am very careful when I talk about my toys and the raw materials from which they are crafted. Theirs is not a political state of being. The raw material does not deserve this treatment, nor is it useless for anything else. It is not lower than me, dumber than me, less capable. Being a sextoy, having all the rest trimmed away, except the purpose and use it most desires. This is the task of the owner/trainer/toy maker.<br />[2015/09/19 12:32] Fawn Starflare: A sextoy is three holes and two breasts on what otherwise appears to be a human female, but has no feelings or limits to consider.<br />[2015/09/19 12:32] Fawn Starflare: ==================<br />[2015/09/19 12:32] Fawn Starflare: A bit to read. I will give you a little time while I write out one other thing<br />[2015/09/19 12:34] Fawn Starflare: It has always been my belief that in a D/s relationship the business and effort required to create a stable, loving, intimate human relationship is 100% necessary<br />[2015/09/19 12:34] Fawn Starflare: My family members and I have independently come to the conclusion that the base human relationship is what we most desire.<br />[2015/09/19 12:35] Fawn Starflare: However, we also know that we desperately desire the D/s structure, and allow this D/s role to be the organizing principle of out family.<br />[2015/09/19 12:35] Fawn Starflare: our family<br />[2015/09/19 12:35] Fawn Starflare: =======================<br />[2015/09/19 12:36] Fawn Starflare: So that's what we strive for. So the trick is being able to have a solid relationship with other women. I love to take care of them and fulfill their fantasies, and the feeling and actions are reciprocated.<br />[2015/09/19 12:37] Fawn Starflare: So now, let's open the floor for questions and answers, YOUR IDEAS and needs, question about how we make certain things work, etc.<br />[2015/09/19 12:37] Fawn Starflare: We want to share what we have learned together.<br />[2015/09/19 12:38] Fawn Starflare: waits quietly<br />[2015/09/19 12:40] Fawn Starflare: No questions?<br />[2015/09/19 12:40] Fawn Starflare: Is it the consensus you just want to listen?<br />[2015/09/19 12:40] gwen (sapphicfancy) smiles and listens<br />[2015/09/19 12:41] Ellen Cordeaux is just hangin out. *winks<br />[2015/09/19 12:41] Cyndy (dayzeemai): Fawn I found this most interesting because I think I share your precepts but have a different perspective on the D/S relationship. For me I don't want a toy, but a sub who adores me and needs to have my attention to fulfill herself. I think you said earlier that families evolve to meet the needs of the participants, and I conclude that those needs can be quite different<br />[2015/09/19 12:41] Wendy Maruti: How would you handle the desire for a strict D/s relationship with also being a shoulder to lean on regarding SL/RL issues?<br />[2015/09/19 12:42] Fawn Starflare: This is a daily issue for us, Wendy.<br />[2015/09/19 12:43] Fawn Starflare: For example at 61 I have health issue and emotional issues (I am also bipolar) that effects the family. They give me real support, encouragement, nuzzling to calm me and help me go on.<br />[2015/09/19 12:43] Fawn Starflare: In the same way we come together to try to support, occasional aid, any hurting family member.<br />[2015/09/19 12:45] Fawn Starflare: What I have found is that the love I share with each girl individually, is then shared between the girls themselves.<br />[2015/09/19 12:45] Fawn Starflare: I have seen jealousies in families and been jealous when I was a slave in a large family.<br />[2015/09/19 12:45] Fawn Starflare: However I see a D/s relationship as a collaboration.<br />[2015/09/19 12:46] Fawn Starflare: In my mind to be a responsible Mistress (I have come to prefer Goddess)....<br />[2015/09/19 12:47] Fawn Starflare: It is part of my job to know each of my girls extremely well. Externally it might seem I treat the girls identically, but in they have different emotional and spiritual needs. They have different motivations for liking what they like.<br />[2015/09/19 12:47] Fawn Starflare: Their job is to be transparent, to show me everything.<br />[2015/09/19 12:48] Fawn Starflare: My job is to learn to take their desires, knead them together with my needs, and come up with a line of actions that suits my needs first, but does it in a way that my girls need, individually and severally, are satisfied.<br />[2015/09/19 12:49] Fawn Starflare: In this I think it's just like dating or any other family.<br />[2015/09/19 12:49] Fawn Starflare: When momma and poppa can allow the children to follow their needs and dreams and find ways to support that, the family works much better,<br />[2015/09/19 12:50] Fawn Starflare: I wish I could explain how I do this mixing. It is mostly done at an unconscious, intuitive level.<br />[2015/09/19 12:50] Fawn Starflare: Several things are needed.<br />[2015/09/19 12:51] Fawn Starflare: I need to constantly remind the girls that I own them.<br />[2015/09/19 12:51] Fawn Starflare: I have to name and call them in ways that do this. I need to remind them that my needs come first.<br />[2015/09/19 12:51] Fawn Starflare: But the reality, for me, they come first.<br />[2015/09/19 12:52] Fawn Starflare: I care for each very deeply, and go out of my way to see each is taken care of.<br />[2015/09/19 12:53] Fawn Starflare: People ask me, "What did that girl do to deserve that treatment." and My response is "That is a reward, it is what she needs and desires to be happy."<br />[2015/09/19 12:54] Fawn Starflare: Something that helps us that I learned by watching other Dommes is that ritual is important.<br />[2015/09/19 12:55] Fawn Starflare: When my girls meet me for the first time after an absence it is always "Hello Goddess" and maybe a "Welcome back."<br />[2015/09/19 12:55] Fawn Starflare: Then there is the kissing of the feet.<br />[2015/09/19 12:55] Fawn Starflare: And then Each of them writes her own pledge to me and recites it.<br />[2015/09/19 12:55] Fawn Starflare: slutdoll and playtoy, please share you pledges with the group.<br />[2015/09/19 12:56] Fawn Starflare: Excuse me as I make sure they are awake<br />[2015/09/19 12:56] Fawn Starflare: ]¦•¦[ Prepare to suffer! ]¦•¦[<br />[2015/09/19 12:56] Fawn Starflare: ¸„.-·~¹°”ˆ˜¨ I'll bet you'd love to be dominated, wouldn't you? ¨˜ˆ”°¹~·-.„¸<br />[2015/09/19 12:56] Fawn Starflare: ·´)› Here's your punishment ‹(`·<br />[2015/09/19 12:56] A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury): i belong to you, my Goddess, and exist to obey your every whim! ♥<br />[2015/09/19 12:56] Fawn Starflare: and playtoy?<br />[2015/09/19 12:56] A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury): also i emit murr like this<br />[2015/09/19 12:57] A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury): *mauRuu*<br />[2015/09/19 12:57] Fawn Starflare smiles<br />[2015/09/19 12:57] A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury): and kiss Goddess' boots =^,,^=<br />[2015/09/19 12:57] Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): yes Goddess, here is its pledge "Greetings Goddess, your playtoy belongs to you, it exists to fulfill any of your whims. Your will is its breath, your pleasure its heavens"<br />[2015/09/19 12:57] Fawn Starflare pets her head and scratches her ears.<br />[2015/09/19 12:57] Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit) purrs very happily<br />[2015/09/19 12:57] Fawn Starflare pets playtoy's head.<br />[2015/09/19 12:57] Fawn Starflare: This ritual is important.<br />[2015/09/19 12:58] Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit) beams inside of its hood<br />[2015/09/19 12:58] Fawn Starflare: It instantly establishes that this is not everyday, go to work behavior.<br />[2015/09/19 12:58] Fawn Starflare: It creates, begins a period of time where D/s defines every action.<br />[2015/09/19 12:58] A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury) purrs loudly<br />[2015/09/19 12:58] A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury): puRrrRrRrrrrRrr<br />[2015/09/19 12:59] Fawn Starflare: They get to feel like they are slaves, toys, sluts, leaky cunts, or whatever.<br />[2015/09/19 12:59] Fawn Starflare: They obey me and do not question, yet a burning issue in RL is allowed to take precedence.<br />[2015/09/19 13:00] Fawn Starflare: We do not scene immediately, but sit around and chatter what is happening for each.<br />[2015/09/19 13:00] Fawn Starflare: The girls may tease and chatter with each other, but their eyes are on me.<br />[2015/09/19 13:01] Fawn Starflare: And that Ritual, is what puts them in the right frame of mind, and as a Domme I am in the right frame of mind.<br />[2015/09/19 13:01] Fawn Starflare: I love the level of submission, the amount of control I am given in each of those pledges.<br />[2015/09/19 13:03] Fawn Starflare: Devising ritual is a pain. I worked out mine based on watching Eli and her first owner, Saja. Eli's pledge was quite beautiful, but it took a while to understand what made a good pledge and what didn't.<br />[2015/09/19 13:03] Fawn Starflare: And over the years I have come to learn that slutdoll's pledge<br />[2015/09/19 13:03] Fawn Starflare: [12:56] A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury): i belong to you, my Goddess, and exist to obey your every whim! ♥<br />[2015/09/19 13:04] Fawn Starflare: Says more than I realized at first.<br />[2015/09/19 13:04] A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury) smiles<br />[2015/09/19 13:04] A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury): i did put quite a thought into it =^,,^=<br />[2015/09/19 13:04] Fawn Starflare: When she says she exists for me, it is a powerful statement of love and devotion.<br />[2015/09/19 13:04] A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury) nodnods<br />[2015/09/19 13:05] Fawn Starflare: You, did, slut. You know how much that pleases me.<br />[2015/09/19 13:06] Fawn Starflare: We also have a leave taking ritual.<br />[2015/09/19 13:06] A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury) nods<br />[2015/09/19 13:07] Fawn Starflare: Many, not all, subs are comforted by the physical presence of a strong leash tethering them to each other or their Mistress.<br />[2015/09/19 13:07] Fawn Starflare: My toys all understand the command "heal":<br />[2015/09/19 13:08] Fawn Starflare: I can literally weld them to myself with a word.<br />[2015/09/19 13:08] Fawn Starflare: However, the leash is like a child's security blanket.<br />[2015/09/19 13:09] Fawn Starflare: It is a symbol as well as a tool.<br />[2015/09/19 13:09] Fawn Starflare: It proclaims their loyalty and commitment.<br />[2015/09/19 13:10] Fawn Starflare: This is just one of an infinity of tiny things we Mistresses do to provide reminders to our girls and ourselves.<br />[2015/09/19 13:12] Fawn Starflare: And when they take leave, they have become used to being heavily gagged and then having a full hood tightly sealing them in. They are blind, deaf, and dumb.<br />[2015/09/19 13:12] Fawn Starflare: And this is my preference, something I loved in RL.<br />[2015/09/19 13:13] Fawn Starflare: And most SL residents hate blindness.<br />[2015/09/19 13:13] Fawn Starflare: Unlike RL, blindness here blocks awareness of everything,<br />[2015/09/19 13:13] Fawn Starflare: So we have to have ways to mitigate this.<br />[2015/09/19 13:14] Fawn Starflare: In my role play I become highly descriptive of what they smell and bump into, how the impact feels.<br />[2015/09/19 13:15] Fawn Starflare: I describe the sounds around them, the smells, the temperature, etc.<br />[2015/09/19 13:15] Fawn Starflare: This takes away much of the fear of blindness.<br />[2015/09/19 13:16] Fawn Starflare: The three of my toys have all come to love what we call, "the Dark Silence"<br />[2015/09/19 13:16] Fawn Starflare: Indeed in RL dragon sleeps this way every Friday and Saturday night.<br />[2015/09/19 13:16] Fawn Starflare: They are also tightly bound before they go.<br />[2015/09/19 13:17] A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury) smiles<br />[2015/09/19 13:17] Fawn Starflare: The bindings and the hood and gag are surrogates for me, their Goddess surrounding, touching, and protecting themselves<br />[2015/09/19 13:18] Fawn Starflare: When they return to SL, they have this experience they have to figure out<br />[2015/09/19 13:19] Fawn Starflare: that they are in the Dark Silence, possibly alone, They are unable to move or see or talk.<br />[2015/09/19 13:20] Fawn Starflare: And they know I am holding them, comforting them, and they find they can wait for me.<br />[2015/09/19 13:20] Fawn Starflare: I force no one into that situation.<br />[2015/09/19 13:20] Fawn Starflare: Each found their own love of it in their desire to please me.<br />[2015/09/19 13:21] Fawn Starflare: So leaving and entering SL are a consequence of this ritual.<br />[2015/09/19 13:22] Fawn Starflare: You know I should point out that I learn from my girls and they from me. We shape each other.<br />[2015/09/19 13:23] Fawn Starflare: I no longer have hesitance about simply hitting, slapping, groping, any of them without warning.<br />[2015/09/19 13:24] Fawn Starflare: They have made it very, very clear that they are happiest when I simply follow my impulses and do what I want to them, when I want, without any warning.<br />[2015/09/19 13:25] Fawn Starflare: And I glory in the power of it. They glory in the unpredictability and helplessness of it.<br />[2015/09/19 13:25] Fawn Starflare: But this happens because we spend more time talking and holding each other than doing BDSM stuff.<br />[2015/09/19 13:26] Fawn Starflare: Every family finds its own balance.<br />[2015/09/19 13:26] Fawn Starflare: With dragon, she has been by my side almost every day now for over 3.5 years!<br />[2015/09/19 13:26] Fawn Starflare: It amazes me.<br />[2015/09/19 13:28] Fawn Starflare: I often wonder if I am a proper Mistress. I want to make them happy, I love creating and amplifying orgasms, cuddling and holding and teasing them.<br />[2015/09/19 13:28] A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury)e smiles<br />[2015/09/19 13:29] Fawn Starflare: and so much else that is just plain vanilla relationship stuff, except that I always remember to throw in a word or an action to remind them of the family structure, who's in charge, who is not.<br />[2015/09/19 13:29] Fawn Starflare: So it is the collaboration I spoke of.<br />[2015/09/19 13:30] Fawn Starflare: My goal is to help each of my girls become the slave she wants to be, and at the same time grow her self esteem, self confidence, and ability to choose for themselves.<br />[2015/09/19 13:31] Fawn Starflare: You know how you help a person can be very strange in our world<br />[2015/09/19 13:32] Wendy Maruti: I think there's no such thing as a "Proper mistress" and always correct people if they doubt themselves as one. You are an individual mistress with your own kinks, fantasies, and relationships and that makes you individual. Trying to assert yourself into a "Proper mistress" by someone else's standards or one you saw on TV/online generally doesn't go well from what I've seen over the years.<br />[2015/09/19 13:33] Fawn Starflare: Amen to that.<br />[2015/09/19 13:33] Fawn Starflare: And that is what my girls say to me.<br />[2015/09/19 13:33] Fawn Starflare: What I realized is that we are all playing roles.<br />[2015/09/19 13:33] Fawn Starflare: In RL or in SL.<br />[2015/09/19 13:33] Fawn Starflare: If I admire another Domme, what is it I admire. It's not whether she truly is a sadist, which would scare the latex off me.<br />[2015/09/19 13:34] Fawn Starflare: But can she play a sadist.<br />[2015/09/19 13:34] Fawn Starflare: Can I make my girls terrified of what I might do while not actually doing much at all.<br />[2015/09/19 13:35] Fawn Starflare: so when we compare to each other we have to remember we are trying to compare to a fantasy.<br />[2015/09/19 13:35] Fawn Starflare: We tend to forget it's mostly RP except for the business of who gets to say, "shut up and behave."<br />[2015/09/19 13:37] Fawn Starflare: So that's what I am really sharing, relationship skills and how I create the paradox of my girls feeling in great danger while at the same time knowing they are completely safe,<br />[2015/09/19 13:37] Fawn Starflare: The Paradox of Consensual BDSM.<br />[2015/09/19 13:37] Fawn Starflare: And I have been talking for 90 minutes.<br />[2015/09/19 13:38] Fawn Starflare: I think that's enough for one day, but my girls and I are happy to answer questions.<br />[2015/09/19 13:39] Fawn Starflare: And I will add, that we will be here Saturday at noon provided my health permits and my girls are helping to ensure my health will permit!<br />[2015/09/19 13:40] Fawn Starflare: You know Carla's slave elisandra is the source of my family using these pledges,<br />[2015/09/19 13:40] Fawn Starflare: I was jealous of her beautiful pledge to Saja years ago. And Now Carla receives that pledge.<br />[2015/09/19 13:41] Carla Putnam (cyberspy): smiles<br />[2015/09/19 13:41] Fawn Starflare: It's good to see eli on a leash and also destiny.<br />[2015/09/19 13:41] Cidri Katz: It is odd how heartwarming it can be to see a girl contentedly leashed<br />[2015/09/19 13:41] Destiny (devils666destiny): kitty loves being on the leash<br />[2015/09/19 13:41] Cyndy (dayzeemai): Thank you Fawn I found that most enlightening and would add that I am most impressed by your stamina in managing such a large family. Do you think a large family works better than a small one?<br />[2015/09/19 13:42] Fawn Starflare: I ran into minxotix the other day, and put her on leash and locked her up so she could have the pleasure of not having a choice about it.<br />[2015/09/19 13:42] Fawn Starflare: Cyndy, I do not know. I am very careful in adding new girls.<br />[2015/09/19 13:43] Fawn Starflare: I prize loyalty and predictability. I want a girl who is intelligent has self esteem, and can be online at the times she says.<br />[2015/09/19 13:43] Cyndy (dayzeemai): And do you find some girls fail to make the grade?<br />[2015/09/19 13:43] Fawn Starflare: I found that with dragon and my need to collect girls vanished.<br />[2015/09/19 13:43] Carla Putnam (cyberspy): I've had large families and now a small one. I think I rather prefer the small<br />[2015/09/19 13:44] Fawn Starflare: I could have stopped there, and for most that is ideal, one top, one bottom.<br />[2015/09/19 13:44] Fawn Starflare: I add girls under the following conditions,<br />[2015/09/19 13:44] Fawn Starflare: The new girls must be accepted by all the current girls.<br />[2015/09/19 13:44] Fawn Starflare: The current girls have to feel the new one will not drain me.<br />[2015/09/19 13:45] Fawn Starflare: Will not require too much of my limited resources.<br />[2015/09/19 13:45] Fawn Starflare: I have to agree with them.<br />[2015/09/19 13:45] Fawn Starflare: If that happens we slowly bring the new woman in and see what happens.<br />[2015/09/19 13:45] Fawn Starflare: But with three girls that are with me all the time, I am close to my limit.