Monday, June 23, 2014

Sensual Domming: the SL/RL Connection - Miss Ash 06222014

[2014/06/22 11:10]  Ash (Ash Yheng): So basically, although this discussion started off in my mind purely about Sensual Domming as a method ...
[2014/06/22 11:10]  Ash (Ash Yheng): ... it quickly turned into one that was about how connected subs are between RL and SL.
[2014/06/22 11:10]  Ash (Ash Yheng): And this is a tricky area. Some people get uncomfortable about that subject, because they think of it as being "too real", or get worried about people stalking them ...
[2014/06/22 11:11]  Molly Domenici: Part of SL is having that separation from RL
[2014/06/22 11:11]  Ash (Ash Yheng): ... but it doesn't have to be that way. To me there is always going to be -some- sort of carry over into the RL of the sub if we're talking about a real D/s experience, at least in terms of mood.
[2014/06/22 11:11]  Ash (Ash Yheng) nods at molly.
[2014/06/22 11:11]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Well, people experience it all very differently.
[2014/06/22 11:12]  Ash (Ash Yheng): The reason I was attracted to leading this discussion is that, unlike for many other aspects of D/s, I have yet to see a good essay on Sensual Domming in SL.
[2014/06/22 11:12]  Carley Noonan: hi all
[2014/06/22 11:12]  Ash (Ash Yheng): There is one by Inara Pey, who describes the technical aspects well, but she admits herself that it is an area that she struggles with, and I found the essay lacking in a few areas. There are others by RL writers such as "Sir Tom", but these lack specificity to SL.
[2014/06/22 11:13]  Ash (Ash Yheng): In many ways, sensual D/s, or SD/s, is the play part of D/s that doesn't really fit into the BDSM spectrum, most of which is focused on more extreme experiences.
[2014/06/22 11:14]  Ash (Ash Yheng): It can apply to a style of play, or in the extreme even a full relationship, and there are many in D/s that focus almost exclusively on SD/s.
[2014/06/22 11:15]  Ash (Ash Yheng): In the ideal, it grows out of a really deep understanding and connection between Dominant and submissive, that some describe as almost "spiritual", and tends to involve something more of a collaboration in the SL context.
[2014/06/22 11:16]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Some see this as evidence that the submissive viewed more of an “equal” to the Dominant in terms of “managing” the relationship, but this doesn't have to be the case. In fact, my own experience is that I achieve a greater degree of fine control when I employ sensual techniques than when I "go for the throat" so to speak. However, it does entail, ideally, an almost empathic union between two people in which either one can identify and respond to the needs of the other on an instinctive, loving level that does not necessarily require verbal or other direct communication.
[2014/06/22 11:17]  Ash (Ash Yheng): "Such an understanding – connectedness – takes time to nurture and grow. It requires commitment from both parties that can only grow out from close contact. In this, it is perhaps akin to the feelings of union and “connectedness” we feel in the early blooming of a love affair, and which grows through courting and marriage, the ups and downs of life in all its many colours, which enable a couple to spend their lives in (relative, allowing for human nature) harmony down through the years." (that's taken straight from Inara Pey's essay)
[2014/06/22 11:17]  Ash (Ash Yheng): The big problem in applying sensual D/s to SL is in actually stimulating the senses, which let's face it is critical.
[2014/06/22 11:18]  Molly Domenici: what would be an example of a sensual technique?
[2014/06/22 11:18]  Ash (Ash Yheng): And some have said to me that they struggle with the "visceral experience", as Tessa eloquently worded it earlier.
[2014/06/22 11:19]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Well, I'd like to ask the room that. *smiles*
[2014/06/22 11:19]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Does anyone have any examples or thoughts on molly's question?
[2014/06/22 11:19]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident): i feel embarrassed to be this naked but it always reminds me that my Mistress requested it
[2014/06/22 11:20]  Ash (Ash Yheng) smiles
[2014/06/22 11:20]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Well, embarrassment and humiliation play are often a part of it. But I'm thinking more about the more direct stimulation of the physical senses as a path to emotional connectedness.
