Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
- Chaining systems
- Cyber v xcite! and attachment driven arousal systems
- Interaction method
Monday, July 20, 2009
Thank you.We declare the following to be the absolute rights of all submissives in SL.1. To have their Sanity, Safety and Consent (SSC) respected at all times. That any domminant ensure, as far as reasonable, that all who interact with their submissives respect these principles.2. To have their hard limits and use of safewords respected without exception or excuse. Further, that they not be put under pressure to weaken their own declared limits of withdraw use of safewords that they feel appropriate.3. To be told when their dominants decide to quit SL (or swap to another avatar), so they dont hang around for weeks worrying and wondering if their domminants are coming back. A quick 3-line IM or email is a minimum. Similarly pretending death in RL is unacceptably cruel (unless arranged with those close to them).4. In return for submission to be given sufficient attention by their domminants. The emotions that accompany genuine submission usually makes the submissive dependent on some attention for their emotional well-being. If a domminants has too many submissives they should not take on more. There is no way around this need (leaving them at a club, doing meaningless tasks, isolating them, putting them on display etc.) - if you take on a submissive you then you have to give them enough personal attention or let them go.5. To be informed to a reasonable extent when they can expect their domminant to be online, so they dont needlessly mope around waiting.6. If they have NOT submitted to anyone, to be able to dress and act as they wish, free from any interaction they do not wish for subject only to any rules of any place they visit. In particular for it not to be assumed that they will obey anyone or behave in any way if they have not consented to do so, regardless of their usual orientation or their manner of dress.7. To not have to reveal any RL information they do not wish to reveal, especially those pertinent to their RL ID (NI numbers, name, address, credit card numbers etc.).8. To be able to withdraw from any relationship for their own reasons (stated or otherwise), without inappropriate social sanction or public insult.9. If not in any agreed relationship, to be free to take any desired role, for example to domminant, to switch or out of D/s altogether.10. To be free to bring any contravention of these rights to public attention or the attention of a relevant authority.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
I would like to invite my Cellar family to a showing of my photography at the Art'e Gallery in Helvellyn, now through the end of July. The Cellar is the setting for one of the pictures, and features several familiar figures.
Helvellyn is also worth the visit by itself. A charming Mediterranean style shopping village and residential area, om and I have called it home for a year now, and would love to have you visit.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
The Cellar is a place for females only. No male avs, sexuality or behaviour will be tolerated. We ask that any males who are simply pretending to be female should respect our wish to be female-only and go elsewhere. No penises or other displays of maleness are allowed.It is recognised that there are people (TG/TS/TV) with female brains but RL male bodies. These are allowed by on some conditions: (1) they talk to me, San Mauvaise before spending substantial time at the Cellar (2) they reveal their RL status to others before any sexual intimacy or entering into a longer-term relationship with them (such as collaring) (3) they live as a female at the Cellar in all respects.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
|Keeping Your Collar running|
|Written by Darien Caldwell|
|Monday, 11 May 2009 18:42 originally (here)|
The collar polls this website for diagnostic reasons. Now that Dari's Haus is closing, this website will also eventually close. Once this site is gone, the collar would produce an error on every TP, however, there is a simple fix to ensure your collar continues to work without this error.
Please Select Read More to be taken on a step-by-step guide.
3. Then Right Click on the collar and choose Edit.
4. Check the box that says "Edit Linked Parts"
5. Select the Content Tab, then click on the lightly red ball that's usually near the center of the collar. This prim will be named "dari_node".
6. Inside is a script named "!".
7. Delete this script, by right clicking on it and choosing the delete option.
8. The collar will prompt to reload settings. Say 'done' to start the reload, and you're finished.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
- Do quit if it gets too much! I know this is obvious, but it is easy not to for reasons of pride (I have no limits, am no sissy etc.) or social obligation (I said I would not, she would be disspointed in me). Good BDSM interaction will not allow you to get to this point - if its really too much, press ctrl+Q or turn off your computer/disconnect the internet (which simulates a crash well).
- Agree a safeword with whomever you are interacting with. This is a word that will not be confused with play refusal (saying "no no" when you mean yes, which is fairly common in kinky play) - !SAFEWORD! is fairly unambiguous.