<br />[2015/09/19 13:46] Wolf Vella: odd i've never wanted more than one<br />[2015/09/19 13:46] Fawn Starflare: so a large family can work, but it is very hard.<br />[2015/09/19 13:46] Cidri Katz: We're all different there<br />[2015/09/19 13:46] Fawn Starflare: I think the moslems are right on setting max wives at four.<br />[2015/09/19 13:46] Fawn Starflare: They have similar rules built in.<br />[2015/09/19 13:46] Carla Putnam (cyberspy): I did the large family for 1 1/2 years very effectively, but was getting chronic fatigue over it<br />[2015/09/19 13:46] Fawn Starflare: Few can handle more than one and occasional visitors.<br />[2015/09/19 13:47] Fawn Starflare: The same, carla.<br />[2015/09/19 13:47] Wolf Vella: actually one lets me focus on her, and my home is not big enough for more than 2<br />[2015/09/19 13:47] Fawn Starflare: Now all my girls feel they are getting enough individual quality time, and I do not feel drained.<br />[2015/09/19 13:47] Carla Putnam (cyberspy): and it hurts to let them go. At least one of them is with a good friend now and we are friends as well<br />[2015/09/19 13:47] Cyndy (dayzeemai): I'm not sure girls appreciate how demanding it is for the Mistress<br />[2015/09/19 13:48] Fawn Starflare: Most don't<br />[2015/09/19 13:48] Wolf Vella: most girls don't think they want us to think for them<br />[2015/09/19 13:48] Fawn Starflare: In RL it is different, because each girl has her real service chores to fulfill as well as the kinky sex stuff.<br />[2015/09/19 13:49] Fawn Starflare: Dragon, it's almost midnight Friday night for you.<br />[2015/09/19 13:49] Wolf Vella: i have a cat irl so she's the boss<br />[2015/09/19 13:50] Fawn Starflare: I want you spread eagle through the night with a tight rope waist-belt, and many passes over your cunt.<br />[2015/09/19 13:50] Fawn Starflare: In the morning I am likely to tease for some time before letting you cum.<br />[2015/09/19 13:50] Fawn Starflare: Understand, slutdoll?<br />[2015/09/19 13:51] Fawn Starflare: ((This is a necessary Friday night ritual))<br />[2015/09/19 13:51] Wendy Maruti: Most submissives come in to SL with no clue and some still have no clue how demanding it can be for a domme.<br />[2015/09/19 13:51] Fawn Starflare: They expect us to be on creating a new story 20 times a day.<br />[2015/09/19 13:51] Fawn Starflare: And many are like RL lovers who lay there and never moan or give you feedback.<br />[2015/09/19 13:52] Fawn Starflare: I train them to RP as I want them to.<br />[2015/09/19 13:52] Fawn Starflare: Training a sub is in large part training her to be comfortable with her feelings<br />[2015/09/19 13:53] Fawn Starflare: comfortable enough to be able to name and describe them. And give them to her owner.<br />[2015/09/19 13:53] Fawn Starflare: Training a girl to do this is not easy. The best Dommes manage it somehow.<br />[2015/09/19 13:56] Fawn Starflare: Miana is now owned by Saja, a very good domme to try to emulate. I served her for a while for that purpose.<br />[2015/09/19 13:56] Fawn Starflare: Cyndy, have we answered your question?<br />[2015/09/19 14:04] Cyndy (dayzeemai): Yes thank you Fawn<br />[2015/09/19 14:01] Wendy Maruti: Quick question Fawn. How would you approach it if you were attracted to someone as a domme but they had personality differences to your preferences. Like a bratty submissive or one that did not like hoods. How does a domme work around it?<br />[2015/09/19 14:01] Fawn Starflare: Ouch. That's tough.<br />[2015/09/19 14:01] Fawn Starflare: I and my girls deal with this from time to time.<br />[2015/09/19 14:02] Fawn Starflare: I am happy to have a girl with other desires.<br />[2015/09/19 14:02] Wendy Maruti: Oh and I can toss that to every other domme in the room as well. Interested to hear opinions on that<br />[2015/09/19 14:02] Fawn Starflare: But the domme and her girls have to have a clear sense of what they need.<br />[2015/09/19 14:03] Fawn Starflare: Ultimately if I have the control I need to be aroused and kept interested. I'm good. But she must fit with the existing girls.<br />[2015/09/19 14:04] Fawn Starflare: Sometimes I will play with someone like that on the side, but cautiously and with the idea it's not going to be permanent<br />[2015/09/19 14:04] A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury) nuzzles to Goddess' boot before poofing off<br />[2015/09/19 14:05] Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): Sweet dreams sis, sleep tight :)<br />[2015/09/19 14:05] Carla Putnam (cyberspy): same here. Temp play perhaps but long term they have to be very close to what I like, That is why I always do a Collar of Consideration in the beginning for a while.<br />[2015/09/19 14:05] Fawn Starflare: a.k.a. Trial collar or trial period.<br />[2015/09/19 14:06] Fawn Starflare: In the last two months since taking in playtoy I have gotten very upfront about protecting my family.<br />[2015/09/19 14:06] Fawn Starflare: I am easily seduced by the conquest of a new woman. But my family is sacrosanct.<br />[2015/09/19 14:07] Cidri Katz nods to that<br />[2015/09/19 14:07] Fawn Starflare: There must be a unanimous vote to bring in a new family member<br />[2015/09/19 14:08] Fawn Starflare: I have to go very soon ladies and girls.<br />[2015/09/19 14:08] Fawn Starflare: I am starting to doze off as I type. a sign this aging lady needs to rest.<br />[2015/09/19 14:08] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): I think there's a bit of give and take involved. If you tried to make every girl conform to a rigid idea of "what a sub should be", even if you managed it, all you'd end up doing is surrounding yourself with girls all striving to be as similar to each other as possible. The differences between submissives can be celebrated. But that only goes so far. If someone has traits that turn you off, and those traits are a core part of who they are, even if you manage to get them to change, it will always be a tension as they desire to return to what is more 'normal' for them.<br />[2015/09/19 14:10] Fawn Starflare: Teann, I try to emphasize how different every girl is. I want each to be unique (the one one of its kind).<br />[2015/09/19 14:10] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): /me nods and smiles<br />[2015/09/19 14:10] Fawn Starflare: What I find is that while outwardly they conform, I am dealing with different psychologies. So how I talk to and motivate each of my toys is quite different.<br />[2015/09/19 14:10] Fawn Starflare: They have different needs and different motivations.<br />[2015/09/19 14:11] Fawn Starflare: And I have learned to respond to this in a deep intuitive (non-conscious) level.<br />[2015/09/19 14:11] Cidri Katz: So when you say things like "subs are like this", you only mean that this is a trend, and that you need to get to know each one to know that individual?<br />[2015/09/19 14:11] Fawn Starflare: I thank you all for continuing to ask me to resume these chats. I hope we can do this every week.<br />[2015/09/19 14:11] Cidri Katz smiles<br />[2015/09/19 14:12] Cidri Katz: Its nice to get a feeling for the community here<br />[2015/09/19 14:12] Fawn Starflare: /me stand and bows to the women and girls presence.<br />[2015/09/19 14:12] Cyndy (dayzeemai): Really enjoyed the discussion Fawn and looking forward to the next one<br />[2015/09/19 14:12] Fawn Starflare: Again I thank you all for being a supportive audience<br />[2015/09/19 14:12] Cyndy (dayzeemai) applauds<br />[2015/09/19 14:13] Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter) claps politely and smiles<br />[2015/09/19 14:13] Cidri Katz applauds, but quietly<br />[2015/09/19 14:13] Fawn Starflare waves and blows a kiss to each before leaving<br />[2015/09/19 14:13] gwen (sapphicfancy): I'll be here next week Miss Fawn<br />[2015/09/19 14:14] Astrid Lednev courteously applauds as well.<br />[2015/09/19 14:14] Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): It wishes all the best for everybody :)<br />cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-87394764039437491912015-07-01T08:36:00.002-07:002015-07-01T08:37:04.499-07:00New Submissive Training week 3<br />
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Week 3: Collars, PE and TPE<br />
<br />
1) What is PE and TPE? When do they apply?<br />
2) Protective Collar<br />
3) Training/trial/Consideration Collar<br />
4) Full Collar<br />
a) What is the message?<br />
b) What are the responsibilities? <br />
c) Ownership and knowing your place<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
[17:03] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so what is Power Exchange and Total Power Exchange in the lifestyle?<br />
[17:03] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): you can throw in comments :)<br />
[17:04] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): what does Power Exchange mean?<br />
[17:04] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): this is when rhonda says hand contact with an outlet<br />
[17:04] Jennifer (kayemmeee) laughs<br />
[17:05] Rhonda.Lebed (birhonda): keeps the big mouth shut<br />
[17:05] Rhonda.Lebed (birhonda): uses a fork<br />
[17:05] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): Power Exchange is submission, obedience<br />
[17:06] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): when we refer to the distinction between submissives and slaves we use terms like Formal PE or Total PE<br />
[17:06] Carmen Mint sits quietly not to disturb<br />
[17:06] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i want to hear from you too, Carmen!<br />
[17:07] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i have also heard of velcro PE / collar :)<br />
[17:07] Carmen Mint smiles, ohh you can't keep me quiet, lol<br />
[17:07] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): haha woot<br />
[17:07] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): velcro collar is just for sex play and is not about D/s relationship<br />
[17:08] Jennifer (kayemmeee): I think, Tessa, that we might have arrived here at the right time.......With this being a talk on collars (among other things)....<br />
[17:08] MissLitaJ: Well you can use anything as a collar<br />
[17:08] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): o excellent<br />
[17:08] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): these are what the collar represents<br />
[17:08] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): with the submissive (Formal PE) terms discussed and written wants, needs, and expectations (ask for clarification)<br />
[17:09] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): a submissive can ask questions<br />
[17:10] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): with the Total PE M/s (cannot ask, just do), the Mistress writes the contract<br />
[17:10] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): For a slave, submission is the default ... expected.<br />
[17:10] Rhonda.Lebed (birhonda): hands slaves a union card<br />
[17:10] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): as i think we are submissives here... to be clear, For the sub, submission is an on-going gift based on informed decision-making.<br />
[17:11] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): yes there are submissive rights<br />
[17:11] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): you should never be abused<br />
[17:12] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): Miss Tina Verne shared this: A submissive make choices daily and fully takes part with what is happening in the household and communicates her thoughts and desires to her Mistress. She passes control to the dominant but retains power, A slave makes only one choice, to pass all power and control to the dominant.<br />
[17:13] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): in all exchanges of power, Communication is essential<br />
[17:13] Carmen Mint: rule#1 Mistress is always right,,Rule#2 if Mistress might be mistaken,, refer to rule#1<br />
[17:14] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): ok there are several kinds of collars<br />
[17:16] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so can someone summarise the difference between TPE and PE?<br />
[17:16] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): or slave and sub?<br />
[17:17] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): (puts out my cricket cages)<br />
[17:17] Sabrina Gagliano: I'm still very new to all this... I never even heard of TPE and PE...<br />
[17:17] Jennifer (kayemmeee): Yes - subs have choices, options, decisions to influence things. Slaves don`t.<br />
[17:18] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): ahh well what happens when you accept a collar is to give up your control<br />
[17:18] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): there is a power exchange<br />
[17:20] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so now we can ask which collar....<br />
[17:20] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): there is a "velcro" collar for sex play when you are top and bottom<br />
[17:23] Carmen Mint: an open collar is also often used by unowned slaves to give limited access to potential owners<br />
[17:21] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): then there is the protective collar<br />
[17:21] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): it is an open collar, not locked<br />
[17:21] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): what is the purpose?<br />
[17:22] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): protect newbies from themselves so we don't rush into things "sub-frenzy"<br />
[17:22] Rhonda.Lebed (birhonda): if its open how can it be protective?<br />
[17:22] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): you can play with whomever, but you are responsible to the Domme for bigger choices<br />
[17:22] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): this can be the case of a pet<br />
[17:23] Rhonda.Lebed (birhonda): ok<br />
[17:23] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): or like chrisa and i after we were married<br />
[17:23] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): the status is in the profile<br />
[17:23] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): and if someone has issues, then the Domme answers it<br />
[17:25] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): not a lot of Dommes will offer protection<br />
[17:25] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): The next set is like an engagement period<br />
[17:26] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): it is either a training, trial or consideration collar<br />
[17:27] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): what is the purpose?<br />
[17:28] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): a training collar is when a Miss agrees to train a noob :)<br />
[17:28] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): this may lead to a full collar but it doesn't have to<br />
[17:29] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): a trial or consideration collar means "I want to spend more time with you", more committed - not on the market<br />
[17:30] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): these are again not locked collars, and there is a time limit<br />
[17:30] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): trial collars are minimum 2 weeks and more like 3-4 weeks<br />
[17:30] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): this is when you find out if you fit each other<br />
[17:31] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): time zones, style of bdsm, friends etc<br />
[17:31] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i would say most close relationships in here hit a wall around week 3<br />
[17:32] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): During this time, there is more specific training - what does surrendering to them mean; get to know others in household<br />
[17:32] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): question on those collars?<br />
[17:32] Mermaid Stormcrow sips my tea and listens to the discusssion<br />
[17:33] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): and finally the BIG one: Full collar<br />
[17:33] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): remember you as the submissive have a gift<br />
[17:33] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): and you are giving your collar to the Miss<br />
[17:34] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): she will then become your Mistress<br />
[17:34] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i like to have a ceremony for this<br />
[17:34] Rhonda.Lebed (birhonda): can I askl a question?<br />
[17:34] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): yes :)<br />
[17:35] Rhonda.Lebed (birhonda): can you define what fully submit means i seem to be unable to understand it<br />
[17:36] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): well for me it is to give up your will<br />
[17:36] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): trust your Mistress<br />
[17:35] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): Carmen?<br />
[17:36] Carmen Mint: when I submit to a Mistress, I offer my mind, body, spirit, and soul to her care, to be devoted , honest, and loyal to her<br />
[17:37] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): tada<br />
[17:37] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): these ol' timers are soo good at this<br />
[17:37] Rhonda.Lebed (birhonda): sounds like it means being a slave with no free will or say in anything any longer<br />
[17:37] Carmen Mint: and a word on consensual slavery, it is not as rigid as Tessa may have made it sound<br />
[17:37] Carmen Mint: most owners have a give and take with their slaves as well as thier subs, although Mistresses word is always the final one<br />
[17:37] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i will put out Miss Tina's comment again: A submissive make choices daily and fully takes part with what is happening in the household and communicates her thoughts and desires to her Mistress. She passes control to the dominant but retains power, A slave makes only one choice, to pass all power and control to the dominant.<br />
[17:38] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): each dynamic is different though<br />
[17:39] Carmen Mint: Slaves are also allowed to state limits as subs are also<br />
[17:39] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so it is more on a continuum then all or nothing<br />
[17:40] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i think it's important to have a wise Mistress who caringly and carefully learns our strengths and weaknesses<br />
[17:40] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): does that help you, rhonda?<br />
[17:40] Sabrina Gagliano: I'm not in a 24/7 Dom/sub relationship; I like BDSM, but to me it's 'just' an important part of my sex life, not of my whóle life...<br />
[17:41] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): ok<br />
[17:41] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i'll address that in just a bit<br />