[2014/06/22 11:21]  Ash (Ash Yheng): And so to me, a gently stroke of the cheek, if it evokes a submissive response, is a big part of the play.
[2014/06/22 11:22]  Carley Noonan: I agree Ash, I love to touch a girl's face gently
[2014/06/22 11:22]  Z (Zoltan Footman): /me waves hello
[2014/06/22 11:22]  Carley Noonan: or maybe to raise or lower her chin
[2014/06/22 11:23]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident): yes, those guestures help me focus
[2014/06/22 11:23]  Ash (Ash Yheng) smiles. "Exactly the sort of thing I was thinking of. If a sub is in an emotionally pliant mood, some sort of subspace, it can reinforce it and even draw the sub deeper."
[2014/06/22 11:23]  Ash (Ash Yheng): In fact, I find with sensual play that I can control that descent into subspace to a much greater extent than if I play at the edge.
[2014/06/22 11:25]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Does anyone else have an example of sensual play they'd like to share? Something they found to be highly intense from either side: Domme or sub?
[2014/06/22 11:26]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident): i find using RL tools to be wowow
[2014/06/22 11:26]  Carley Noonan: like what tessa?
[2014/06/22 11:26]  Ash (Ash Yheng) smiles
[2014/06/22 11:26]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident) blushes
[2014/06/22 11:26]  Z (Zoltan Footman): in RL I like certain types of smiles when playing....sorta an evilish smile...just does something for me
[2014/06/22 11:26]  Ash (Ash Yheng) grins at z's comment. "Tiny little things can provoke the most intense emotional responses, can't they?"
[2014/06/22 11:27]  Carley Noonan: I like ears
[2014/06/22 11:27]  Carley Noonan: playing with ears
[2014/06/22 11:27]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident): (clothes pins, actually undressing, command her to play in the car or at the office)
[2014/06/22 11:27]  Molly Domenici: I like the... holding their chin, running my thumb over their lips... it's subtle and controlling and sensual for me
[2014/06/22 11:27]  Ash (Ash Yheng): I mean, think of the power of a hug in RL. Out of the context of D/s.
[2014/06/22 11:27]  Carley Noonan: Ears are sensual, but often ignored
[2014/06/22 11:27]  Ash (Ash Yheng): mmhmm
[2014/06/22 11:27]  Carley Noonan: you can play with ears in a public place
[2014/06/22 11:27]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident): ears, neck, shoulders, hips :)
[2014/06/22 11:27]  Carley Noonan: and take control, without having to get too crazy
[2014/06/22 11:28]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Personally I'm a fan of the back of the neck around the hairline.
[2014/06/22 11:28]  Ash (Ash Yheng): a few gentle caresses with sharp fingernails there can cause the most intense reactions. *grins*
[2014/06/22 11:28]  Carley Noonan: that to Ash, and some massaging of scalp and hair pulling gently
[2014/06/22 11:28]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident): i have to say as soon as chrisa comes online i get revved up
[2014/06/22 11:28]  Ash (Ash Yheng): mmhmm
[2014/06/22 11:28]  Carley Noonan: How many subs here have that reaction?
[2014/06/22 11:28]  Z (Zoltan Footman): I also enjoy some hair pulling
[2014/06/22 11:28]  Carley Noonan: get revved up as soon as their Mistress comes on
[2014/06/22 11:29]  Z (Zoltan Footman): and stroking
[2014/06/22 11:29]  Shar Roxan: I do enjoy that
[2014/06/22 11:29]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident): o0
[2014/06/22 11:29]  Ash (Ash Yheng): So, how many find that the SL experience works for you to the same degree as RL?
[2014/06/22 11:29]  Ash (Ash Yheng): For this sort of play.
[2014/06/22 11:30]  Ash (Ash Yheng): And how has that connection evolved since coming to SL?
[2014/06/22 11:31]  Molly Domenici: I can't say to the same degree, but it's close when the feeling is right
[2014/06/22 11:31]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident) nods
[2014/06/22 11:31]  Aeralyn (limulimu Resident): is online.