- Think about and declare your limits explicitly. Don't just hope your partner will somehow know what they are - even if they are obvious to you they might not be to others, everyone is different in this. Also *everybody* has some limits, don't fool yourself otherwise -- would you be happy stuck somewhere in SL for 6 months with no interaction? would you be willing to be sold to someone else and then to another? would you be nasty to your friends on command? would you do things to yourself in RL?
- Declare traumatic episodes. If you have any traumatic episodes in your life that even *might* be triggered during an interaction, please either (a) don't enter into that interaction or, at least, (b) tell the other about it in enough detail so they know.
- Don't reveal your RL ID. Don't tell information about your RL that would allow yourself to be identified (at least until you have known them a LONG time then do it gradually and carefully if you really wish this). Remember due to the web and Google, information about you (your job, location etc.) can be used to identify you if you are specific and accurate enough.
- Talk to others. If you are worried about anything talk to others who are similar to you (subs->subs etc.). This will help you understand what is normal, what is not, useful tips and what to do about bad situations. If you dont have anyone else, come and talk to me.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Although RL men are not wanted at the cellar, and no male behaviour/appearence will be tollerated (including the use of penises), genuine m->f transexuals are welcome, provided (1) they reveal this to me and discuss this with me before entering the club (2) they live totally as a woman in all respects and (3) they reveal this fact to anyone before becoming intimate (there are some at the club with traumas due to abuse by men so this is a sensitive subject).
- To maintain a "female atmosphere", that emphasises underlying respect, tollerance, relationships, friendship, safety and mutual care/support.
- To help provide a home (to the limited extent possible a safe home) for women with D/s leanings who want to avoid men, in particular for those who have suffered trauma due to their treatedment by men.
- To be an open, friendly, welcoming place that is simply nice to come to, helpful and inclusive to newcomers and newbies
- To be as tollerant of people's various desires and orientations as possible whilst emphasising the importance of safety and care
- I dont want to even try to police the gender of those at the club, or have to investigage claims about an av's sex if there is not incident or noone is harmed (quite apart from this being against the SL TOS). Rather I would like rules etc. that encourages the self-selection of those who frequent the place.
- Should the TS males at the club declare this in their profile?
- Should we be trying at all to keep the club female?
- Do people want to maintain the illusion that all at the club are RL female?
- How best to keep the maximum pressure on RL males at the club to behave in a suitable fashion?
- How to ensure the Club can protect its more vulnerable members?
- How to preserve the ethos and atmosphere of the Club?
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
- Embrace Your Anger — “You were lied to. You were betrayed. You were fooled. You have the right to be angry.”
- Get Over Your Regret — “Kick yourself in the ass a few times. Mourn everything you lost. But pick yourself up and get on with it. You already wasted time — don’t waste more drowning yourself in your sorrows.”
- Hold Steady — “Create a support network, and try to stay away from intense debates with those who betrayed you.”
- Be Cautious About Getting Back Involved in the Same Sort of Relationship — “Even if you still believe that it is worthwhile or what you want, you should probably take it easy, at least for a while. Otherwise, you may be setting yourself up for a pattern of involvement, disillusionment, and disbelief.”
- Life Your Life in Color — “Life without can be a marvelous, beautiful thing. I urge you to take the opportunity to do things you couldn’t or wouldn’t do before, when and how you can.”
- Meet with and interact with friends — don't spend all your time moping on your own (and SL wandering on your own can be very depressing).
- Start a new project, SL skill, or exploration — new things and even relationships can grow out of doing something new, and its imporetant to feel you are making some progress, somehow.
- Help and empathise with others who have lost someone — this not only helps them, but its something that feels real even if you are a bit down.
- Get outside — yes the RL outside each day.
- Don't beat up on yourself too much if you are not achieving and seem to be just wandering — you are not, recovering from a bad relationship takes some personal space and time.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
This thursday there will be a silks-only night. That is the normal rule about no nudity will be relaxed and there will be an obligation for everyone to wear silks of some kind (broadly interpreted).
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
- I know I'll like this to some extent
- I think I'll like this to some extent
- I think I won't like this
- I know I don't like this, but it doesn't revolt me
- WTF is this?
- OMG NO!