[17:41] Mermaid Stormcrow nods...that's understandable<br />
[17:43] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so what are the elements of a full collar?<br />
[17:43] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): time - to get to know each other<br />
[17:44] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): respect - submission is a gift, and without that gift the Domme has no purpose<br />
[17:45] Carmen Mint: it should also be said that it is not a gift to be given lightly<br />
[17:45] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): yes truly carmen<br />
[17:45] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): trust - when one gives up power, one must trust hugely<br />
[17:45] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): and over all this is Communication<br />
[17:46] Carmen Mint: it should be a serious matter of the utmost respect<br />
[17:46] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): when i was in this class, i said that i thought it took faith too<br />
[17:46] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): Faith that they care about me, my happiness matters to them<br />
[17:47] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): that Their decisions are in my best interest<br />
[17:47] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): that i am a treasured possession<br />
[17:48] Carmen Mint: the mistress of your choosing should one for whom you are able to give a childlike faith in the fact that they will love and cherish you and always have your best interest in mind<br />
[17:48] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): perfectly put<br />
[17:48] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): and on our side.... we learn<br />
[17:48] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): Learning. We are always students - what it is that makes them happy.<br />
[17:48] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): We watch for changes - relationships have ebbs and flows.<br />
[17:49] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): We share our selves<br />
[17:49] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): We are ambassadors - we represent our Mistress to the community<br />
[17:50] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): and we are the Mistress' personal assistant to make their lives easier<br />
[17:50] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): do you have things to add about our role?<br />
[17:50] Rhonda.Lebed (birhonda): thats the first thing i've heard that makes senses, tessa<br />
[17:51] Gwendolyn Stormcrow (gwendolyn.sweetwater): a sub is a reflection on her Mistress<br />
[17:51] Gwendolyn Stormcrow (gwendolyn.sweetwater): at all times<br />
[17:52] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): So as symbols of our collaring we usually use a visual collar or ring<br />
[17:52] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): some use tattoos too<br />
[17:52] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): my Mistress gave me a tattoo like a few months into our relationship<br />
[17:52] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i have Her name on my butt :)<br />
[17:52] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): some Mistresses wear a necklace<br />
[17:53] Mermaid Stormcrow: I have a necklace in RL<br />
[17:53] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): awww<br />
[17:53] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): lovely<br />
[17:53] Mermaid Stormcrow: symbolizing our relationship<br />
[17:53] Gwendolyn Stormcrow (gwendolyn.sweetwater): beams<br />
[17:53] Mermaid Stormcrow: and gwen has three silver strands she has woven into her hair at special events<br />
[17:53] Gwendolyn Stormcrow (gwendolyn.sweetwater): as does slut wear a necklace as a symbol of my collar in RL<br />
[17:53] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so that brings us to the "Lifelong commitment" part of the discussion<br />
[17:53] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): how does that translate in SL?<br />
[17:54] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): it can just be 'a game'<br />
[17:54] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): or it can be an experimental way that leads into RL bdsm<br />
[17:55] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): or it can parallel, i know couples who met here and then met in RL<br />
[17:55] Mermaid Stormcrow: very true<br />
[17:56] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i personally have expanded my toys with my experience in here<br />
[17:56] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): hehe<br />
[17:56] Gwendolyn Stormcrow (gwendolyn.sweetwater): hee hee<br />
[17:56] Carmen Mint giggles<br />
[17:56] Mermaid Stormcrow grins<br />
[17:57] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so that's all i have to say<br />
[17:58] Rhonda.Lebed (birhonda): rolls an apple to the teacher<br />
[17:58] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): thanks rhonda<br />
[17:58] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): and thanks for coming<br />
<br />
Sample ceremony: with a witness<br />
Sub: "I offer this leash to you to guide me and lead me along my journey though life. It is my desire to belong to you and to follow you where ever you choose to take me."<br />
<br />
Miss: "I accept this leash as a symbol of the offering of yourself and give my promise to carefully guide you and lead you safely in my footsteps. You will belong to me from this day on and I will do all within my power to protect you as you join me on my journey."<br />
<br />
Mistress: I am your owner your mistress I am your partner your mentor your protector your lover your care giver<br />
Submissive: I am your slave, your partner, your ambassador, your servant, your lover, your care taker; you're both the embodiment of my desires and needs in love of life and family to meet my needs and desires.<br />
Mistress: I gladly receive your collar.<br />
<br />
OR/ AND<br />
<br />
Sub: "I offer this leash to you to guide me and lead me along my journey though life. It is my desire to belong to you and to follow you where ever you choose to take me."<br />
<br />
At this time the dominant takes the leash from the submissive and states his/her acceptance of the submissive's offer of themselves with such words as:<br />
<br />
"I accept this leash as a symbol of the offering of yourself and give my promise to carefully guide you and lead you safely in my footsteps. You will belong to me from this day on and I will do all within my power to protect you as you join me on my journey."<br />
<br />
The dominant then asks the submissive to kneel before them and takes the collar to place it around their neck. <br />
<br />
"Will you kneel at my feet and take this symbol of my ownership to wear as a sign to us and those we meet on our journey?"<br />
<br />
The submissive then kneels, head held straight but eyes looking to the floor. This will be the last time she/he is "asked" to kneel. <br />
<br />
"I kneel as a sign of my submission to you and acceptance of the symbol of your ownership. I will wear it proudly for all of my days, Miss."<br />
<br />
The dominant then places the collar around the submissive's neck and fastens it securely. <br />
<br />
"You now belong to me." (spoken by the dominant)<br />
<br />
"I now belong to you, Mistress." (or Mistress---spoken by the submissive. This is the first time the dominant has been called Mistress and is a very moving moment in the ceremony.)<br />
<br />cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-67805089593929305432015-07-01T08:31:00.003-07:002015-07-01T08:31:30.475-07:00New Submissive Training week 2[17:04] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): this is the agenda: Week 2: Safety and relationship building<br /> 1) Safety in communication (what not to share)<br /> 2) Red flags; Are they who they say they are?<br /> 3) SSC, RACK and Safe words<br /> 4) Relationship building<br /> a) Progress using Communication and Time<br /> b) Building a Foundation of Trust and Honor<br /> c) Behaviors of an adult in an adult relationship<br /><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />[17:05] Rhonda.Lebed (birhonda): gets coffee<br />[17:05] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): what are the situations and items that we don't share with others?<br />[17:07] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): well, RL identifying info shouldn't be shared until we know a person for a while<br />[17:08] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i personally am rather against sharing photos... but that's a personal thing<br />[17:08] Mermaid Stormcrow nods<br />[17:08] Mermaid Stormcrow: never really sure if the photo I might get is really the person anyway.<br />[17:08] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): ahh right<br />[17:09] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): anyone have a position on voicing?<br />[17:09] Astrid Lednev: I guess that depends on how SL only you're keeping your relationship. I mean, with webcam conferencing etc etc.<br />[17:10] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): right, some folks like the full disclosure, and statistically it is rare that someone would show up at your door<br />[17:10] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): tho it has happened, it happened to my chrisa<br />[17:11] Astrid Lednev: In general a picture, or even voice or video shouldn't pose as much real risk to you as say giving out information as to your identity or location.<br />[17:11] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): there is the risk of being 'outed' by someone in here<br />[17:12] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): well, not to scare you, but i can probably find out who you are from your picture<br />[17:12] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): if it is a picture of you<br />[17:12] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): of course if it's a body part....<br />[17:13] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i would just say if someone asks you for pictures, and you aren't in that kind of relationship, steer clear<br />[17:13] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): we have a notecard of Red Flags in relationships<br />[17:14] Astrid Lednev: That sounds like good advice. Requests for pictures out of the blue is obviously something else.<br />[17:15] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): some Dommes might ask for pictures early on... of private parts, if i may be blunt<br />[17:15] Mermaid Stormcrow: oh my goodness!<br />[17:15] Mermaid Stormcrow: blinks<br />[17:15] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i would be wary<br />[17:16] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): Is the person who they say they are?<br />[17:16] Astrid Lednev: Have a public domain picture of someone else's elbow ready at all times<br />[17:16] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): hahah<br />[17:16] Mermaid Stormcrow laughs<br />[17:16] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i have one of a kitty between someone's legs<br />[17:16] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): it's called My Pussy<br />[17:17] Mermaid Stormcrow: laughs<br />[17:17] Rhonda.Lebed (birhonda): giggles<br />[17:17] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): ok, so we are wary of fast collaring<br />[17:17] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): the type of Miss who is a 'collector'<br />[17:17] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): we look at how they treat the people around them<br />[17:18] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): we like a Miss who is both talkative, but also a listener<br />[17:18] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): and we would like to steer clear of sexual predators here at the Cellar<br />[17:18] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): if someone wants that, we send them elsewhere<br />[17:19] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): predators generally say, "let's find a dungeon" about two minutes after they've met you<br />[17:19] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): or "Shut up, or I'll make you"<br />[17:19] Mermaid Stormcrow: ah<br />[17:19] Astrid Lednev: Collaring is one of those troublesome things though. Because it doesn't necessarily carry the same meaning or weight to everyone. So wear a collar if it's fun to play with if you want, it's more that you should be careful of someone who wants to place a significant amount of restriction on you, without you two even knowing each other well at all.<br />[17:21] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i think next week we talk about different types of collars<br />[17:22] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i was meaning a full collar, with significant Power Exchange<br />[17:22] Astrid Lednev: I'm gonna stop rocking the boat and listen for a little while. *smiles*<br />[17:22] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): you're not rocking the boat!<br />[17:22] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i love conversation<br />[17:23] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): my point is moreso... it is Easy to be blinded by love. so be safe.<br />[17:23] Mermaid Stormcrow: or lust! grins<br />[17:23] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): and it's questionable if it is love... yes :)<br />[17:24] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): as in RL there are all kinds of personalities and ... characters<br />[17:25] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): it takes time to figure out if a person is going to act jealously, be enraged at you<br />[17:25] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): stalk you<br />[17:25] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): SL does seem to attract an unusual percentage of those with mental illness<br />[17:26] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): and it can be a place of therapy, but hopefully not at your expense<br />[17:26] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i would encourage you to get your Miss' email address, the kosher one<br />[17:27] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): and realise that trust in here is different than trust in the physical world ... we might know know a person's gender in here<br />[17:27] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): or age<br />[17:27] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): and we are usually ok with that, but if you aren't ...<br />[17:28] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): then it should be a topic of discussion<br />[17:28] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): another key topic is safe words<br />[17:28] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i know many subbie who don't have one, or say they will never use one<br />[17:29] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i think it's a good habit to have one... sort of like part of subbie initiation steps<br />[17:29] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): and if you cross over into RL D/s you must have one<br />[17:30] Astrid Lednev: I find it irresponsible to not have one period.<br />[17:30] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): you may want to know if the Miss drinks a lot<br />[17:30] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): you may not be physically hurt, but if someone is drunk while you're in a scene with them, they might more unwittingly hurt you psychologically<br />[17:31] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): the word is to help with that<br />[17:31] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): thoughts?<br />[17:31] Mermaid Stormcrow nods in agreement<br />[17:32] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): and of course we can always X out<br />[17:33] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): Also early on in the relationship we talk about our kinks<br />[17:33] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): hence the checklist<br />[17:33] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): any questions about the difference between Safe, Sane, and Consensual<br />[17:34] Mermaid Stormcrow: I think SSC could be a whole conversation on its own.<br />[17:34] Mermaid Stormcrow: smiles<br />[17:34] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): and Risk ... something... Consensual Kink<br />[17:34] Astrid Lednev: I really wish I could actually stay for all of this but I have an early start tomorrow.<br />[17:34] Mermaid Stormcrow: take care astrid<br />[17:34] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): ninite<br />[17:35] Rhonda.Lebed (birhonda): nini Astrid<br />[17:35] Astrid Lednev: Have a fun, productive discussion. :)<br />[17:35] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so... sometimes we don't get the cues that make our intuition trigger when we're online<br />[17:35] Mermaid Stormcrow nods<br />[17:36] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): Establish conflict resolution approaches early on in the relationship<br />[17:36] Mermaid Stormcrow: and throughout! Thinks of my red hair girl<br />[17:36] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): And don't do the passive aggressive manipulation<br />[17:37] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): that's basically what i was going to say about relationship buliding<br />[17:37] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): and since we're down to just us, i think i'll call it quits now<br />[17:37] Mermaid Stormcrow: tessa, thank you!<br />[17:37] Mermaid Stormcrow: so much of what you covered are important topics<br />[17:38] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): have a nice evening and thanks for coming<br />cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-9251016856784898462015-07-01T08:30:00.003-07:002015-07-01T08:30:22.063-07:00New Submissive Training Week 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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(photo from a 2014 discussion)<br />
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Submissive Training June 2015<br /><br />Week 1: Introduction <br /> 1) Welcome to Cellar, Sim Rules, Purpose of submissive class<br /> 2) Self Exploration<br /> a) Core values and alignment<br /> b) Personal likes/dislikes/fears/limits<br /> c) Communication with self and others<br /> 3) What is a submissive/slave heart? What is a submissive/slave?<br /> a) Common misconceptions<br /> b) Truth of service NOT stereotype<br /> 4) The other<br /> a) Safety<br /> b) Getting to know You<br />