[2014/06/22 11:31]  Z (Zoltan Footman): I've found it CAN work between rl and sl, not always though and it has evolved lots for me
[2014/06/22 11:31]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Did you just immediately experience these visceral connections powerfully? Or were they trained? By you, or someone else?
[2014/06/22 11:31]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident): it does depend on the person
[2014/06/22 11:31]  Z (Zoltan Footman): depends on the play/person/etc,etc for me
[2014/06/22 11:32]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Do you find that they have to warm you up to it?
[2014/06/22 11:32]  Molly Domenici: I think once you're in that subspace everything becomes more... aware
[2014/06/22 11:32]  Carley Noonan: Z that raises an interesting question, can you experience sensual D/s with just anyone, or does it need to be someone your close too
[2014/06/22 11:32]  Z (Zoltan Footman): was the person the first time and what she said to me while we played and it just happened for me
[2014/06/22 11:32]  Ash (Ash Yheng) grins and nods at molly's comment. "Exactly. In subspace we become almost hypnotically suggestible, and start to -feel- things far more directly.
[2014/06/22 11:32]  Z (Zoltan Footman): me personally? I like the connection, it means more then just casual play
[2014/06/22 11:33]  Ash (Ash Yheng): I certainly have found that it helps to build it for some time. In fact, I rarely play with anyone that I haven't used low level SD/s techniques on, to see how they respond and how connected they are.
[2014/06/22 11:33]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident): i don't like the tummy ache i get when she's gone for the weekend tho... ick
[2014/06/22 11:33]  Ash (Ash Yheng): And how amenable they are to having their responses trained.
[2014/06/22 11:35]  Ash (Ash Yheng): The key to building that response, I find, is to keep things simple at first. We mentioned the brush of finger across cheek earlier. Something like that that the RL person has experienced before can really help.
[2014/06/22 11:35]  Ash (Ash Yheng): It's far easier to relate to a sensation deeply if we've experienced it in RL.
[2014/06/22 11:35]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident): i do it to myself in RL, not the same, but helps
[2014/06/22 11:36]  Ash (Ash Yheng): If the play becomes more complex, it helps to open up those experiences in some way to the RL person behind the AV. If I'm aiming for the SD/s response, I refrain from introducing elements that require a leap of connectivity. It doesn't have to involve mirroring by any means - when in that headspace you can -experience- what is happening in SL almost as truly.
[2014/06/22 11:36]  Carley Noonan: shelby what do I do to you that particularly gets your attention
[2014/06/22 11:37]  Shelby Noonan (ShelbyZoo Resident): Ears :)
[2014/06/22 11:37]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Let's try an example. Let's say that your sub has never experienced a ring-gag in RL, and you want them to experience the full sensuality of it. Let's assume they don't have one. What do you do, as a Domme?
[2014/06/22 11:38]  Molly Domenici: Have them just open their mouth and hold it open until permission to close is given
[2014/06/22 11:38]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): nods
[2014/06/22 11:38]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Well, that helps to some extent. What I like to do is this ...
[2014/06/22 11:38]  Ash (Ash Yheng) brings up her hand to her face, opens her mouth ...
[2014/06/22 11:39]  Ash (Ash Yheng) bends her forefinger and middle finger knuckles and presses them in.
[2014/06/22 11:39]  Ash (Ash Yheng) closes her teeth down onto her knuckles, propping her mouth open.
[2014/06/22 11:39]  Molly Domenici wonders how many of us are trying that right now
[2014/06/22 11:39]  Ash (Ash Yheng) eyes twinkle as she pulls her knuckles away
[2014/06/22 11:39]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident): teehee
[2014/06/22 11:39]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Try it.
[2014/06/22 11:39]  Ash (Ash Yheng) smiles
[2014/06/22 11:40]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Keep those knuckles in your mouth for a while in RL ...
[2014/06/22 11:40]  Ash (Ash Yheng): ... focus on the sensations ...
