Sunday, September 20, 2015

The D/s Family- Discussion 9/19/15

[2015/09/19 11:55]  Fawn Starflare: ¸„.-·~¹°”ˆ˜¨ I'll bet you'd love to be dominated, wouldn't you? ¨˜ˆ”°¹~·-.„¸
[2015/09/19 12:05]  Fawn Starflare: Everyone, I am almost ready to start
[2015/09/19 12:05]  Fawn Starflare: I have just been having RL and SL nerve problems.
[2015/09/19 12:05]  Fawn Starflare: I think I am calmed down.
[2015/09/19 12:06]  Fawn Starflare: As usual my toys have absorb the brunt of my upset, enabling me to move forward.
[2015/09/19 12:07]  Fawn Starflare: I hate being like that, but we have achieve a level of coherence as a family, that everyone knows their roles and pulls their weight.

[2015/09/19 12:10]  Fawn Starflare: It is nice to see you here this morning.
[2015/09/19 12:10]  Fawn Starflare: Or rather this noon.
[2015/09/19 12:10]  gwen (sapphicfancy) smiles
[2015/09/19 12:10]  Lillelise: ;-)
[2015/09/19 12:11]  Fawn Starflare: playtoy, make sure you keep the whole transcript of our time here. Between you and me we should have a full transcript in the event of some problem
[2015/09/19 12:11]  Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): yes Goddess
[2015/09/19 12:12]  Fawn Starflare: Tessa has been reminding me for weeks that women are constantly asking when I will resume, so I finally said I will. I think my mind and body are up to the commitment, though I have to say, 15 minutes ago I was not sure.
[2015/09/19 12:13]  Fawn Starflare: In real life, in Overeaters Anonymous I learned the 12-step verion of St. Assisi's serenity prayer...
[2015/09/19 12:13]  Fawn Starflare: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
[2015/09/19 12:13]  Fawn Starflare: the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
[2015/09/19 12:14]  Fawn Starflare: It's been helping me stay centered.
[2015/09/19 12:15]  Fawn Starflare: My family has grown that I now have three primary girls and other girls who play with us from time to time. ada, minxotix, and others.
[2015/09/19 12:15]  Fawn Starflare: Most have seen me with slutdoll (dragony)
[2015/09/19 12:16]  Fawn Starflare: slutdoll is in red.
[2015/09/19 12:17]  Fawn Starflare: In black is sextoy, whose outfit when I met her in this room inspired the dress of the remainder of my toys,
[2015/09/19 12:17]  Fawn Starflare: And In chocolate is my most recent addition, playtoy.
[2015/09/19 12:22]  Fawn Starflare: Now in my family, my girls are completely objectified. They love it, I get off on the control. and Sextoy has begged to always be an IT, never an I.
[2015/09/19 12:23]  Dangling Sextoy nods eagerly
[2015/09/19 12:23]  Fawn Starflare: Every family will evolve in it's own way. to meet the needs of the the Mistress and the submissives.
[2015/09/19 12:25]  Fawn Starflare: We find that sextoy is the opposite of a feminist. She desires to be nothing more than three holes and two tits to be used by her goddess and whomever her Goddess permits. And as an object, a sex toy object, it has no feelings that needed to be considered while it is being used,
[2015/09/19 12:25]  A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury) smiles
[2015/09/19 12:26]  Fawn Starflare: So it is living in SL a common fantasy.  Having become something with the form of a human woman but with only the purpose of doing chores and serving as a toy of sexual amusement,
[2015/09/19 12:26]  Fawn Starflare: sextoy, sleep well and enjoy your family. It is dismissed.
[2015/09/19 12:27]  Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): Sleep well, sweet dreams sis :)
[2015/09/19 12:27]  Dangling Sextoy moans happily and slips off to sleep
[2015/09/19 12:27]  Fawn Starflare: Hi wendi and all those I did not previously greet.