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[2015/06/10 17:06] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so i did this course when i started as a sub and it gave me a lot of confidence<br />[2015/06/10 17:06] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): to know what to expect and ask<br />[2015/06/10 17:06] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so feel free to ask questions, but i will go somewhat quickly<br />[2015/06/10 17:07] [Club The Cellar] Carmen Mint: :))<br />[2015/06/10 17:07] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): We first look at ourselves<br />[2015/06/10 17:07] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so that we can know with whom we align<br />[2015/06/10 17:07] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so what are your core values as a sub?<br />[2015/06/10 17:08] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): the D/s stool rests on 3 legs (some argue, 4):<br />[2015/06/10 17:08] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): what are these?<br />[2015/06/10 17:09] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): subbies you can just speak out<br />[2015/06/10 17:09] Carmen Mint: well what exactly does core values mean?<br />[2015/06/10 17:10] Mermaid Stormcrow: good question<br />[2015/06/10 17:10] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i'll give the legs of stool and it will give you idea: communication, respect, trust<br />[2015/06/10 17:10] Roxy Doll (roxyd0ll): Safe, sane and consent<br />[2015/06/10 17:11] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i like humour<br />[2015/06/10 17:11] Mermaid Stormcrow: some like brattiness, winks<br />[2015/06/10 17:11] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): eeep<br />[2015/06/10 17:12] ღ Cindee ღ (cindeenorth): my kitten is lagging but i do hope she shares with the group<br />[2015/06/10 17:12] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): ok :)<br />[2015/06/10 17:12] ღ Cindee ღ (cindeenorth): she taught me a lesson when we first met<br />[2015/06/10 17:12] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): what was that?<br />[2015/06/10 17:13] ღ Cindee ღ (cindeenorth): that she will never need a collar or a leash to show her dedication was one of the first statements she made to me<br />[2015/06/10 17:13] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov) nods<br />[2015/06/10 17:13] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so integrity it sounds like<br />[2015/06/10 17:14] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): the important thing is to have comparable values with your Miss<br />[2015/06/10 17:14] Mermaid Stormcrow nods in agreement, very important<br />[2015/06/10 17:15] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): if my Misses didn't have a sense of humour, i would not enjoy my relationship<br />[2015/06/10 17:16] ღ Cindee ღ (cindeenorth): so not dry as a chip<br />[2015/06/10 17:17] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): some of us go into a relationship as long term, others not so much<br />[2015/06/10 17:17] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): it needs to be clear<br />[2015/06/10 17:17] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): the other area is that we know our own likes dislikes fears and limits<br />[2015/06/10 17:18] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i have a huge list and a short list, which would you rather :) ?<br />[2015/06/10 17:18] Ana Topaz (anathae.bogart): huge<br />[2015/06/10 17:18] αιмèє мσσηßεαмღ (skippyflower) does not like getting locked up and left for long times<br />[2015/06/10 17:19] αιмèє мσσηßεαмღ (skippyflower): medium list :P<br />[2015/06/10 17:19] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): yes, often we put that in our profiles up front<br />[2015/06/10 17:19] Carmen Mint: for me personally, I prefer long relationships and I'm all about control, I like being leashed and controlled, the pain and bondage stuff not so much for me it's all a mental state of mind<br />[2015/06/10 17:20] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): crap, only finding the long one now<br />[2015/06/10 17:20] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): very nice distinction carmen<br />[2015/06/10 17:20] Ana Topaz (anathae.bogart): I stole the short list<br />[2015/06/10 17:20] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): oooo ana will hand out the short one :)<br />[2015/06/10 17:20] αιмèє мσσηßεαмღ (skippyflower) agrees i need control and leashed is good i just don't do so well on my own ...i start talking to myself ..and god i can go on<br />[2015/06/10 17:20] Ana Topaz (anathae.bogart): burned it<br />[2015/06/10 17:20] Carmen Mint giggles<br />[2015/06/10 17:21] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): the long one is in the box<br />[2015/06/10 17:21] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): for some spirituality is important<br />[2015/06/10 17:21] Toy North (toy.firelight): we have to remember we are all different. you can't compare one submissive to another or one Mistress to another we all have different likes and dislikes<br />[2015/06/10 17:21] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): and i think we had a discussion last year about that<br />[2015/06/10 17:22] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): correct toy, we are just saying it is important to know your own<br />[2015/06/10 17:22] Toy North (toy.firelight): mews<br />[2015/06/10 17:22] Toy North (toy.firelight): agrees<br />[2015/06/10 17:22] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so we try to find a Miss with whom we are on the same wavelength<br />[2015/06/10 17:23] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): but there are doubting times too,<br />[2015/06/10 17:23] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): that is when we recognise changes and growth happens<br />[2015/06/10 17:23] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): some relationships can withstand that ebb and flow<br />[2015/06/10 17:23] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): others see it as a time to separate<br />[2015/06/10 17:24] Carmen Mint: there's always a honeymoon phase, it's after that you really see if you right for each other<br />[2015/06/10 17:24] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): yes, very true carmen<br />[2015/06/10 17:24] ღ Cindee ღ (cindeenorth): yes carmen, thats so true<br />[2015/06/10 17:25] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): in RL the honeymoon phase last 3-6 months<br />[2015/06/10 17:25] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): if we convert that into SL time....divide by 7<br />[2015/06/10 17:25] Carmen Mint: lol<br />[2015/06/10 17:25] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): hehe<br />[2015/06/10 17:25] αιмèє мσσηßεαмღ (skippyflower): hehe<br />[2015/06/10 17:25] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): So what is a submissive heart?<br />[2015/06/10 17:26] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): submission is a gift<br />[2015/06/10 17:27] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so you've probably heard that the Sub holds the power<br />[2015/06/10 17:27] ღ Cindee ღ (cindeenorth): smiles<br />[2015/06/10 17:27] Toy North (toy.firelight): in a way<br />[2015/06/10 17:27] αιмèє мσσηßεαмღ (skippyflower) nods submission is given not taken<br />[2015/06/10 17:27] Toy North (toy.firelight): the powers is with both<br />[2015/06/10 17:27] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): in a sense, but with humility and submission...<br />[2015/06/10 17:27] ღ Cindee ღ (cindeenorth): that is the most true statement<br />[2015/06/10 17:27] Carmen Mint: actually oddly enough the bible goes extensively into the meaning of a submissive heart<br />[2015/06/10 17:28] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): we give up that power, and put our hopes and dreams in the hands of another<br />[2015/06/10 17:28] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): yes, there is overlap with faith in D/s<br />[2015/06/10 17:28] Carmen Mint: to have a submissive heart is to want to serve faithfully, yo have a childlike faith in your owner and to be pleasing in all fashions<br />[2015/06/10 17:29] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): in Islam submission to God is the word 'struggle'<br />[2015/06/10 17:29] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so some days we can feel less like submitting<br />[2015/06/10 17:30] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): what is submission NOT<br />[2015/06/10 17:31] Carmen Mint: a doormat or a emotional whipping post<br />[2015/06/10 17:31] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): yay!<br />[2015/06/10 17:31] αιмèє мσσηßεαмღ (skippyflower): forced slavery ....oh and grapefruit ..it is not graperuit (always have a backup answer)<br />[2015/06/10 17:31] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): correct in one<br />[2015/06/10 17:31] ღ Cindee ღ (cindeenorth): taking what is not yours<br />[2015/06/10 17:31] Roxy Doll (roxyd0ll): It's sometimes not easy<br />[2015/06/10 17:31] Toy North (toy.firelight): a blank check to do what you like<br />[2015/06/10 17:32] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): awesome answers<br />[2015/06/10 17:32] Ana Topaz (anathae.bogart): I look at it as more symbiotic, neither is complete without the other<br />[2015/06/10 17:32] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): it certainly can become that<br />[2015/06/10 17:33] Carmen Mint: yes, subs need dommes as much as dommes need subs<br />[2015/06/10 17:33] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): healthier, wholer people make better relationships<br />[2015/06/10 17:33] Toy North (toy.firelight): we feed of the other<br />[2015/06/10 17:34] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): and in the end the submissive heart doesn't want to be in charge of the relationship<br />[2015/06/10 17:34] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): our focus ...goal/ touchdown... is being focused on our domme<br />[2015/06/10 17:35] Carmen Mint: no topping from the bottom ;)<br />[2015/06/10 17:35] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): yes<br />[2015/06/10 17:35] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): tho in the bedroom, sometimes a bottom may be asked to play the top<br />[2015/06/10 17:36] Mermaid Stormcrow: very true!<br />[2015/06/10 17:36] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): but then it's clear communication about that<br />[2015/06/10 17:36] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): how all this happens is completely unique in each dynamic<br />[2015/06/10 17:36] Toy North (toy.firelight): some may not like even then being the top<br />[2015/06/10 17:36] αιмèє мσσηßεαмღ (skippyflower) just can't do that, has tried lol<br />[2015/06/10 17:36] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): aww, pats the pony<br />[2015/06/10 17:37] Carmen Mint: private play and public behavior can be very different<br />[2015/06/10 17:37] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): yes, i plan on doing about 5 more of these and we will look at how we represent our Domme and family in public<br />[2015/06/10 17:38] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so what skills are required for a sub?<br />[2015/06/10 17:38] Carmen Mint: a strong tongue?<br />[2015/06/10 17:38] Carmen Mint: hihi, sorry couldn't help myself<br />[2015/06/10 17:38] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov) shakes my head :)<br />[2015/06/10 17:38] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): good one<br />[2015/06/10 17:38] αιмèє мσσηßεαмღ (skippyflower): lol<br />[2015/06/10 17:38] Jessip Wylder (jessip): patience<br />[2015/06/10 17:39] ღ Cindee ღ (cindeenorth): patience and insight<br />[2015/06/10 17:39] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): yes on both sides patience<br />[2015/06/10 17:39] Jessip Wylder (jessip): restraint<br />[2015/06/10 17:39] Roxy Doll (roxyd0ll): Obedience<br />[2015/06/10 17:39] Carmen Mint: loyalty and discretion<br />[2015/06/10 17:39] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): active listening<br />[2015/06/10 17:40] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): we clarify what we've heard<br />[2015/06/10 17:40] MissSasha Topaz: ability to communicate<br />[2015/06/10 17:40] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): yes<br />[2015/06/10 17:40] MissSasha Topaz: and trust<br />[2015/06/10 17:40] Roxy Doll (roxyd0ll): knowing when to ask a question and knowing when to zip it. That is truly a very good skill<br />[2015/06/10 17:40] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): are you speaking from personal experience, roxy :)<br />[2015/06/10 17:40] αιмèє мσσηßεαмღ (skippyflower) ponder the meaning of zip it ..checks her zip and looks confused<br />[2015/06/10 17:40] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov) smiles<br />[2015/06/10 17:41] Carmen Mint giggles knowing i still need to learn that one<br />[2015/06/10 17:41] Roxy Doll (roxyd0ll): Well..<br />[2015/06/10 17:41] Roxy Doll (roxyd0ll) grins<br />[2015/06/10 17:41] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): haha<br />[2015/06/10 17:41] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i think i willingness to learn is critical<br />[2015/06/10 17:41] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): when i went into my relationship with Miss San, i never thought i would want to try breath control<br />[2015/06/10 17:42] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): but i completely trust her, so i was able to go there<br />[2015/06/10 17:42] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i want to learn everything :)<br />[2015/06/10 17:42] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): what's that expression about ignorance and stupidity?<br />[2015/06/10 17:43] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): well ignorance is curable, but stupidity is permanent<br />[2015/06/10 17:43] Carmen Mint: hihi,, like fat and ugly ;)<br />[2015/06/10 17:43] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): eek<br />[2015/06/10 17:43] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so ask questions of others<br />[2015/06/10 17:45] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): the lifestyle does make us look at ourselves critically<br />[2015/06/10 17:45] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): what are our demons?<br />[2015/06/10 17:46] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so all this takes time before finding a domme, much less in the relationship<br />[2015/06/10 17:46] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): take time to get to know each other<br />[2015/06/10 17:46] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): find out what your schedules are, throughout the year<br />[2015/06/10 17:47] Gwendolyn Stormcrow (gwendolyn.sweetwater): the relationship takes as much work if not more than the selection phase<br />[2015/06/10 17:47] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): trust can only be earned if we spend time with each other<br />[2015/06/10 17:47] Trish (gaga.gaboian) nods<br />[2015/06/10 17:48] Gwendolyn Stormcrow (gwendolyn.sweetwater): trust is not earned, it grows with the relationship<br />[2015/06/10 17:48] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): yes and it takes time<br />[2015/06/10 17:49] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): for your mind, body, soul -<br />[2015/06/10 17:48] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): so in the last few minutes, i want to talk about safety<br />[2015/06/10 17:49] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): we have notecards on safety<br />[2015/06/10 17:50] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): we do not promote fast and furious sex here at the Cellar<br />[2015/06/10 17:50] Gwendolyn Stormcrow (gwendolyn.sweetwater): hands out safety glasses, hard hats and WHMIS booklets<br />[2015/06/10 17:50] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): ahh thank you gwen<br />[2015/06/10 17:50] Carmen Mint giggles<br />[2015/06/10 17:50] Gwendolyn Stormcrow (gwendolyn.sweetwater): grins<br />[2015/06/10 17:50] Trish (gaga.gaboian) giggles<br />[2015/06/10 17:51] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): we can point you to the places where you can get laid by man, woman or child<br />[2015/06/10 17:51] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i just don't recommend it as a way to go<br />[2015/06/10 17:51] Carmen Mint: and never forget the big red X in the corner<br />[2015/06/10 17:51] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): yes<br />[2015/06/10 17:51] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): take your time<br />[2015/06/10 17:51] Trish (gaga.gaboian) smiles<br />[2015/06/10 17:52] Ana Topaz (anathae.bogart): child is against TOS<br />[2015/06/10 17:52] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): yes, an adult avie acting like a child<br />[2015/06/10 17:52] Gwendolyn Stormcrow (gwendolyn.sweetwater): very true ana<br />[2015/06/10 17:52] Carmen Mint: yes but it happens and we all know it<br />[2015/06/10 17:52] αιмèє мσσηßεαмღ (skippyflower): meh i can't even do general bdsm play with strangers, i prefer more than a hello first lol so that doesn't interest me<br />[2015/06/10 17:53] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): well i would hope we are of that vein aimee<br />[2015/06/10 17:53] Trish (gaga.gaboian) nods<br />[2015/06/10 17:53] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): i do know that i sat here for a few months, making monumental mistakes in relationships :)<br />[2015/06/10 17:53] Trish (gaga.gaboian): How can girl give trust to someone unknown<br />[2015/06/10 17:53] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): well we can't<br />[2015/06/10 17:54] Carmen Mint: and we shouldn't<br />[2015/06/10 17:54] αιмèє мσσηßεαмღ (skippyflower) tends to sit and watch the room dynamic anywhere she goes ..oh and speak in the third person emote a lot lol .... only when I feel comfy do i generally get chatty<br />[2015/06/10 17:55] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): observe and learn<br />[2015/06/10 17:55] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): ok<br />[2015/06/10 17:55] Trish (gaga.gaboian): This girl almost can't break from third person, It is ingrained pretty deep<br />[2015/06/10 17:55] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): more on the safe, sane, consensual next week<br />[2015/06/10 17:55] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): yes, we come from different backgrounds on some things<br />[2015/06/10 17:56] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): like kneels and emotes<br />[2015/06/10 17:56] Gwendolyn Stormcrow (gwendolyn.sweetwater): do we have to be sane next week? i was planning on washing my brain<br />[2015/06/10 17:56] αιмèє мσσηßεαмღ (skippyflower) thinks she shall skip the sane bit ...does not apply hehe<br />[2015/06/10 17:56] ღ Cindee ღ (cindeenorth): tessa, ty for your time .. and all the effort you put into todays meeting<br />[2015/06/10 17:56] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): thank you Miss<br />[2015/06/10 17:56] Carmen Mint: yes , well done Tessa :))<br />[2015/06/10 17:56] Carmen Mint claps<br />cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-83887130097246654832015-03-22T08:29:00.002-07:002015-03-22T08:29:31.905-07:00Layle - Rhonda Wedding Mar-21-2015<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHxYTsLYEf5DECnGdQnY9330-C03fULY3ZBSUqdELTCPl-8CWrLdzGz4w9wBPZV_1kIfepA6OUJ8ALWxLlN2GRAyeIwlL6mhnMRuBdCK9QvRASs5elv_PVdu9_q7kwNsf9pa2mNr7spjlJ/s1600/LR-wedding_009.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHxYTsLYEf5DECnGdQnY9330-C03fULY3ZBSUqdELTCPl-8CWrLdzGz4w9wBPZV_1kIfepA6OUJ8ALWxLlN2GRAyeIwlL6mhnMRuBdCK9QvRASs5elv_PVdu9_q7kwNsf9pa2mNr7spjlJ/s1600/LR-wedding_009.png" height="169" width="320" /></a></div>