[2014/06/22 11:40]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): haha
[2014/06/22 11:40]  Ash (Ash Yheng): ... the build-up of saliva in your mouth ....
[2014/06/22 11:40]  Ash (Ash Yheng): .... the feeling of your jaw ...
[2014/06/22 11:40]  Ash (Ash Yheng): And after a while, once the saliva builds up...
[2014/06/22 11:40]  Ash (Ash Yheng): ... try swallowing
[2014/06/22 11:40]  Ash (Ash Yheng): A gulp.
[2014/06/22 11:40]  Carley Noonan: or not swallowing hehe
[2014/06/22 11:40]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Exactly!
[2014/06/22 11:40]  Ash (Ash Yheng) grins
[2014/06/22 11:40]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Hard, isn't it?
[2014/06/22 11:41]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident): eep
[2014/06/22 11:41]  Carley Noonan: I've also used ice as a gag
[2014/06/22 11:41]  Carley Noonan: put a piece of ice in
[2014/06/22 11:41]  Carley Noonan: do not swallow,
[2014/06/22 11:41]  Carley Noonan: let it build
[2014/06/22 11:41]  Carley Noonan: you can't talk
[2014/06/22 11:41]  Carley Noonan: and then at some point I have the sub open their mouth and let the water run out
[2014/06/22 11:41]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident): oooo
[2014/06/22 11:41]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Some people don't realise how hard that very simple thing is, unless they've experienced it. And if you're using sensual play techniques, it's kind of important for both the Domme and the sub to be connected to the -reality- of the experience.
[2014/06/22 11:41]  Ash (Ash Yheng) grins at Carly's idea.
[2014/06/22 11:41]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Nice
[2014/06/22 11:42]  Ash (Ash Yheng): So, did anyone learn anything from the knuckles demonstration?
[2014/06/22 11:42]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Or have you all done similar before?
[2014/06/22 11:42]  Molly Domenici smiles and blushes a bit
[2014/06/22 11:42]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): yes use fingers
[2014/06/22 11:42]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident): i didn't know the knuckles
[2014/06/22 11:42]  Ash (Ash Yheng) smiles
[2014/06/22 11:43]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): fruit sometimes
[2014/06/22 11:43]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Oh, yes. *smiles at Carla*
[2014/06/22 11:43]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident): ooo
[2014/06/22 11:43]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): apple
[2014/06/22 11:43]  Ash (Ash Yheng): And if you do that, it's not just touch.
[2014/06/22 11:43]  Ash (Ash Yheng): There are many more senses one can play with.
[2014/06/22 11:43]  Ash (Ash Yheng): It can be purely visceral, or you can try them out with the fruit in RL. I mean, how many of you have eaten a strawberry before?
[2014/06/22 11:44]  Ash (Ash Yheng): I'm guessing almost all of you? Maybe all.
[2014/06/22 11:44]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): today actually
[2014/06/22 11:44]  Molly Domenici nods
[2014/06/22 11:44]  Z (Zoltan Footman) giggles and raises her hand
[2014/06/22 11:44]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident): yum
[2014/06/22 11:44]  Molly Domenici: Sound works too. There are few more shivery kinda sounds then a loud "click" of a lock.
[2014/06/22 11:44]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Just that simple act can be entirely sensuous if you focus on it in the right way.
[2014/06/22 11:44]  Ash (Ash Yheng) grins and nods at molly.
[2014/06/22 11:45]  Ash (Ash Yheng): And if one is open to that experience, just a typed *click* can do that for you!
[2014/06/22 11:45]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident): i think we've mentioned spending time on locking the leash
[2014/06/22 11:45]  Carley Noonan nods
[2014/06/22 11:45]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Smell and taste are often overlooked here.
[2014/06/22 11:45]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident): oo i have chrisa's fav perfume near my bed
[2014/06/22 11:45]  Ash (Ash Yheng): As a few of you know, I wear a light perfume in SL, and it often creates a subtle yet powerful response.