[2015/09/19 12:27]  Fawn Starflare: I see many girls here I have yet to meet.
[2015/09/19 12:29]  Ellen Cordeaux: ㋡
[2015/09/19 12:30]  Fawn Starflare: I have a couple of paragraphs from a letter I wrote to my girls this past week. It expresses a style and balance that has finally given me what I desire... A stable family with multiple slaves and occasional visiting members, who are all fiercely loyal first to me, and secondly to each other.
[2015/09/19 12:30]  Fawn Starflare: It's taken me decades to learn how to do this.
[2015/09/19 12:30]  Fawn Starflare: So this sort of expresses the how of it.
[2015/09/19 12:31]  Fawn Starflare: ==================
[2015/09/19 12:31]  Fawn Starflare: It is always good to use a toy for the purpose for which it was designed and built. I have crafted my toys to behave like promiscuous sluts, leaky cunts, and as devices to be harshly fucked. It is always nice when I find the raw materials mostly in this state, it minimizes the time to craft and train the toy. This is important as each is unique and has different "care and feeding" requirements.
[2015/09/19 12:31]  Fawn Starflare: I am very careful when I talk about my toys and the raw materials from which they are crafted. Theirs is not a political state of being. The raw material does not deserve this treatment, nor is it useless for anything else. It is not lower than me, dumber than me, less capable. Being a sextoy, having all the rest trimmed away, except the purpose and use it most desires. This is the task of the owner/trainer/toy maker.
[2015/09/19 12:32]  Fawn Starflare: A sextoy is three holes and two breasts on what otherwise appears to be a human female, but has no feelings or limits to consider.
[2015/09/19 12:32]  Fawn Starflare: ==================
[2015/09/19 12:32]  Fawn Starflare: A bit to read. I will give you a little time while I write out one other thing
[2015/09/19 12:34]  Fawn Starflare: It has always been my belief that in a D/s relationship the business and effort required to create a stable, loving, intimate human relationship is 100% necessary
[2015/09/19 12:34]  Fawn Starflare: My family members and I have independently come to the conclusion that the base human relationship is what we most desire.
[2015/09/19 12:35]  Fawn Starflare: However, we also know that we desperately desire the D/s structure, and allow this D/s role to be the organizing principle of out family.
[2015/09/19 12:35]  Fawn Starflare: our family
[2015/09/19 12:35]  Fawn Starflare: =======================
[2015/09/19 12:36]  Fawn Starflare: So that's what we strive for. So the trick is being able to have a solid relationship with other women. I love to take care of them and fulfill their fantasies, and the feeling and actions are reciprocated.
[2015/09/19 12:37]  Fawn Starflare: So now, let's open the floor for questions and answers, YOUR IDEAS and needs, question about how we make certain things work, etc.
[2015/09/19 12:37]  Fawn Starflare: We want to share what we have learned together.
[2015/09/19 12:38]  Fawn Starflare: waits quietly
[2015/09/19 12:40]  Fawn Starflare: No questions?
[2015/09/19 12:40]  Fawn Starflare: Is it the consensus you just want to listen?
[2015/09/19 12:40]  gwen (sapphicfancy) smiles and listens
[2015/09/19 12:41]  Ellen Cordeaux is just hangin out.  *winks
[2015/09/19 12:41]  Cyndy (dayzeemai): Fawn I found this most interesting because I think I share your precepts but have a different perspective on the D/S relationship. For me I don't want a toy,  but a sub who adores me and needs to have my attention to fulfill herself.  I think you said earlier that families evolve to meet the needs of the participants, and I conclude that those needs can be quite different
[2015/09/19 12:41]  Wendy Maruti: How would you handle the desire for a strict D/s relationship with also being a shoulder to lean on regarding SL/RL issues?
[2015/09/19 12:42]  Fawn Starflare: This is a daily issue for us, Wendy.