[16:06] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): shhhhhhh, the ceremony is ready to start, hide all alcohol and stop all betting<br />[16:07] Layle Lebed: Thank you Tessa<br />[16:07] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): ***** APPPPPPPLLLLAAAUUUSSSSEEEEEEE***********<br />
<a name='more'></a>[16:07] Mermaid Stormcrow claps<br />[16:07] Layle Lebed: fidgets nervously<br />[16:08] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): smiling<br />[16:09] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov) whispers: beautiful music<br />[16:10] Layle Lebed: smiles happily<br />[16:10] Layle Lebed: Welcome everyone, on a day like today we could think of no better way to celebrate and share this moment than with our friends who are gathered near us right now.<br />[16:11] Layle Lebed: It is a rare find to discover that person, that soul and heart that is your perfect match, Rhonda and i were fortunate to have found each other, and while it started slow with many bridges to cross and walls to bring down, it was a journey that has brought us where we stand today.<br />[16:11] Layle Lebed: John Lennon once said that a dream dreamed alone, is just a dream, but a dream that is dreamed together is a reality,<br />[16:12] Layle Lebed: it is with that thought in mind that we step forward into our future together and now offer our promise and commitment to one another asking all of you to bear witness to our words and to support us and help us on our journey forward.<br />[16:12] Layle Lebed: My dearest Rhonda, they say that the eyes are a window to ones soul, and from the moment i looked into your eyes my heart was a gonner. You have brought me joy beyond words,<br />[16:13] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov) gets out a tissue<br />[16:13] Layle Lebed: The love you show me each and every day is beyond anything i have ever felt before, <br />Even your upfront and sometimes brutal honesty is something i admire and cherish in you.<br />Your sensual and playful personality and the way you always seem to want and desire to be near me as much as i want to be near you touches my heart in more ways than words can express.<br />[16:13] Layle Lebed: My promise to you from this day forward is the same as it has been since the day we both allowed our true feelings for each other to shine through, i promise to love and honor you, to show you each and every day how much i care for you and how much you mean to me, i give myself to you completely, my Wife, my best friend, my love, my companion, my lover and my co defendant ㋡<br />[16:14] Layle Lebed: I love you with all that i am and take you just as you are for now and forever<br />[16:14] Layle Lebed: Taking her hand in mine i slide the ring onto her finger and hold it gently for a moment before leaning down to kiss her hand gently before allowing my eyes to settle on hers again<br />[16:15] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov) sighs, "beautiful"<br />[16:15] Rhonda (birhonda): ok finishes off the box of tissues<br />[16:15] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): smiling<br />[16:16] Rhonda (birhonda): to my Sweet Layle<br />you came into my life unexpected and turned out to be the best thing for me.<br />brick by brick you took down the wall i had built around me.<br />i could spend my life in this sweet surrender<br />you allowed me to love again<br /><br />[16:16] Rhonda (birhonda): that wasn't an easy task, and for your honesty and and willingness to put up with me, I happily agree to be your wife.<br /><br />I miss you when you're not here and think of you all the time, wishing we were always together cause as the song says "I don't want to miss a thing"<br />[16:17] Rhonda (birhonda): I will love you as you do me, and will be there for you, treating you as the special person that you are <br /><br />I promise to always be yours above all else, you have my heart, my soul, my body, and of course my collar too.<br />[16:17] Rhonda (birhonda): You've captured my heart, and i give it freely to you as my sweet beautiful wife.<br /><br />I love you baby and will always be here for you<br /><br />[16:17] Layle Lebed wipes my eyes<br />[16:18] Rhonda (birhonda): looks into your beautiful eyes , takes your hand and places the ring on your finger.<br />[16:18] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): ohhh so sweet<br />[16:18] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): ***** APPPPPPPLLLLAAAUUUSSSSEEEEEEE***********<br />[16:19] Rhonda (birhonda): kiss me gorgeous<br />[16:19] HuntressJoannie (cdjoannie): congrats to you both<br />[16:19] Mermaid Stormcrow grins<br />[16:19] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): AAAAAAPPPPLAUSEEEEE<br />[16:19] Layle Lebed: ((damned collar))<br />[16:19] Mermaid Stormcrow: wwwooohooooo!<br />[16:19] Carla Putnam (cyberspy): Very beautiful<br />[16:19] TessaMcKinnon: BEAUTIFUL<br />[16:19] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): YAAAAAAA<br />[16:20] Ana (anathae.bogart): congrats<br />[16:20] Rhonda (birhonda): /llleash<br />[16:20] (Unnamed) Rhonda kisses Layle Lebed.<br />[16:20] Taisa (rohgta) applause happily !<br />[16:20] Anna (annabella.donner) claps and claps<br />[16:20] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): TRULY lovely<br />[16:20] Miana Siabonne: Congrats!!!!<br />[16:20] Rhonda (birhonda): ty everyone sniffs and wipes my eyes<br />[16:20] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): woohoo sexy couple!<br />[16:20] Lexi Xstar: Congrats!!<br />[16:21] Susan (susanmatilda): <smiles> and tears grats<br />[16:21] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): Congrats<br />[16:21] Layle Lebed: thank you all for coming and sharing this with us<br />[16:21] TessaMcKinnon: Needs more tissues<br />[16:21] Taisa (rohgta): congrats to both of you<br />[16:21] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): lovely ceremony<br />[16:22] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): to be followed with DANCING!!!!<br />[16:22] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): smiling<br />[16:22] Rhonda (birhonda): ok drinks are on the house and boy do i need one<br />[16:22] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov) smiles<br />[16:23] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): the dance pavilion is just across the grass<br />[16:23] Layle Lebed: Hoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />[16:23] Layle Lebed: Hooo!! Hooo!! Hooo!! <br />[16:23] Layle Lebed: its a shame the rest of Rhonda's dress was lost in the mail<br />[16:23] Rhonda (birhonda): its all i could afford<br />[16:23] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): giggling<br />[16:24] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): hahah<br />[16:24] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): you two found the perfect dresses<br />[16:24] Rhonda (birhonda): wouldn't be normal for me to be overdressed<br />[16:24] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): lovely and may you both last a thousand years<br />[16:24] Layle Lebed: thank you everyone, come let's dance<br />
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<br />cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-7238743130951789892015-03-06T06:35:00.002-08:002015-03-06T06:35:55.810-08:00Submissive Bill of Rights[12:03:38] Fawn Starflare: Welcome all. I am going to start the transcript right now.<br />[12:03:41] Anne Marques (ladyanamarques): I require a shrubbery first :p<br />[12:03:58] Fawn Starflare: Welcome to my series of group chats.<br />[12:04:13] Yoko Nagai Love (yokonagai): that sounds fun<br />[12:04:40] Fawn Starflare: They have been erratic because of heath issues. But my support network of care givers is getting stronger and so am I.<br />[12:04:53] Yoko Nagai Love (yokonagai): I hope you get well soon<br />[12:05:07] Fawn Starflare: So I am praying I can resume a regular weekly or bi-weekly series of chats once again.<br />[12:05:54] Yoko Nagai Love (yokonagai): good luck to you<br />[12:05:54] Fawn Starflare: Today I have some thoughts generated from Lexi's blog post on submissive's rights.<br />
<a name='more'></a>[12:07:15] Akala Tanara (slyan.alena): there we go<br />[12:07:50] Fawn Starflare: While I have ALWAYS agreed on the rights of submissives, I have a feeling that the comprehensive list lex assembled is a bit inflated. More than that, I think there are times when our desires and fantasies run counter to that bill of rights.<br />[12:08:12] Fawn Starflare: And then there is the difference between<br />
[12:08:22] Yoko Nagai Love (yokonagai): what was the list?<br />[12:08:47] Fawn Starflare: https://slexi.wordpress.com/2015/02/01/the-rights-that-submissives-have/<br />[12:13:11] Fawn Starflare: While some read, I will continue my remarks. There is not much more.<br />[12:13:26] Fawn Starflare: Life in our community is paradoxical.<br />[12:14:08] Fawn Starflare: We have the need to protect newcomers from harm, yet our fantasies and desires is for the seeming that harm and danger are ever immanent.<br />[12:14:43] Fawn Starflare: Indeed my owned girls would reject rights, as they desire total control.<br />[12:15:10] Fawn Starflare: One the other hand, they give up control because they have confidence in me to respect, love and care for them.<br />[12:15:17] Elisandra Foxdale-Putnam (elisandra.foxdale) smiles as she listens<br />[12:15:23] -Miss Emily- (emilyenigma) nods, listening<br />[12:15:32] Fawn Starflare: And sometimes showing love appears, to outsiders, and even some insiders, to be abuse.<br />[12:16:42] Fawn Starflare: So the thing to keep in mind, is that the bill of sub rights belongs to all, but it gets radically revised as people couple up and come to trust each other. But they are always there as a safety net.<br />[12:16:58] Fawn Starflare: Now there is another issue that comes into play.<br />[12:17:12] Fawn Starflare: I have owned a 24/7 live-in slave in real life.<br />[12:17:18] Fawn Starflare: It's very hard work.<br />[12:17:39] Lilith Panthar: Yes, they some times forget the burden on the Mistress<br />[12:17:42] Fawn Starflare: You are taking responsibility for someone life, their, physical and emotional health.<br />[12:17:59] Fawn Starflare: A lot of care is required and it can be a heavy responsibility.<br />[12:18:03] Lex Berchot: Strangely enough so does a good submissive for their dominant.<br />[12:18:35] Fawn Starflare: I find that far too many taking up the role of dominant do not really understand their responsibilities.<br />[12:18:37] Lex Berchot: I hate the idea that the dominant does all the work and all the submissive supposedly does is, as the popular nomenclature goes "Lie there and take it"<br />[12:18:49] Anne Marques (ladyanamarques): !<br />[12:18:59] Fawn Starflare: That's not what I am talking about lex.<br />[12:19:01] Carla Putnam (cyberspy): I dont know what you are doing but mine certainly don't lay there<br />[12:19:06] Lilith Panthar: Well, a good sub will share the burden<br />[12:19:25] Lilith Panthar: Then, there are the do-me subs<br />[12:19:34] -Miss Emily- (emilyenigma) nods<br />[12:19:36] Lex Berchot nods<br />[12:19:46] Fawn Starflare: Those are bottoms, not subs.<br />[12:19:55] Fawn Starflare: there is no submission in "do me"<br />[12:20:07] Akala Tanara (slyan.alena): It sounds more like a demand hehe.<br />[12:20:09] Lilith Panthar: *laughs* Yes<br />[12:20:13] -Miss Emily- (emilyenigma) giggles<br />[12:20:19] Akala Tanara (slyan.alena): Kinda the opposite of being submissive.<br />[12:20:33] Fawn Starflare: exactly.<br />[12:20:52] Fawn Starflare: They just want to be on the "bottom" of rough or possessive sex.<br />[12:20:58] Lilith Panthar: I've had some subs that have been bad at reciprocating.<br />[12:20:58] Rubberella (rubberellaxx) gets the feeling she should be taking notes<br />[12:21:03] Fawn Starflare: But to continue with my theme....<br />[12:21:36] Fawn Starflare: So much for RL. Even with a responsible sub sharing the burden, being a RL domme can be daunting.<br />[12:21:44] Fawn Starflare: It is different in virtual worlds.<br />[12:22:19] Fawn Starflare: I find that people in VR can be crudely grouped in three categories.<br />[12:22:48] Fawn Starflare: (1) those with RL experience desiring a continuance of that experience in SL.<br />[12:23:44] Fawn Starflare: (2) Those with no experience, having and desiring a fantasy. Many of these will never be active in RL, and care not about the requirements of RL BDSM.<br />[12:24:43] Fawn Starflare: (3) Those who are here purely for the fantasy. For these "safe" and "sane" have little meaning. Even "consensual" is hard to pin down.<br />[12:25:01] -Miss Emily- (emilyenigma): I've met a lot of #3's<br />[12:25:10] Fawn Starflare: Yes.<br />[12:25:44] Fawn Starflare: Depending on why someone is here, a submissive bill of rights may or may not have meaning.<br />[12:26:15] Fawn Starflare: The most important thing is that we teach newcomes not to take emotional abuse unless they truly desire it.<br />[12:26:29] Carla Putnam (cyberspy): Lots of people here with one reason in mind. Only focused on one thing.<br />[12:27:21] Fawn Starflare: And that they know they have the right to demand change if the relationships fail to meet their needs, if the relationship becomes abusive in the failure of attention of caring.<br />[12:28:26] Fawn Starflare: Well, those are the thoughts and concerns I have had on my mind. and I can tell you are all eager to comment on it all. So I open the floor, but will act as traffic cop if needed.<br />[12:29:43] Fawn Starflare: Anyone?<br />[12:29:55] Anne Marques (ladyanamarques): I have a few observations which I'd like to share, when I'm done elaborating.<br />[12:30:03] Rubberella (rubberellaxx): i've got something but it may be a bit random<br />[12:30:06] Fawn Starflare: Lol, akala. I forgive you in advance if you give in to sleep.<br />[12:30:17] Fawn Starflare: Go ahead, Ruberella<br />[12:30:24] -Miss Emily- (emilyenigma) listens<br />[12:30:30] Akala Tanara (slyan.alena): Hehe, thank you ^^ I'm trying to stay up for something to eat too so... I shouldn't pass out :3<br />[12:31:29] Lex Berchot: I think you hit the nail on the head with that there are several types of people engaging in bdsm - That does go for both sides of the leash so to speak. But I think that for each and everyone it still counts that the submissives have rights - whether they choose to exercise those rights is an entirely different matter. But that is something that is up to the submissive/bottom/person to decide.<br />[12:31:47] Rubberella (rubberellaxx): so my friend who set me up here has a sub here who is a sub in rl but has an real life and second life mistress<br />[12:32:48] Rubberella (rubberellaxx): so what do you think on that ?<br />[12:33:27] Fawn Starflare: It's a common occurence, Rubberella.<br />[12:33:49] Fawn Starflare: Sometimes people want more than their RL provides and the RL dominant is permissive.<br />[12:34:29] Fawn Starflare: We also have cases where RL is desired, but not possible. So the SL dominant directs the submissive's RL self bondage.<br />[12:34:35] Fawn Starflare: I do that with Dragon.<br />[12:34:44] Fawn Starflare: I run her life in two worlds.<br />[12:34:51] Rubberella (rubberellaxx): i thought it might be but when you said about it being a continuation for people like that might keep the same domme<br />[12:34:57] Fawn Starflare: It's what she desires/needs.<br />[12:35:26] Rubberella (rubberellaxx): did that make sense i skipped about half the sentence out there :)<br />[12:35:39] Fawn Starflare: The domme may or may not want to continue in SL. Some people find SL a way to switch up, to add variety not possible in RL.<br />[12:36:09] Fawn Starflare: I think we've all seen various variations on this,<br />[12:36:40] Fawn Starflare: I think for many SL is a way to break free from safe and sane.<br />[12:36:55] Rubberella (rubberellaxx): makes sense, after all safe and sane is dull :)<br />[12:37:33] Lex Berchot: Not really. :)<br />[12:37:39] Lex Berchot: although I much prefer RACK.<br />[12:37:51] Fawn Starflare: I do not know. There is a lot that falls under SSC including edge (knife) play, fire play, and many other things.<br />[12:38:40] Fawn Starflare: In the hands of a responsible dom who has practice in advance of doing things to a person, these things are far from boring, yet safe and maybe even sane.<br />[12:39:34] Fawn Starflare: Remind me what RACK is, that's basically informed consent knowing there can be unexpected consequences and accidents.<br />[12:39:44] Lex Berchot: Risk Aware Consensual Kink<br />[12:39:51] Lilith Panthar: Yes, knowing your sub and experience with the technique makes for an exciting but safe scene.<br />[12:40:54] Lex Berchot: Risk-aware: Both or all partners are well-informed of the risks involved in the proposed activity.<br />Consensual: In light of those risks, both or all partners have, of sound mind, offered preliminary consent to engage in said activity.<br />Kink: Said activity can be classified as alternative sex.<br />[12:41:28] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov) claps<br />[12:41:47] Anne Marques (ladyanamarques): Alright. I have three observations.<br />[12:41:49] Fawn Starflare: Thank you, Lex. I am much more RACK than SSC, and RACK is more applicable in SL.<br />[12:41:50] Akala Tanara (slyan.alena) tickles Tessa and waves.<br />[12:42:05] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): ola<br />[12:42:07] Lex Berchot motions to Miss Anne .. "you have the floor"<br />[12:42:09] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov) and listens<br />[12:42:13] Anne Marques (ladyanamarques): Firstly... I agree with lex in that submissives, as persons, have rights, even in the context of a power exchange relationship. That those rights, given the absence of physical harm inherent to virtual worlds, can be not exercised, is one thing. But that the rights exist is a given.<br />[12:42:42] Fawn Starflare nods in agreement<br />[12:42:43] Anne Marques (ladyanamarques): Secondly. Accepting the fact that the first point is an inalienable truth, the point of this exercise is to negotiate the amount of power exchanged between dominant and submissive. That negotiation establishes which rights the submissive chooses not to exercise.