[2014/06/22 11:45]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): We use it
[2014/06/22 11:45]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): them
[2014/06/22 11:45]  Ash (Ash Yheng) grins and nods
[2014/06/22 11:46]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): I like to do dining experiences
[2014/06/22 11:46]  Carley Noonan: Or a dab of the smell of sex on the neck so it carries with the girl after SL is gone
[2014/06/22 11:46]  ღ Ţєşşa Romanov ღ (TessaRomanov Resident): ooo
[2014/06/22 11:46]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Just emoting the scent hitting the sub's senses can bring them back to a previous emotional or sub space by association.
[2014/06/22 11:46]  Z (Zoltan Footman): OHHH
[2014/06/22 11:46]  Ash (Ash Yheng) grins at Carley
[2014/06/22 11:47]  Ash (Ash Yheng): So one thing I like to do, once the ring-gag experience has been trained, is to drop items of food into the sub's mouth.
[2014/06/22 11:47]  Ash (Ash Yheng): A slice of strawberry, for instance.
[2014/06/22 11:48]  Z (Zoltan Footman) squirms in her chair a little
[2014/06/22 11:48]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Have the sub combine an element of the sensual experience you've built with another more familiar one.
[2014/06/22 11:48]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Grow it slowly.
[2014/06/22 11:49]  Ash (Ash Yheng): One huge advantage in SD/s techniques is in reinforcement. Very small things can maintain the headspace. In fact, I like to send an IM to my girl at work, at times, with a simple action a gentle stroke to the back of her neck ...
[2014/06/22 11:49]  Shar Roxan smiles
[2014/06/22 11:49]  Ash (Ash Yheng): ... and it can really help keep her submissive experience going between play sessions.
[2014/06/22 11:50]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): Or I have my subs say something to me during the day and it goes to my phone.
[2014/06/22 11:50]  Ash (Ash Yheng) nods and listens
[2014/06/22 11:51]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): It lets them know I am there. I am listening/monitoring
[2014/06/22 11:51]  Ash (Ash Yheng): I'm glad people are mentioning techniques. I was hoping that this would be a useful practical introduction to the subject for some.
[2014/06/22 11:52]  Lucksana: i'm finding this fascinating.
[2014/06/22 11:52]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Really, I find that I get a huge amount from these gentle approaches. It becomes less about kink and more about connection.
[2014/06/22 11:52]  Z (Zoltan Footman): I think that it also shows a personal connection, a rl one that enhances what we feel and do once we come here
[2014/06/22 11:52]  Ash (Ash Yheng) nods
[2014/06/22 11:53]  Ash (Ash Yheng): And that's not to denigrate the "harder" side of play. I engage in that too, and it can be spectacular ...
[2014/06/22 11:53]  Ash (Ash Yheng): ... but for me it's only a fraction of my toolset.
[2014/06/22 11:53]  Carley Noonan: but these small things make the connections
[2014/06/22 11:53]  Ash (Ash Yheng): mmhmm
[2014/06/22 11:53]  Carley Noonan: that create the deep bond
[2014/06/22 11:53]  Molly Domenici: Variety is important
[2014/06/22 11:53]  Ash (Ash Yheng): So one can think of it as a tool to make the intense play more real, too.
[2014/06/22 11:53]  Carley Noonan: that compel the relationship
[2014/06/22 11:54]  Ash (Ash Yheng) grins
[2014/06/22 11:54]  Carley Noonan: and they also demonstrate for the sub the commitment of the Mistress
[2014/06/22 11:54]  Z (Zoltan Footman): and develops a, between the Dominant and submissive which can help develop those real life feelings we can and do get
[2014/06/22 11:54]  Carley Noonan: that the mistress will care and not just play hard
[2014/06/22 11:55]  Z (Zoltan Footman): nods
[2014/06/22 11:55]  Carley Noonan: and that makes the gift of submission worthwhile
[2014/06/22 11:55]  Carley Noonan: for the sub
[2014/06/22 11:55]  Ash (Ash Yheng): One more thing to be aware of, and this relates back to last week's discussion, is that with sensual D/s there is a strong emphasis on deliciously-crafted emotes. And this creates a certain demand on the sub. However, sometimes the sub will slide deeper into subspace and find themselves struggling to keep up. As a Domme, I tend to prefer to letting them slide, encouraging it even ...