[2015/09/19 12:43]  Fawn Starflare: For example at 61 I have health issue and emotional issues (I am also bipolar) that effects the family. They give me real support, encouragement, nuzzling to calm me and help me go on.
[2015/09/19 12:43]  Fawn Starflare: In the same way we come together to try to support, occasional aid, any hurting family member.
[2015/09/19 12:45]  Fawn Starflare: What I have found is that the love I share with each girl individually, is then shared between the girls themselves.
[2015/09/19 12:45]  Fawn Starflare: I have seen jealousies in families and been jealous when I was a slave in a large family.
[2015/09/19 12:45]  Fawn Starflare: However I see a D/s relationship as a collaboration.
[2015/09/19 12:46]  Fawn Starflare: In my mind to be a responsible Mistress (I have come to prefer Goddess)....
[2015/09/19 12:47]  Fawn Starflare: It is part of my job to know each of my girls extremely well. Externally it might seem I treat the girls identically, but in they have different emotional and spiritual needs. They have different motivations for liking what they like.
[2015/09/19 12:47]  Fawn Starflare: Their job is to be transparent, to show me everything.
[2015/09/19 12:48]  Fawn Starflare: My job is to learn to take their desires, knead them together with my needs, and come up with a line of actions that suits my needs first, but does it in a way that my girls need, individually and severally, are satisfied.
[2015/09/19 12:49]  Fawn Starflare: In this I think it's just like dating or any other family.
[2015/09/19 12:49]  Fawn Starflare: When momma and poppa can allow the children to follow their needs and dreams and find ways to support that, the family works much better,
[2015/09/19 12:50]  Fawn Starflare: I wish I could explain how I do this mixing.  It is mostly done at an unconscious, intuitive level.
[2015/09/19 12:50]  Fawn Starflare: Several things are needed.
[2015/09/19 12:51]  Fawn Starflare: I need to constantly remind the girls that I own them.
[2015/09/19 12:51]  Fawn Starflare: I have to name and call them in ways that do this.  I need to remind them that my needs come first.
[2015/09/19 12:51]  Fawn Starflare: But the reality, for me, they come first.
[2015/09/19 12:52]  Fawn Starflare: I care for each very deeply, and go out of my way to see each is taken care of.
[2015/09/19 12:53]  Fawn Starflare: People ask me, "What did that girl do to deserve that treatment." and My response is "That is a reward, it is what she needs and desires to be happy."
[2015/09/19 12:54]  Fawn Starflare: Something that helps us that I learned by watching other Dommes is that ritual is important.
[2015/09/19 12:55]  Fawn Starflare: When my girls meet me for the first time after an absence it is always "Hello Goddess" and maybe a "Welcome back."
[2015/09/19 12:55]  Fawn Starflare: Then there is the kissing of the feet.
[2015/09/19 12:55]  Fawn Starflare: And then Each of them writes her own pledge to me and recites it.
[2015/09/19 12:55]  Fawn Starflare: slutdoll and playtoy, please share you pledges with the group.
[2015/09/19 12:56]  Fawn Starflare: Excuse me as I make sure they are awake
[2015/09/19 12:56]  Fawn Starflare: ]¦•¦[ Prepare to suffer! ]¦•¦[
[2015/09/19 12:56]  Fawn Starflare: ¸„.-·~¹°”ˆ˜¨ I'll bet you'd love to be dominated, wouldn't you? ¨˜ˆ”°¹~·-.„¸
[2015/09/19 12:56]  Fawn Starflare: ·´)› Here's your punishment  ‹(`·
[2015/09/19 12:56]  A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury):  i belong to you, my Goddess, and exist to obey your every whim! ♥
[2015/09/19 12:56]  Fawn Starflare: and playtoy?