<br />[12:43:28] Anne Marques (ladyanamarques): Thirdly. The absence of actual, factual physical harm in virtual worlds does not exclude the possibility of emotional damage. Indeed, it's my experience that metaverses such as SL enhance emotional intensity, and emotional damage whether intentional or not is much easier to inflict. The submissives' bill of right is there for submissives to know that is exists, but let's turn it around. Ad dominants, the submissive bill of right is also a rule for us to monitor our submissive to keep him or her from going into behaviors that might be harmful to him and that would violate his or her rights. It is our charge, after all.<br />[12:44:04] Lex Berchot: Hear hear<br />[12:44:10] Anne Marques (ladyanamarques): I'm done.<br />[12:44:16] Fawn Starflare: Thank you Anne.<br />[12:44:25] Fawn Starflare: Point #3 is the critical one.<br />[12:44:30] Lilith Panthar: Yes, this is so true. People with bad intentions can cause emotional harm here.<br />[12:44:44] Rubberella (rubberellaxx): i completely agree tbh<br />[12:44:59] Akala Tanara (slyan.alena): Yeah, without a doubt.<br />[12:44:59] Lilith Panthar: Even with good intentions, you can cause some harm, so it is best to be careful.<br />[12:45:07] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): yes!<br />[12:45:21] Fawn Starflare: I and others have spend a lot of time repairing emotional and spiritual damage done my those taking dominant roles without caring about the possibility of emotional harm.<br />[12:45:28] Akala Tanara (slyan.alena): Even me with keeping most of my relationships as roleplaying, I've still hurt and been hurt before.<br />[12:45:42] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): voila<br />[12:45:50] Fawn Starflare: There is a very real difference between a caring, experienced dominant, and some merely trying to play the role.<br />[12:46:11] Fawn Starflare: And the bill of rights is the way for subs and bottoms to protect themselves.<br />[12:46:37] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): Tosses in an ad for that Bottoming book<br />[12:47:26] Lilith Panthar: If done right, the bond between the Domme and the sub is a beautiful and very deep connection.<br />[12:47:50] Rubberella (rubberellaxx): a lot of trust involved<br />[12:48:03] Lilith Panthar: Yes, much trust and communication<br />[12:48:25] Fawn Starflare: Yes<br />[12:48:27] Anne Marques (ladyanamarques): May I add to that equation another word.<br />[12:48:32] Anne Marques (ladyanamarques): Respect.<br />[12:48:40] Fawn Starflare: And long term connections are possible.<br />[12:48:48] Anne Marques (ladyanamarques): Communication and trust, but also... Respect.<br />[12:48:53] AdaVenomiss: welcome Miss Denise<br />[12:48:59] Fawn Starflare: I have seen relationships over 8 years old.<br />[12:49:06] Rubberella (rubberellaxx): you know, i think respect is key<br />[12:49:11] Lilith Panthar: Yes, never treat the sub like a doormat<br />[12:49:15] Fawn Starflare: Mine with dragon is 2.5 years. and getting better every day.<br />[12:49:28] Lilith Panthar: Unless, that is her fantasy. *smiles*<br />[12:49:41] Lex Berchot: I am approaching 6<br />[12:49:49] Fawn Starflare smiles at Lilith<br />[12:50:21] Anne Marques (ladyanamarques): Amy and I have been together for 3 years. Going on to 4.<br />[12:50:21] Fawn Starflare: Congratulations, lexi. Very impressive!<br />[12:51:20] Lilith Panthar: It is heartening to see such love<br />[12:51:25] Akala Tanara (slyan.alena): You know, it can feel pretty good to be walked on the back, just not full weight or heels involved unless someones light hehe.<br />[12:51:42] Fawn Starflare giggles<br />[12:51:52] Fawn Starflare: This is what I love about this group.<br />[12:52:17] Rubberella (rubberellaxx): lol i don't think you'd want me standing on you in these heels they're very pointy :)<br />[12:52:28] Fawn Starflare: We have many examples of respectful power exchange relationships and we foster these in our newcomers and newbies.<br />[12:52:44] Akala Tanara (slyan.alena): Yeah, exactly. No heels, and not the full weight on my back and you can walk all over it hehe.<br />[12:53:26] Fawn Starflare: Akala, I'll have dragon give you a massage next time we see you.<br />[12:53:36] Akala Tanara (slyan.alena): wooo!<br />[12:53:58] Denise Diesel: These boots are made for walking and that's just what they do, one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you<br />[12:54:38] jewel (jewelle.jewell) admires Mistress Denise's boots<br />[12:54:49] Rubberella (rubberellaxx): you got boobs from your dad ?!?<br />[12:55:00] Akala Tanara (slyan.alena): Hehe, back issues from my dad.<br />[12:55:33] Anne Marques (ladyanamarques): ok, this theme got me inspired for a blog post.<br />[12:56:31] Fawn Starflare: Ladies and girls, if there is no more to be said on our main topic, I will end the transcript here, not that we cannot continue to have fun.<br />[12:57:47] Fawn Starflare: That's fine. This is one of the reasons I hold the chats. It gets us together and we have fun.cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-18441226464060705652015-01-15T17:20:00.003-08:002015-01-15T17:20:48.462-08:00Topping from the Bottom - Miss Fawn Jan 15, 2015Today's topic are some of the subtle ways subs top from the bottom that are often not recognized as such. The Domme must be alert and subs clue into them selves. These things are not universally bad, but when understood can be used to make things more interesting and fun.<br /><br />[12:01:17] AdaVenomiss: welcome Miss Fawn, Toy!<br />[12:01:18] Ellen Cordeaux: Ladies. *smiles and waves at all<br />[12:01:36] Sara (lilgirlsara.audeburgh): Hello Miss Ellen<br />[12:02:43] Ellen Cordeaux: Happy New year to you all (kind of late)<br />[12:03:42] Fawn Starflare: Yes, well happy year to all of you, and it's wonderful to see so many of you here.<br />[12:05:51] Nora Ivylord: I'm here. Maybe I'll get some tips for topping from the bottom. :)<br />[12:06:39] Fawn Starflare flicks an imaginary whip at nora.<br />
<a name='more'></a>[12:09:05] Fawn Starflare: Well, to get started, dragon was, once again, the inspiration for the week's topic.<br />[12:09:36] Fawn Starflare: She did something which I realised later, influenced how I chose to use her on Tuesday morning.<br />[12:09:47] Fawn Starflare: Or rather, She didn't do something<br />[12:11:41] Fawn Starflare: English is not dragon's native language, and though she has almost perfect command of daily American, her natural tendency is not to talk much, and the challenges of speaking in English enhance that.<br />[12:14:22] Fawn Starflare: So it happens that dragon unconsciously fulfills the dictum, good toys should be seen and not heard.<br />[12:14:42] Fawn Starflare: Except that her body languaged is visible only through the emotes that are very rare.<br />[12:15:14] Fawn Starflare: And it dawned on me that certain things I had done had elicited no emotes and others had elicited instant remotes.<br />[12:16:51] Fawn Starflare: And It occurred to me that this is a very subtle way to control one's domme.<br />[12:17:03] Fawn Starflare: And I decided to act on that realization.<br />[12:18:06] Fawn Starflare: I suspect, having been topping women in FL and SL for over 20 years that this is a fairly common occurrence. A quite natural one, actually.<br />[12:18:47] Fawn Starflare: I suspect that every domme here has suspected or reacted to one of these very subtle things at one time or another,<br />[12:18:59] Fawn Starflare: I do not say it is always bad.<br />[12:19:38] Fawn Starflare: Here at the Cellar most relationships are equally about an intimate loving relationship as well as power exchange.<br />[12:20:12] Fawn Starflare: Communications are paramount, we use these subtle forms of communication to indicate what we do and do not like.<br />[12:20:58] Fawn Starflare: So here in particular these forms of communication have their place, but we also have the option to use them as a basis for play or training.<br />[12:21:12] Fawn Starflare: Training one's girl to like what we want her to like.<br />[12:21:26] Fawn Starflare: Shifting her behavior and preferences.<br />[12:22:06] Fawn Starflare: So I think I've said enough for you all to know what's been on my mind. Lets throw this open to comments from all.<br />[12:23:10] Nora Ivylord: I get very quiet when Miss does things I don't like or am not interested in.<br />[12:23:53] Zabrina (zabrinajean): Let me ask If I may please<br />[12:24:02] Fawn Starflare: go on.<br />[12:24:04] Denise Diesel: If she doesn't notice, why wouldn't you?<br />[12:24:50] Fawn Starflare: Yes, zabrina?<br />[12:25:13] Fawn Starflare: may respond to nora's remark in a moment.<br />[12:25:14] Zabrina (zabrinajean): to be a good Mistress you have to be strick but loving at the same time. Right?<br />[12:27:20] Fawn Starflare: Zabrina, there are no hard and fast rules. Here at the Cellar, the women that like this place, that is generally true, however, consider...<br />[12:28:11] Fawn Starflare: With dragon, and two of my other girls, being cruel, doing things they do not like, sometimes being the sadist, this is my way of expressing love. I am indulging them.<br />[12:28:40] Fawn Starflare: But in the sense you mean, yes, being loving is awareness and acting on positive ways on that awareness.<br />[12:29:19] Fawn Starflare: Now there are other sims, other schools of thought in First and Second life.<br />[12:29:34] Fawn Starflare: For some love does not take part in the equation.<br />[12:29:45] Fawn Starflare: For some consensuality is not an issue.<br />[12:29:58] Fawn Starflare: There is no prescriptive formula.<br />[12:30:15] Fawn Starflare: Each dominant-submissive pairing finds it's own norm.<br />[12:31:04] Fawn Starflare: However, as I say, after a bit over three years, I observe something in common between most cellar members.<br />[12:31:53] Fawn Starflare: We are here because we desire loving relationships where power is distributed unilaterally.<br />[12:32:14] Fawn Starflare: Anyway, I truly would like to hear from everyone here.<br />[12:32:25] Fawn Starflare: We each have a unique perspective on this.<br />[12:33:40] Elisandra Foxdale: Mistress Fawn, going back to the subtle signals you were describing, the sub's emotes and when she responds and not, Aren't these technically a form of topping from the bottom, which can generally be tolerated as helpful.......but can also be seized upon by a Mistress to provide an unexpected jolt of a reminder to the sub, and lead to some interesting play.<br />[12:34:29] Fawn Starflare: Eli, that is exactly my point.<br />[12:34:38] Zabrina (zabrinajean): Thank you for your answer.<br />[12:34:50] Denise Diesel: We are here, 1) because we respect each other, sub or Dome 2) The Cellar is a relative small group. We all care for each other. At least me and my sub do.<br />[12:34:50] Fawn Starflare: And to return to nora going silent.<br />[12:34:51] Fawn Starflare: Dragon does this, too.<br />[12:35:27] Fawn Starflare: But the problem is, that silence, is an absence of information. It leaves me as a lover trying to guess what is wrong and how to fix it.<br />[12:36:28] Fawn Starflare: With toy I have learned to call her on it and ask point blank. The incident that inspired this chat, I knew exactly was going on, and chose to use it to play disciplinarian which resolved toy's problem as well.<br />[12:35:38] Mrs. Elle (tucsonelle): I agree with you totally, Miss Fawn. I have seen family D/s groups focused only on BDSM/Power and others focused more on mutual sharing loving relationsips. Both family groups are "successful in that they have stayed together. So it is all in what each lady wants<br />[12:37:15] Denise Diesel: Miss Fawn, we all appreciate what you do here very week. For that, you have my greatest respect. And I think that all of the children listening to you every week, feel the same.<br />[12:37:35] Taisa (rohgta): totally Miss Denise<br />[12:37:41] Denise Diesel: Look around, for cellar standards we have a well filled room<br />[12:38:02] Denise Diesel: they come here to catch up with something<br />[12:38:23] Fawn Starflare smiles<br />[12:38:36] Zabrina (zabrinajean): I know I just started here but I would be pleased to be included in this family<br />[12:39:02] Fawn Starflare: Zabrina, you will notice we have treated you as one of us already.<br />[12:39:17] Fawn Starflare: As in most groups, you have to recognize and accept that.<br />[12:39:27] Zabrina (zabrinajean): Thank you very much Miss Fawn<br />[12:39:47] Fawn Starflare: Getting to know each other, that is a matter that takes time, but we assume most newcomers will fit in with us.<br />[12:40:58] Mrs. Elle (tucsonelle): Zabrina, as you have already witnessed this group, more than any other I either am in or have been in, we enjoy each others' company and conversation<br />[12:41:32] Zabrina (zabrinajean): yes I have noticed very much<br />[12:42:08] Zabrina (zabrinajean): that is why I like it here and my sub will to Mrs Elle<br />[12:42:00] Fawn Starflare: Denise? This is unexpected.<br />[12:42:24] Denise Diesel: this girls, is how much I respect Miss Fawns opinion<br />[12:42:25] Mrs. Elle (tucsonelle) smiles<br />[12:42:40] Fawn Starflare blushes a bit<br />[12:42:46] Denise Diesel: I respect her, with all my heart<br />[12:43:39] Denise Diesel: she may be right, she may be wrong, but she takes the time, once or twice a week, to take you on a trip in sub/Dome reality<br />[12:43:50] Denise Diesel: and she does it good!<br />[12:44:03] Fawn Starflare: Thank you, Denise.<br />[12:42:53] Ellen Cordeaux: I have a bit of a comment on the topic if I may?<br />[12:43:10] Fawn Starflare: And here I try engage all in these chats so we can have something we do and enjoy together!<br />[12:43:23] Fawn Starflare: Ellen, sure.<br />[12:44:15] Ellen Cordeaux: I've often found that Topping from the Bottom can come on very very subtly. You really have to be on point and paying attention as a Domme, in my experience.<br />[12:44:50] Fawn Starflare: Absolutely. And when observed, how you respond may need to be subtle or overt.<br />[12:44:58] Ellen Cordeaux: I've often been a bit surprised by it. Like, omg this is what's happening here. *chuckles<br />[12:45:06] Fawn Starflare: I know I do not want to restrict communication I need.<br />[12:45:29] Ellen Cordeaux: What's always worked for me has been just a gentle but firm re-direction.<br />[12:46:00] Ellen Cordeaux: Though on occasion I have had to actually let my sub know I am aware of it, even if she isn't.<br />[12:46:04] Liandra Hellershanks: It can come on subtly, but it can also come on subconsciously, with the bottom not even realizing what they're doing.<br />[12:46:07] Fawn Starflare: In real life I can smell, hear, see, taste, and feel my sub's response. Here I only have emotes and speech, so they become much more important to understanding and regulating a scene ... or love making.<br />[12:46:23] Ellen Cordeaux: Right Lia, that's what I mean.<br />[12:46:55] Ellen Cordeaux: Yes it's hard here sometimes without being able to see expression and body language and such.<br />[12:47:09] Ellen Cordeaux: Though after a long time you get in sync here and it's easier.<br />[12:47:46] Fawn Starflare: Yes. I can often tell when toy is silent because I have sent her deep into her imagination and physicality.<br />[12:48:34] Fawn Starflare: It takes practice. Sub and domme we need to learn to read people in general and our partners in particular.<br />[12:48:53] Ellen Cordeaux: And IMO, sometimes a suggestion is just a suggestion. About what to do or such. It's not always TFTB.<br />[12:49:55] Ellen Cordeaux: That's what I think takes time and practice, learning what is just simple communication vs. what is TFTB. I'm still learning.<br />[12:50:04] Ellen Cordeaux: TFTB = Topping from the bottom.<br />[12:50:11] Fawn Starflare: Of course!<br />[12:48:34] Denise Diesel: If you come here longer, you will notice, that the cellar is a big family. We care for eachother, we miss one another. That makes it such a tight group<br />[12:48:50] Denise Diesel: I'm happy to be part of it<br />[12:49:04] Ellen Cordeaux: Right *nods*<br />[12:49:39] Fawn Starflare: Yes, I have had people acknowledge my absence as well as my presence. When one is depressed having one's absence noticed quickly lays to rest the notion you are not important or unnoticed.<br />[12:49:51] Denise Diesel: did you hear a sub talking till now?<br />[12:50:34] Denise Diesel: I always wondered what it was. Now I know<br />[12:50:35] Fawn Starflare smiles<br />[12:50:42] Ellen Cordeaux: and that's all! <br />[12:50:45] Mrs. Elle (tucsonelle): takes out her pencil and makes a note TFTB<br />[12:51:05] Fawn Starflare: Indeed<br />[12:57:58] Elisandra Foxdale: I think any TFTB moment offers the best teaching opportunities because they come from within the sub, it originates in the sub's mind. not just a sub's execution of a task or their reaction to something around them. And the domme sub interaction is so much about moulding the mind.<br />[12:58:29] Fawn Starflare: amen!<br />[13:02:20] Fawn Starflare: eli, you bring up a good point....<br />[13:03:31] Elisandra Foxdale: A wonderful discussion as always Miss Fawn<br />[13:03:31] Fawn Starflare: i had the same question a week ago.<br />[13:05:44] Fawn Starflare: i would love to follow up on eli's remark.<br />[13:06:18] Ellen Cordeaux agrees with Eli and nods<br />[13:06:59] Carla (cyberspy): I think good Dommes do this unconsciously.<br />[13:07:34] Fawn Starflare: for many of us, BDSM involves or may entirely revolve around training the sub or slave.<br />[13:07:50] Fawn Starflare: for many ...<br />[13:10:05] Elisandra Foxdale: my comment was not intended to imply that Mistresses don't do it enough......simply that they are potent moments for me personally, because they often go to the core of submission, and fine tuning of a slave's attitude. Forgive me if it sounded like advice to the Mistresses.<br />[13:10:19] Fawn Starflare: train of subs takes two forms.<br />[13:10:57] Fawn Starflare: obedience, attentiveness, observation, these are training of the mind.<br />[13:13:32] Fawn Starflare: in training a girl, even when train her pussy to bet at certain times, this, too, is training of the mind.<br />[13:14:05] Fawn Starflare: even training strength and endurance are not solely training of the body.<br />[13:14:53] Fawn Starflare: only a internal strong, mentally strong person can be a good sub. so training the mind is important.<br />[13:14:59] Mrs. Elle (tucsonelle) turns to face Miss Fawn<br />[13:18:41] Fawn Starflare: ok, i suspect some of you are wondering how training the pussy to be wet or endure requires training the mind.<br />[13:18:44] Mrs. Elle (tucsonelle): smiles<br />[13:18:51] Fawn Starflare: lol, i like it.<br />[13:19:12] Carla (cyberspy): it starts in the mind<br />[13:19:36] Fawn Starflare: precisely.<br />[13:19:59] Fawn Starflare: would you care to continue caroa .. or eli?<br />[13:21:48] Ellen Cordeaux: Thank you Fawn for a great conversation, good to see you ladies. Have a lovely evening all<br />[13:22:06] Fawn Starflare: bye Ellen. thank you.<br />[13:22:09] Elisandra Foxdale applauds and whistles<br />[13:23:42] Fawn Starflare: i think my pain situation is under care of a good doctor and i can resume leading this conversation every week.<br />[13:23:44] Liandra Hellershanks: Thanks for leading the discussion, Fawn!<br />[13:24:06] Fawn Starflare: having you here was enough, Liandra.<br />[13:24:26] Uniceundomiel: thank you for the discussion , Fawn<br />[13:24:58] Zabrina (zabrinajean): It was very good and I hope there will be more like it<br />[13:26:26] Fawn Starflare: some days the conversation goes longer than others. there is a sort of group will.<br />[13:28:34] Fawn Starflare: this is fine. i just like to emphasize that though i like to talk at the beginning, this should feel and be like a conversation, not a lecture.<br />cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-52991221405392831262014-11-29T14:44:00.000-08:002014-11-29T14:46:13.207-08:00Our very own Tori graduates from SL Coast Guard Academy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Tori Graduation from SL Coast Guard Academy<br />