[2014/06/22 11:56]  Ash (Ash Yheng): ... because it can be a truly delicious experience. But you have to adjust your expectations as their ability to communicate drops.
[2014/06/22 11:56]  Carley Noonan: I even tell my girls at some point that ym and nm are acceptable
[2014/06/22 11:56]  Carley Noonan: ym-yes miss
[2014/06/22 11:56]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): over here
[2014/06/22 11:56]  Carley Noonan: nm-no miss
[2014/06/22 11:57]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Exactly. *smiles* Make sure they don't start getting stressed because they feel like they're failing you by no longer being eloquent back.
[2014/06/22 11:57]  Molly Domenici: some times, "bjs;sjfd;j" is acceptable
[2014/06/22 11:57]  Ash (Ash Yheng): /me laughs . "Although expect a wet patch at that time."
[2014/06/22 11:58]  Ash (Ash Yheng): I mean, in sex play I certainly don't feel the need for a sub to emote their orgasm. If they're -actually- experiencing a great orgasm, they can hardly be expected to focus on communicating it.
[2014/06/22 11:58]  Ash (Ash Yheng): But perhaps that's veering a little too much into the subject of mirroring play in RL. *grins*
[2014/06/22 11:59]  Molly Domenici smiles
[2014/06/22 11:59]  Z (Zoltan Footman) blushes and keeps her mouth shut
[2014/06/22 11:59]  Ash (Ash Yheng): That should perhaps be for a future discussion.
[2014/06/22 11:59]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): I'd personally like to see some feedback on the keyboard
[2014/06/22 11:59]  Carley Noonan: I think feedback is important
[2014/06/22 12:00]  Carley Noonan: but if I have the girls using both hands on other things, its kinda hard
[2014/06/22 12:00]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): haha
[2014/06/22 12:00]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident) nods in agreement
[2014/06/22 12:00]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): Use your tongue to hit a key then
[2014/06/22 12:00]  Z (Zoltan Footman): Ive been known to give the feedback afterwards...hard to type well when ...ummm...occupied
[2014/06/22 12:00]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): lots of mispelling with one hand only
[2014/06/22 12:00]  Ash (Ash Yheng): well, I think we all -like- to see that, and that is at the heart of SD/s, but if what you've done make a girl's brain dribble out of her ears, we have to consider it a positive outcome. :)
[2014/06/22 12:01]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): I havent seen any problems
[2014/06/22 12:01]  Carley Noonan: Carla, I think they need to respond, but it doesn't need to be coherent -- we may be saying the same thing
[2014/06/22 12:01]  Carley Noonan: you want to know they are still there
[2014/06/22 12:01]  Ash (Ash Yheng) nods and smiles
[2014/06/22 12:01]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Yes, for sure.
[2014/06/22 12:01]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): No, anything is fine.
[2014/06/22 12:02]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident) laughs silently
[2014/06/22 12:02]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): when Mistress gives me the big one ....
[2014/06/22 12:02]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): :)
[2014/06/22 12:02]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): I just slap wildly on the keyboard
[2014/06/22 12:02]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): lol
[2014/06/22 12:02]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): message received
[2014/06/22 12:02]  Ash (Ash Yheng) chuckles
[2014/06/22 12:02]  Z (Zoltan Footman) lol
[2014/06/22 12:02]  Ash (Ash Yheng): So, I've actually said most of what I intended to say ... and I definitely encourage people to keep talking opening about it.
[2014/06/22 12:02]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): smiles
[2014/06/22 12:03]  Carley Noonan: I want to hear from the subs, what they would like from their Mistresses in this area
[2014/06/22 12:03]  Ash (Ash Yheng): I strongly encourage those of you that haven't tried these approaches to give them a go, especially if you're a skilled emoter.
[2014/06/22 12:03]  Ash (Ash Yheng): I'm pretty sure you'll find it highly worthwhile.
