Basic Safety for BDSM in SL
Although SL is very safe (no significant physical risk, can always quit) it is surprisingly emotional. For this reason some basic safety measures are advisable.
This is not long, please take the time to read it if you, especially if you are new to BDSM in SL.
- Do quit if it gets too much! I know this is obvious, but it is easy not to for reasons of pride (I have no limits, am no sissy etc.) or social obligation (I said I would not, she would be disspointed in me). Good BDSM interaction will not allow you to get to this point - if its really too much, press ctrl+Q or turn off your computer/disconnect the internet (which simulates a crash well).
- Agree a safeword with whomever you are interacting with. This is a word that will not be confused with play refusal (saying "no no" when you mean yes, which is fairly common in kinky play) - !SAFEWORD! is fairly unambiguous.
- Think about and declare your limits explicitly. Don't just hope your partner will somehow know what they are - even if they are obvious to you they might not be to others, everyone is different in this. Also *everybody* has some limits, don't fool yourself otherwise -- would you be happy stuck somewhere in SL for 6 months with no interaction? would you be willing to be sold to someone else and then to another? would you be nasty to your friends on command? would you do things to yourself in RL?
- Declare traumatic episodes. If you have any traumatic episodes in your life that even *might* be triggered during an interaction, please either (a) don't enter into that interaction or, at least, (b) tell the other about it in enough detail so they know.
- Don't reveal your RL ID. Don't tell information about your RL that would allow yourself to be identified (at least until you have known them a LONG time then do it gradually and carefully if you really wish this). Remember due to the web and Google, information about you (your job, location etc.) can be used to identify you if you are specific and accurate enough.
- Talk to others. If you are worried about anything talk to others who are similar to you (subs->subs etc.). This will help you understand what is normal, what is not, useful tips and what to do about bad situations. If you dont have anyone else, come and talk to me.
Thats it. Enjoy!
PS. Safety in RL BDSM is a lot more involved due to the physical risks involved. This is about BDSM in SL only.