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[12:35] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): SR Tori Petlyakov please join us on the deck<br />
[12:35] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): welcome to the deck<br />
[12:35] Tori Petlyakov: SEMPER PARATUS<br />
[12:35] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): SEMPER PARATUS<br />
<a name='more'></a>12:35] Tori Petlyakov: Attention<br />
[12:35] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): at ease :)<br />
[12:35] Tori Petlyakov: stands at ease<br />
[12:35] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): please<br />
[12:35] Tori Petlyakov: thank you Ma'am<br />
[12:35] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): SR Petlyakov, tell us, what in particular stood out from your time with us in recruit training?<br />
[12:36] Tori Petlyakov: Meeting all the great people at the stations, their helpfulness and showing me the ropes Ma'am<br />
[12:36] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): and i know you made a lasting impression on them<br />
[12:36] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): What would you change anything regarding training procedures?<br />
[12:36] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): :)<br />
[12:37] San Mauvaise is Online<br />
[12:37] Tori Petlyakov: Make it alot fhorter than 2 1/2 months Ma'am<br />
[12:37] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): :)<br />
[12:37] Tori Petlyakov: shorter^<br />
[12:37] Ix Heron: ;))<br />
[12:37] Eveline Catteneo: :)<br />
[12:37] Ginko (ginkostar): ((wait for NACS and we'll talk about......))<br />
[12:37] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): yes you did rotate a bit didnt you :) and you did great<br />
[12:37] Mandy (amandaleeks): :)<br />
[12:37] Azanae Icebear (azanae): laughs<br />
[12:37] Tori Petlyakov: aye aye Ma'am<br />
[12:37] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): SR Petlyakov, please repeat after me<br />
[12:38] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): I, Tori Petlyakov, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Guidelines of the SL Coast Guard.<br />
That I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God.<br />
[12:38] Tori Petlyakov: I, Tori Petlyakov, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Guidelines of the SL Coast Guard.<br />
That I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God.<br />
[12:38] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): By order of the SL Coast Guard Command <br />
You are hereby promoted to the rank of Petty Officer 3rd class with all the rights and responsibilities of that rank, <br />
CONGRATULATIONS Tori!" <br />
[12:38] Allian Blackwell (allian): *•.¸'*•.¸ ★ ¸.•*´¸.•*<br />
[12:38] Allian Blackwell (allian): .•*★¨`• Aρρlɑuѕɛ •¨`★*•.<br />
[12:38] Allian Blackwell (allian): ¸.•*`¸.•*´ ★ `*•.¸`*•.¸<br />
[12:38] Allian Resident shouts: *•.¸'*•.¸ ★ ¸.•*´¸.•*<br />
[12:38] Allian Resident shouts: .•*★¨`• Aρρlɑuѕɛ •¨`★*•.<br />
[12:38] Allian Resident shouts: ¸.•*`¸.•*´ ★ `*•.¸`*•.¸<br />
[12:38] Ix Heron: *•.¸'*•.¸ ♥ ¸.•*´¸.•*<br />
[12:38] Ix Heron: •*♥`•****AWESOME ****•• * ♥.<br />
[12:38] Ix Heron: .•*♥`•**** JUST ****•• * ♥.<br />
[12:38] Ix Heron: .•*♥`•****AWESOME****•• * ♥.<br />
[12:38] Ix Heron: ¸.•*¸.•*´ ♥ `*•.¸`*•.¸ <br />
[12:38] Nil Wolf (nil1965): ♫♪♫♪ ☺ Applauds! ☺ ♪♫♪♫<br />
[12:38] Thorn Blackflag: ♪♪♪♪♫♫♫♫ APPLAUSE ♫♫♫♫♫ ♪♪♪♪♪<br />
[12:38] Thorn Blackflag: ♪♪♪♪♫♫♫♫ APPLAUSE ♫♫♫♫♫ ♪♪♪♪♪<br />
[12:38] Thorn Blackflag: ♪♪♪♪♫♫♫♫ APPLAUSE ♫♫♫♫♫ ♪♪♪♪♪<br />
[12:38] Henry Crawford (henrycrawford): . .. ...▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ ▉ ╰☆╮☛ APPLAUSE!!!!☚╰☆╮ ▉ █ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▃ ▂... .. .<br />
[12:38] Connie Mistwalker: ♫♪♫♪ ☺ Applauds! ☺ ♪♫♪♫<br />
[12:38] Talina Caligini (alex01.wescott): ☆ ->~*APPLAUSE*~<-☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆<br />
[12:38] Talina Caligini (alex01.wescott): ☆->~*AWSOME*~<-☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆<br />
[12:38] Talina Caligini (alex01.wescott): ☆☆~~>-WoOoOoOoHoOoOoOo-~~<☆☆<br />
[12:38] Talina Caligini (alex01.wescott): ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆<br />
[12:40] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): As you all know, each graduation the RTC staff chooses an honor graduate whom we feel has excelled in their training duties.<br />
[12:40] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): The Honor graduate may choose station assignments. This months decision was an extremely difficult one.<br />
[12:40] June Aljon is Offline<br />
[12:40] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): Both Seamen Recruit demonstrated resolve and earned the privileged of graduating here today<br />
[12:41] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): The RTC staff mulled over this months HG selection and we did come to a decision.<br />
[12:41] Toni Westland is Offline<br />
[12:41] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): SR Petlyakov you have been awarded Honor Graduate this day,<br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2579266617186363129" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2579266617186363129" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>[12:41] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): As honor graduate, you get to choose your station assignment. Where would you like to begin your SLCG Career?<br />
[12:41] Tori Petlyakov: smiles... wiping her eyes<br />
[12:41] Tori Petlyakov: Terranova please Ma'am<br />
[12:42] bruckner (bruckner.dreddmor): the PO chooses, station Terranova !<br />
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<span id="goog_1520470571"></span><span id="goog_1520470572"></span>cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-4039692465696722152014-11-07T14:28:00.001-08:002014-11-07T14:28:03.779-08:00Expectations - Miss Fawn 11-7-2014[12:13:49] Fawn Starflare: When I first though of this pair of discussions a few weeks back, the inspiration was the many many different expectations we have of each other.<br />[12:14:37] Fawn Starflare: While I would be hard pressed to come up with definitions for top and bottom, or Domme and sub, those who have hung around the lifestyle long enough sense there is a difference.<br />[12:15:45] Fawn Starflare: Not all so called dom/me roles are about dominance. At least not in some traditional sense as an owner of slaves in ancient Rome or even in some parts of the modern Arab world or the antebellum American South.<br />[12:16:56] Fawn Starflare: And the same things goes for those we generically call subs. But some like to be kidnapped, others to be raped, and others pain. And none of those are necessarily submissive.<br />[12:17:46] Fawn Starflare: And then there are the truly submissive roles, servants, maids, sex toy, dolls, and all the rest. And brats, and those that love to be subdued before submitting.<br />[12:18:22] A-Toy-Dragon (dragony.darkfury) smiles<br />[12:18:36] Fawn Starflare: So let's go around the room. Let's see what different dommes expect from subs, three or four attributes, and what subs expect of themselves, what they want to give and what they want in return.<br />
<a name='more'></a>[12:18:58] Fawn Starflare: Again three or four things. Maybe five as we are a small company.<br />[12:19:07] Fawn Starflare: Who wants to lead off.<br />[12:19:14] Carla (cyberspy): @<br />[12:19:44] Fawn Starflare: Is that like raising your hand, Carla. Go for it.<br />[12:20:01] Carla (cyberspy): I like attentiveness, loyalty, mainly being a good friend<br />[12:20:19] Carla (cyberspy): I also like them to be pleasant personality and good looking as well<br />[12:20:23] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): @<br />[12:20:49] Fawn Starflare: Go ahead, mouse<br />[12:23:00] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): for me, i like in a top that she / he is respectful, that i can speak openly to her / him, that she/ he can see me as a person who happens to like to submit and that appreciates my service in the spirit in which it is given Miss<br />[12:23:43] andie (andie.faulds): hm, my feelings too mouse<br />[12:23:54] Fawn Starflare: Nice, mouse, but what would you say that are the three essential features of you being a sub of some sort.<br />[12:24:16] andie (andie.faulds): also that she respects my limits/dislikes<br />[12:24:59] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): my submission is based around three things Miss: obedience, devotion and selflessness<br />[12:26:39] Fawn Starflare: Very nice, mouse. That third is often the most challenging, but can also lead to the happiest girls.<br />[12:27:01] Fawn Starflare: Andie, what defines you as a sub in your mind.<br />[12:27:12] Carla (cyberspy): I always like to know likes and dislikes.<br />[12:27:32] andie (andie.faulds): obedience, loyalty<br />[12:27:45] andie (andie.faulds): and i guess not being a doormat<br />[12:28:02] andie (andie.faulds): and hoping that Miss accepts the final one<br />[12:28:52] Fawn Starflare: I think you fill find that few Domes, especially the better ones want a doormat.<br />[12:29:02] andie (andie.faulds) smiles<br />[12:29:08] Fawn Starflare: Typically they do not make good subs.<br />[12:29:10] andie (andie.faulds): i have met a few, Miss<br />[12:29:13] Carla (cyberspy): I dont like that stillness thing<br />[12:29:29] andie (andie.faulds): although it seems mostly men<br />[12:29:32] Fawn Starflare: To be submissive, or a painslut, or a servant, or selfless takes a VERY strong person.<br />[12:29:41] Fawn Starflare: The faint of heart need not apply.<br />[12:29:55] andie (andie.faulds): that is true Miss<br />[12:30:16] Fawn Starflare: Dragon constantly amazes me with the strength of her character. I find it most apealing.<br />[12:30:47] Fawn Starflare: ada, your turn. What qualities do you expect of yourself as a sub?<br />[12:31:07] AdaVenomiss: That's a tough one Miss ...<br />[12:31:39] AdaVenomiss: Perhaps obedience comes top<br />[12:31:51] Fawn Starflare: But I intend to be tough on you.<br />[12:32:07] AdaVenomiss: to be helpful, to take pleasure from serving and pleasing others<br />[12:32:18] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): @<br />[12:32:58] Fawn Starflare: Mouse, you wanted to add something?<br />[12:33:58] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): yes Miss Fawn, just a quote from MLK on service, which i think has in essence something that could be called what i call what rings close to me as a submissive<br />[12:34:22] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): "Everybody can be great because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You don't have to know Plato and Aristotle to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love. And you can be that servant." --M. L. King, Jr.<br />[12:35:15] Fawn Starflare: Wonderful, thank you, Mouse.<br />[12:35:57] Fawn Starflare: 'A heart full of grace and soul generated from love.' True in the worldly as well as the spiritual sense.<br />[12:36:17] Fawn Starflare: Thank you again, I greatly appreciate that.<br />[12:36:59] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): yes Miss, i'm always happy to serve<br />[12:37:47] Fawn Starflare: So, finally, toy, we want to hear from you my silent girl. After that you may leave for bed. It is getting very late for you.<br />[12:38:21] A-Toy-Dragon (dragony.darkfury): ummm....<br />[12:38:52] A-Toy-Dragon (dragony.darkfury): the most important - is to enjoy serving, and trusting one owner<br />[12:39:07] A-Toy-Dragon (dragony.darkfury): placing my life into hands<br />[12:39:14] A-Toy-Dragon (dragony.darkfury): and entrusting it<br />[12:39:39] Fawn Starflare: Indeed you do.<br />[12:40:14] Fawn Starflare: When I see the trust toy places in me, I am ashamed that as a sub I never even came close to giving that sort of trust.<br />[12:40:51] Uniceundomiel: i am actually here as an alt, as i never come to anything unless my main is busy. i would guess obedience, loyalty, willingness to please, honesty. i think after this last Domme trust is too hard to sub for her again. maybe she will try to be a Domme if she can learn.<br />[12:42:14] Uniceundomiel: at least not for a while, too much to try again right now<br />[12:42:50] Fawn Starflare: It is possible to learn, unice, but for most there is a natural tendency. All the skills can be learned, of course. But the self confidence and other aspects of being a domme can be more challenging to acquire.<br />[12:43:23] Fawn Starflare: But even there, we learn. My relationship with toy over the last 2-1/2 years has truly helped me mature as a Domme.<br />[12:44:13] Fawn Starflare: Toy, you are dismissed. Thank you for your insight.<br />[12:44:13] A-Toy-Dragon (dragony.darkfury) smiles<br />[12:44:44] A-Toy-Dragon (dragony.darkfury) nuzzles to her Goddess and poofs off<br />[12:45:29] Carla (cyberspy): She is lovely Fawn<br />[12:46:08] Fawn Starflare: I find it interesting that as we talk about dommes and subs, that everyone has a bit of a different answer. If there were more of here today we would have even more divergence, I suspect.<br />[12:46:45] Fawn Starflare: Part of the reasons is that we all have multiple fantasies, different needs that propel us into this lifestyle.<br />[12:48:17] Fawn Starflare: As a consequence different things turn us on. It might be the way a Domme dresses, or her arrogance, or lack of arrogance. And so on, and about subs, we like them feisty, we like them trusting, etc. No one sub has it all, but we can find those that have needs we most like to fulfill.<br />[12:52:51] Fawn Starflare: We have been having a discussion about subs. What it means to each of us. In general every Domme and every sub perceives different requirements.<br />[12:53:07] Fawn Starflare: Would any of our newcomers like to comment?<br />[12:56:51] Julie Ingram (mistressmorville): As to the topic Fawn, sure that is about the persons and what they want, yes<br />[12:57:28] Fawn Starflare: Indeed, Why not tell us what you expect of a sub. what do you look for.<br />[12:57:40] Miss Terious (frenchsub): so many different points of view about it ........<br />[12:58:13] Miss Terious (frenchsub): personally.....first requirement is loyalty for me<br />[12:58:18] Fawn Starflare reaches out to stroke mouse's cheek as she approaches<br />[12:58:32] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl) smiles and leans to Miss Fawn's hand<br />[12:58:43] Julie Ingram (mistressmorville): Its a long list, but solid starters are, Honestly, Loyalty, Drive and desire to serve.....core things.....that come from within them<br />[12:58:59] Miss Terious (frenchsub): yes<br />[12:59:00] Fawn Starflare smiles, "Yes, it's interesting how that swamps obedience and other things."<br />[12:59:17] Julie Ingram (mistressmorville): smiles..I care about that<br />[12:59:20] Julie Ingram (mistressmorville): But<br />[12:59:28] Fawn Starflare gently follows the line of mouse's jaw with her finger.<br />[12:59:51] Fawn Starflare listens for Julie's words<br />[12:59:52] Julie Ingram (mistressmorville): If they dont have the things I said, my experience has been they wont make it<br />[13:00:10] Miss Terious (frenchsub): drive and desire to serve....yes absolutely Julie<br />[13:00:22] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl) looks up trustingly to Miss Fawn, nibbling gently on her lower lip<br />[13:01:44] Fawn Starflare: For those of you new to the club, we are at the tail end of a weekly discussion we have on Thursdays that begins a little after noon SLT.<br />[13:02:07] Fawn Starflare: We have other activities including dances ever Sunday afternoon and holidays.<br />[13:02:09] Miss Terious (frenchsub): oooh ok<br />[13:02:24] honeybud: okay. I'll just listen until you are done then.<br />[13:02:42] Julie Ingram (mistressmorville): I will make a note of this, thank you Fawn<br />[13:02:51] Fawn Starflare: Sometimes I also hold the discussion on Saturday, but I've not quite figured out when the best time of day would be.<br />[13:03:58] Julie Ingram (mistressmorville): Nods<br />[13:04:31] Fawn Starflare: Well we've been talking about how we each define subs a bit differently depending on our individual needs. How would you say are the three or four most important things about you as a sub, honey?<br />[13:04:57] honeybud ponders the question for a moment.<br />[13:06:21] honeybud: uhm...I guess the most important is empathy-- noticing how others are feeling. I think it's important for a sub to be supportive of their dominant and see to their emotional needs.<br />[13:06:43] Fawn Starflare: I think this is difficult for subs because they wrestle with what they need vs what they think a domme demands.<br />[13:07:09] Fawn Starflare: Excellent. I tend to agree, but you are the first to say it today.<br />[13:07:29] honeybud: yes...there is a great deal of more or less subtle manipulation that goes on when two people get together to each fulfill their own fantasies.<br />[13:07:30] Julie Ingram (mistressmorville): That is a good answer<br />[13:07:40] Fawn Starflare: Indeed it's my belief that the best Mistresses have this same quality.<br />[13:07:50] honeybud nods in agreement at Fawn<br />[13:08:04] honeybud: I switch...so for me it goes both ways<br />[13:08:10] honeybud: the empathy that is<br />[13:08:22] honeybud: i try not to manipulate<br />[13:08:33] honeybud smiles mischievously<br />[13:09:51] Fawn Starflare: Tries not to, ha!<br />[13:10:06] honeybud: well....desires can be strong<br />[13:10:07] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): @<br />[13:10:48] Fawn Starflare: I have been switch most of my life. Indeed my best skills as a Domme come from complete acceptance of myself as a sub. That I no longer sub is not important, that I remain in touch with it is vital.