[2014/06/22 12:04]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): May I ?
[2014/06/22 12:04]  Ash (Ash Yheng): It's all too easy to focus on the more extreme kink fulfillment, but skipping over the simple sensation play makes it hard to actually fully -experience- these things in SL.
[2014/06/22 12:04]  Carley Noonan: of course Adoona
[2014/06/22 12:04]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Sure!
[2014/06/22 12:05]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): When Mistress and I make love
[2014/06/22 12:05]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): it is deeply rewarding for me to know I have brought her to an orgasm
[2014/06/22 12:05]  Carley Noonan nods
[2014/06/22 12:05]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): She has taught me she is delicate and requires a velvet touch
[2014/06/22 12:06]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): so I have her refrain from emoting
[2014/06/22 12:06]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): though she interjects here and there
[2014/06/22 12:07]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): I find it very erotic knowing her hands are "not" on the keyboard should I say
[2014/06/22 12:07]  Carley Noonan: nice Adonna, but about sensual domination
[2014/06/22 12:07]  Carley Noonan: what do you want from your Mistress in that area
[2014/06/22 12:07]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Or equally, what do you -enjoy- from your Mistress in that area?
[2014/06/22 12:08]  Carley Noonan: Shar, what do you enjoy
[2014/06/22 12:08]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): stimulating me first in emoting
[2014/06/22 12:08]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): after I fiinsh and a short breather
[2014/06/22 12:08]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): I take over
[2014/06/22 12:09]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): I can orgasm a second time in the knowledge my emoting is pleasuring her
[2014/06/22 12:09]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): then I slap at the keyboard
[2014/06/22 12:09]  Carley Noonan: hehe
[2014/06/22 12:09]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): and sometimes slip out of my chair lol
[2014/06/22 12:09]  Ash (Ash Yheng) chuckles and nods
[2014/06/22 12:09]  Lucksana: lol
[2014/06/22 12:10]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): smiles
[2014/06/22 12:10]  Carley Noonan: Oh one other thing
[2014/06/22 12:10]  Z (Zoltan Footman) nods understanding
[2014/06/22 12:10]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): I am a fortunate girl :)
[2014/06/22 12:10]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): I guess what I am saying is that emoting is very important for me
[2014/06/22 12:10]  Carley Noonan: I think controlling wardrobe helps to keep that connection during the day
[2014/06/22 12:10]  Carley Noonan: for exampley, daisy no longer wears panties
[2014/06/22 12:10]  Ash (Ash Yheng): One thing I didn't mention is how SD/s can be lovely as a part of aftercare. Just those gentle touches and caresses can help a sub to very slowly come back to reality.
[2014/06/22 12:10]  Carley Noonan: and it reminds her of me all day long
[2014/06/22 12:10]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): but it does not need to be constant
[2014/06/22 12:11]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): or something simple like wearing something green, or wear pantyhose, etc..
[2014/06/22 12:11]  Carley Noonan: right
[2014/06/22 12:11]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Even just focusing the sub on act of breathing after intense play can be truly sensual if you direct them to experience it.
[2014/06/22 12:12]  Ash (Ash Yheng): The same applies after sex ... in those vulnerable moments afterwards there's so much potential for a truly beautiful experience.
[2014/06/22 12:12]  Carley Noonan: One way to do that is to put your hand on their tummy (or theirs) and make them focus on lifting it when they breathe
[2014/06/22 12:13]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Exactly. *nods*
[2014/06/22 12:13]  Carley Noonan: I think tummies are an overlooked spot
[2014/06/22 12:13]  Ash (Ash Yheng): And for those of us that wear corsets from time to time in RL, *grins* it doesn't necessarily have to be a hand.
[2014/06/22 12:14]  Ash (Ash Yheng) grins at Carley. "The navel in particular can be highly excitable."
[2014/06/22 12:14]  Carley Noonan nods
[2014/06/22 12:14]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): have made my Mistress blush !