<br />[13:11:24] honeybud: yes Fawn...the best of either are usually people who have at least tried both sides I think<br />[13:11:59] Miss Terious (frenchsub): having been a sub for me...helps me a lot to be a domme........I mean you know best about the feelings of a sub..<br />[13:12:51] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): if i may i would like to add something<br />[13:13:00] Fawn Starflare: Please do, mouse.<br />[13:13:16] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): it'sabout something that honeybud said Miss<br />[13:13:29] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): she said she tries not to manipulate<br />[13:14:12] honeybud listens to Mouse<br />[13:15:47] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): may i suggest that in a dominant manipulation is if not explicit at least implicit in what a dominant does, in order to guide the submissive towards where the dominant wishes. that is positive manipulation... which is welcome i think, instead of the negative manipulation that one can see in abusive relationships. it's a fine point think, but important.<br />[13:16:20] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): there is nothing wrong with being a switch in fact it can be a releasing experience and always learn more about not only yourself but how too take care of your girls<br />[13:16:58] Miss Terious (frenchsub): I agree Lilly...and I am not ashame to "switch"sometimes<br />[13:17:02] Fawn Starflare: In deed. I took honey's words to be more indicative of not topping from the bottom, than manipulation as a Domme.<br />[13:17:07] honeybud: I agree with you Mouse...I was mainly referring to manipulations by submissives, to make a domme or dom do the things to them that they crave<br />[13:17:16] honeybud nods at Fawn<br />[13:17:28] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl) blushes<br />[13:17:39] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): please excuse me a moment<br />[13:18:03] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): well any Domme that says a sub has no control mouse is fooling herself giggling<br />[13:18:07] Miss Terious (frenchsub): yes I know this kind of subs...I call them"subnators".......they try to manipulate the domme.....smiles<br />[13:18:53] honeybud: when they start emoting what I do to them I draw the line<br />[13:18:55] honeybud grins<br />[13:18:56] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): well Teri I feel they all do it too some extent just do it with respect smiling<br />[13:19:40] Miss Terious (frenchsub): well...sometimes is"well done"...and you dont even notice it....but sometimes...OMG........<br />[13:19:44] honeybud: of course it can be done more openly...like biting your lip and gazing at someone's feet, or crawling to them naked with a whip in your mouth...<br />[13:19:58] Fawn Starflare: Well look, sometimes RP is aided by emotes including a partner's response. It greases the skids, as it were. However, yes a sub needs to avoid a bit more than a domme.<br />[13:20:00] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): giggling subtle<br />[13:21:07] Miss Terious (frenchsub): RP is essential for me.......as a domme you must have some feedback to go on....and decide the following..<br />[13:21:47] honeybud: yes...there should always be communication, however subtle...to help things in the right direction<br />[13:21:58] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): I agree Teri if a sub is completely quiet I feel I've been doing something wrong or they left the room giggling<br />[13:22:31] Fawn Starflare: Of course it is also possible they are lost in subspace!<br />[13:22:38] Miss Terious (frenchsub): yes.......I hate "talking alone"........I mean if the sub said or emotes nothing...no play possible for me<br />[13:22:46] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): this is true as well Fawn<br />[13:22:56] Fawn Starflare: More and more I find toy getting lost in the fantasy I spin out for her.<br />[13:23:18] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): but usually some soft moans or cries of passion giggling<br />[13:23:21] Fawn Starflare: I am the same way, Teri<br />[13:23:29] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): it's amazing how many people think "rp" is essentially "cybersex" Miss Terious<br />[13:23:37] honeybud: yes, I prefer people who are active with emotes, even if they are tightly bound and gagged, they can describe their movements or sounds, to indicate how they are feeling about the scene<br />[13:24:05] Fawn Starflare: And hopefully remember they can be smelled, too.<br />[13:24:14] Miss Terious (frenchsub): well...how could I guess how the sub is...if I havent any information to help me ?<br />[13:24:30] Fawn Starflare: In RL the scent of a woman's pussy drives me crazy. If I cannot smell my sub, something is wrong!<br />[13:24:40] Miss Terious (frenchsub): LOL<br />[13:24:41] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): very true indeed Teri<br />[13:24:41] honeybud: do you mean cybersex as in making each other do rl things in front of the computer Mouse?<br />[13:24:53] honeybud grins at Fawn<br />[13:24:55] Fawn Starflare: No...<br />[13:25:00] Lilly Pet (lilly34bif1): well yes there is that Fawn smiling <sniffing the air><br />[13:25:21] Miss Terious (frenchsub): even if it is only virtual...you must communicate...<br />[13:25:27] Fawn Starflare: I mean in terms of remember that if you are aroused you have an increasing scent which can be used to describe how you feel.<br />[13:25:49] Miss Terious (frenchsub): I agree Fawn...smiles<br />[13:25:55] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): no, i am sorry, i should have been clearer, i meant "poseball humping" with no interaction going on honeybud<br />[13:26:15] honeybud: ah yes, that gets boring in my opinion...<br />[13:26:19] Fawn Starflare: So boring.<br />[13:26:50] Miss Terious (frenchsub): LOL<br />[13:26:56] honeybud grins and nods<br />[13:27:59] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl) shifts a little, her tail swishing occasionally, glistening a little with the perspire caused by her vicinity to the fire<br />cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2579266617186363129.post-8127427586643258092014-11-03T14:33:00.002-08:002014-11-03T14:33:38.635-08:00Types of Kneels - Mouse 11-1-2014[12:11] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): i offered to teach brit the meanings behind the kneels Miss Carley<br />
[12:11] Carley Noonan pulls Britt close and kisses Britt<br />
[12:11] Carley Noonan: Oh mouse thank you<br />
[12:11] Carley Noonan: we are trying to get her edumacated<br />
[12:12] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): may i take the center for a moment please<br />
[12:12] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): fine by me mousey-love<br />
[12:12] Mermaid Stormcrow: please do, mouse.<br />
[12:13] Carley Noonan: of course mouse<br />
[12:13] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): this little workshop is called "On your knees"<br />
[12:13] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): oo<br />
<a name='more'></a>[12:13] アєקקє尺 ℳαýαкø (pepper.mayako) smiles and watches the one called mouse<br />
[12:14] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): in it i will attempt to explain the meanings behind the various kneels<br />
[12:14] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): usually as a submissive one is required to go to one's knees in certain positions<br />
[12:14] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): but<br />
[12:15] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): what to they mean and what do they evoke<br />
[12:15] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): let's start at the basics: kneels indicate in general two things:<br />
[12:16] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): respect and subservience<br />
[12:16] BrittaneyAnne: listens<br />
[12:17] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): for showing respect and subservience, this kneel would be sufficient<br />
[12:17] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): it is called kneel-up<br />
[12:17] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): as my body is erect and i am resting my weight fully on my knees<br />
[12:17] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): i am also with thighs parted, for support<br />
[12:18] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): were i naked my pubic area would be well visible<br />
[12:18] Carla (cyberspy): hehe<br />
[12:18] アєקקє尺 ℳαýαкø (pepper.mayako) eyes smile wide seeing the well taught girl<br />
[12:19] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): as i said, this kneel would be sufficient, but thanks to gorean role play submissives have a wider range of showing their subservience and even their emotional state<br />
[12:20] Barbi Burnstein: um Mouse? please if i can ask, how can i do that one with an open collar?<br />
[12:21] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): i will distribute a folder with the kneels at the end, popping one in an open collar is trivial, with a little knowledge of editing.<br />
[12:21] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): ooo<br />
[12:21] Akala Tanara (slyan.alena): Not in Gor yet still use many things that came from it. A lot of poses..<br />
[12:21] Barbi Burnstein: oh thank you Mouse!! - i've always wanted to know how to do that<br />
[12:21] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): let's go over quickly though the so called "gorean" kneels<br />
[12:21] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): the first one is tower<br />
[12:22] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): tower is the kneel mandated in gorean protocol for slaves who have not been sexually touched, and is the only admitted kneel for slaves to use in front of women.<br />
[12:23] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): it is equivalent to kneel-up in that it shows the slave's availability to serve<br />
[12:23] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): it's the one kneel that precludes sexual use<br />
[12:24] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): it is a "service" kneel. when kneeling in this position, a slave communicates: "i am a service slave"<br />
[12:25] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): on these cushions it is the 2nd set called 'sit on feet'<br />
[12:25] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): on to the other kneels<br />
[12:25] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): the kneel of the pleasure slave<br />
[12:25] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): it's called nadu<br />
[12:26] Carley Noonan: one of my favorites<br />
[12:26] BrittaneyAnne: makes a note<br />
[12:26] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): it means that the slave is available to be sexually used<br />
[12:26] Akala Tanara (slyan.alena) started to avoid using these kneels to not confuse people who knew the meanings behind them.. :P<br />
[12:27] Carley Noonan: Mouse, in Gor does that mean available to ANYONE or just the Master<br />
[12:27] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): any one, Miss Carley.<br />
[12:28] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): any master can use a pleasure slave<br />
[12:28] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): unless she is restricted.<br />
[12:28] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): even if restricted a pleasure slave must nadu to a man, however.<br />
[12:28] BrittaneyAnne: and if she is restricted which kneel is to be used?<br />
[12:29] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): i said it already but i will say again:<br />
[12:29] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): even if restricted a pleasure slave must nadu to a man.<br />
[12:30] Carley Noonan: [12:28] (You): So we Mistresses must be aware that if there a Gor men around having our girl in that pose invites trouble<br />
[12:30] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): yes Miss Carley<br />
[12:30] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): however, gorean men seldom venture out of gorean sims<br />
[12:31] アєקקє尺 ℳαýαкø (pepper.mayako): should leave the girl in tower<br />
[12:31] Barbi Burnstein thankfully ;)<br />
[12:31] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): apparently, "earth" is too intimidating to them<br />
[12:31] Carley Noonan: right Barbi<br />
[12:31] Akala Tanara (slyan.alena) giggles<br />
[12:31] BrittaneyAnne: giggles<br />
[12:31] Barbi Burnstein smirks<br />
[12:31] Carley Noonan: but sometimes one of us might end up in a market where Gor men are around<br />
[12:31] Carley Noonan: if looking for certain style clothes<br />
[12:32] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): yes Miss Carley<br />
[12:32] Carley Noonan: continue mouse<br />
[12:32] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): however markets found in gorean sims (usually in the sky) are considered out of character areas<br />
[12:33] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): nadu has other variants<br />
[12:33] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): nadu wide is the more popular<br />
[12:33] Carley Noonan: that was the one I left you in by the fire last night Britt<br />
[12:34] BrittaneyAnne: yes Miss Carley i remember quite well<br />
[12:34] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): if nadu was the expression that a slave is available for use, nadu wide is more explicitly expressive of the slave's availability for sexual use<br />
[12:34] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): in essence, nadu wide is inviting Masters to come and use sexually the slave<br />
[12:36] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): nadu wide has a second position, equally expressive of the slave's "heat"<br />
[12:36] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): naduw2<br />
[12:37] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): finally the third variation of nadu wide<br />
[12:37] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): it is supposed to show complete and utter surrender to the Master's sexual urges and whims<br />
[12:38] Carla (cyberspy): good pose Mouse. Prepare yourself<br />
[12:38] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): yes Miss Carley<br />
[12:39] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): outside of Gor, where these kneels are not so ritualised, they can be used by submissives to show surrender to their owner<br />
[12:39] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): other kneels serve the same purpose, without being so explicit<br />
[12:39] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): the most popular is bracelets<br />
[12:40] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): in this kneel the hands are behind the back, it is a sign of surrender, of saying "i am at your mercy"<br />
[12:41] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): at the same time the parted thighs show that one is available and open to the will of the dominant, whatever it is.<br />
[12:42] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): there are of course merely decorative kneels<br />
[12:42] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): open comes to mind<br />
[12:43] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): this is the second variation of the open kneel<br />
[12:43] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): it has all the implications and symbolism implicit in bracelets<br />
[12:44] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): only this one is more wanton, so to speak -blush-<br />
[12:44] Barbi Burnstein: ...with a little more OOOH factor.....<br />
[12:44] Barbi Burnstein giggles<br />
[12:44] Akala Tanara (slyan.alena): Hehe, sounds like a fittingly Mousey one though.<br />
[12:44] Mermaid Stormcrow: I haven't seen this kneel before.<br />
[12:46] Carley Noonan: I like this one<br />
[12:46] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): the more relaxed position, "open" is less of a kneel and more of a "come hither" pose<br />
[12:46] Akala Tanara (slyan.alena): hehe<br />
[12:46] Barbi Burnstein resists the urge to move closer....<br />
[12:47] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): this one is a more formalised kneel, without being a tower pose<br />
[12:47] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): it's called "onknees" in the package i will distribute<br />
[12:48] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): there are several more in there, of course<br />
[12:49] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): kneel down, kneel-dn in the package, can be used by submissives who like to distinguish between the kneel they use for their owner and the kneel they take for others<br />
[12:49] Carley Noonan: which one is that Tessa<br />
[12:50] BrittaneyAnne: this is getting complicated!<br />
[12:50] Carley Noonan: TESSA WILL DISTRIBUTE A LOG<br />
[12:50] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): and finally<br />
[12:50] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): the one kneel that is used once<br />
[12:51] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): submit<br />
[12:51] Carley Noonan: nods<br />
[12:51] ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (tessaromanov): on these pillow it is submit too<br />
[12:51] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): it is used only once because one uses this kneel when begging to be collared<br />
[12:51] Barbi Burnstein whispers: perhaps we could all line up to try them for the Misses after we have the folder?<br />
[12:51] Carley Noonan: you want my collar mouse? hehe<br />
[12:52] MissSasha Topaz: i think sans would take issue Carley<br />
[12:52] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): an unowned submissive uses this to say "i surrender to You, please take me as Yours."<br />
[12:52] Carley Noonan: oh darn<br />
[12:53] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): this is the kneel i use for others<br />
[12:53] Carley Noonan: I like it Mouse<br />
[12:53] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): it's simply called "kneel"<br />
[12:54] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): it has the implications of kneel-up, while being more demure<br />
[12:55] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): this concludes my demonstration and the explanation of the various kneels<br />
[12:55] Carley Noonan: very good mouse!<br />
[12:55] Mermaid Stormcrow: mouse, thank you so much!<br />
[12:55] Barbi Burnstein claps loudly<br />
[12:55] Mouse Love Lykin (minnigirl): i will now open for questions<br />
[12:55] BrittaneyAnne: thank you mouse!!!cellar the clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14965710405917936042noreply@blogger.com0