[2014/06/22 12:14]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): :)
[2014/06/22 12:14]  Ash (Ash Yheng) laughs
[2014/06/22 12:14]  Carley Noonan: and the space between the navel and the hood
[2014/06/22 12:15]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): it is only honesty
[2014/06/22 12:15]  Ash (Ash Yheng): mmhmm
[2014/06/22 12:15]  Z (Zoltan Footman) smiles
[2014/06/22 12:15]  Ash (Ash Yheng): One of the most erotic things I saw in my first year in SL ...
[2014/06/22 12:15]  Carley Noonan: Oh Ash may I say something about tummies
[2014/06/22 12:15]  Ash (Ash Yheng): /me pauses and nods. "Sure!"
[2014/06/22 12:15]  Carley Noonan: I know many of us are nervous about our tummies
[2014/06/22 12:16]  Svetlana Sikorsky: lol not me
[2014/06/22 12:16]  Carley Noonan: and I think that a Mistress showing love for and acceptance of her girl's tummy is really empowering
[2014/06/22 12:16]  Ash (Ash Yheng) smiles and nods
[2014/06/22 12:16]  Carley Noonan: Svet, I've found that even girls who are perfect still think their tummies are not
[2014/06/22 12:16]  Z (Zoltan Footman) nods, listening
[2014/06/22 12:16]  Ash (Ash Yheng): And that can apply to any other part of the body we can be shy about.
[2014/06/22 12:18]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): I can relate. I could have a flat stomach and still think it wasnt there yet. I was very much into bodybuilding and fitness and eating correctly.
[2014/06/22 12:18]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): and I like chocolate and wear my small paunch proudly :)
[2014/06/22 12:18]  Ash (Ash Yheng) nods
[2014/06/22 12:19]  Ash (Ash Yheng): So, back to the erotic thing from my first year. It was actually San and our dearly departed sel. San decided that sel had a smudge on her, so emoted that she took out a hanky, spat on it, and then wiped the smudge off. In that one moment, she plunged sel into a substate, and actually set the tone for the whole room. She reinforced aspects of their relationship in a very intense way, with just such a simple gesture.
[2014/06/22 12:19]  Molly Domenici smiles
[2014/06/22 12:19]  Ash (Ash Yheng): It certainly made me watch San very closely from then on, and I learned a lot.
[2014/06/22 12:19]  Molly Domenici: I like that story
[2014/06/22 12:19]  Carla (Cyberspy Resident): Nice
[2014/06/22 12:19]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): :)
[2014/06/22 12:20]  Ash (Ash Yheng): These often tiny touches can be extremely powerful.
[2014/06/22 12:20]  Carley Noonan: and small corrections
[2014/06/22 12:20]  Ash (Ash Yheng): mmhmm
[2014/06/22 12:20]  Carley Noonan: adjusting an outfit
[2014/06/22 12:20]  Carley Noonan: or hair
[2014/06/22 12:20]  Carley Noonan: showing the girl that you are in charge
[2014/06/22 12:20]  Carley Noonan: and taking care of her
[2014/06/22 12:21]  Ash (Ash Yheng): I think that story illustrates a lot about D/s. A simple, easy-to-relate to sensual action with detailed emotes. A powerful association based on a defined relationship trait. Control over the emotional state of the sub.
[2014/06/22 12:21]  Adonna Star (Adonnaberti Resident): it works on me
[2014/06/22 12:21]  Ash (Ash Yheng): And for those that knew sel ... it almost shut her up for a while. *grins*
[2014/06/22 12:21]  Ash (Ash Yheng): Which just shows how powerful the impact was.
[2014/06/22 12:21]  Z (Zoltan Footman) nods "me to"
[2014/06/22 12:22]  Ash (Ash Yheng) smiles
[2014/06/22 12:22]  Ash (Ash Yheng): I think I've heard the sound of my own voice enough for now.
[2014/06/22 12:23]  Carley Noonan: nicely done Ash
[2014/06/22 12:23]  Molly Domenici: I enjoyed the discussion, Ash. Thank you.
[2014/06/22 12:23]  Ash (Ash Yheng) smiles warmly at all of the positive comments.

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