[2015/09/19 12:56]  A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury): also i emit murr like this
[2015/09/19 12:57]  A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury): *mauRuu*
[2015/09/19 12:57]  Fawn Starflare smiles
[2015/09/19 12:57]  A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury): and kiss Goddess' boots =^,,^=
[2015/09/19 12:57]  Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): yes Goddess, here is its pledge "Greetings Goddess, your playtoy belongs to you, it exists to fulfill any of your whims.  Your will is its breath, your pleasure its heavens"
[2015/09/19 12:57]  Fawn Starflare pets her head and scratches her ears.
[2015/09/19 12:57]  Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit) purrs very happily
[2015/09/19 12:57]  Fawn Starflare pets playtoy's head.
[2015/09/19 12:57]  Fawn Starflare: This ritual is important.
[2015/09/19 12:58]  Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit) beams inside of its hood
[2015/09/19 12:58]  Fawn Starflare: It instantly establishes that this is not everyday, go to work behavior.
[2015/09/19 12:58]  Fawn Starflare: It creates, begins a period of time where D/s defines every action.
[2015/09/19 12:58]  A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury) purrs loudly
[2015/09/19 12:58]  A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury): puRrrRrRrrrrRrr
[2015/09/19 12:59]  Fawn Starflare: They get to feel like they are slaves, toys, sluts, leaky cunts, or whatever.
[2015/09/19 12:59]  Fawn Starflare: They obey me and do not question, yet a burning issue in RL is allowed to take precedence.
[2015/09/19 13:00]  Fawn Starflare: We do not scene immediately, but sit around and chatter what is happening for each.
[2015/09/19 13:00]  Fawn Starflare: The girls may tease and chatter with each other, but their eyes are on me.
[2015/09/19 13:01]  Fawn Starflare: And that Ritual, is what puts them in the right frame of mind, and as a Domme I am in the right frame of mind.
[2015/09/19 13:01]  Fawn Starflare: I love the level of submission, the amount of control I am given in each of those pledges.
[2015/09/19 13:03]  Fawn Starflare: Devising ritual is a pain. I worked out mine based on watching Eli and her first owner, Saja. Eli's pledge was quite beautiful, but it took a while to understand what made a good pledge and what didn't.
[2015/09/19 13:03]  Fawn Starflare: And over the years I have come to learn that slutdoll's pledge
[2015/09/19 13:03]  Fawn Starflare: [12:56] A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury): i belong to you, my Goddess, and exist to obey your every whim! ♥
[2015/09/19 13:04]  Fawn Starflare: Says more than I realized at first.
[2015/09/19 13:04]  A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury) smiles
[2015/09/19 13:04]  A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury): i did put quite a thought into it =^,,^=
[2015/09/19 13:04]  Fawn Starflare: When she says she exists for me, it is a powerful statement of love and devotion.
[2015/09/19 13:04]  A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury) nodnods
[2015/09/19 13:05]  Fawn Starflare: You, did, slut. You know how much that pleases me.
[2015/09/19 13:06]  Fawn Starflare: We also have a leave taking ritual.
[2015/09/19 13:06]  A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury) nods
[2015/09/19 13:07]  Fawn Starflare: Many, not all, subs are comforted by the physical presence of a strong leash tethering them to each other or their Mistress.
[2015/09/19 13:07]  Fawn Starflare: My toys all understand the command "heal":
[2015/09/19 13:08]  Fawn Starflare: I can literally weld them to myself with a word.
[2015/09/19 13:08]  Fawn Starflare: However, the leash is like a child's security blanket.
[2015/09/19 13:09]  Fawn Starflare: It is a symbol as well as a tool.
[2015/09/19 13:09]  Fawn Starflare: It proclaims their loyalty and commitment.
[2015/09/19 13:10]  Fawn Starflare: This is just one of an infinity of tiny things we Mistresses do to provide reminders to our girls and ourselves.
[2015/09/19 13:12]  Fawn Starflare: And when they take leave, they have become used to being heavily gagged and then having a full hood tightly sealing them in. They are blind, deaf, and dumb.
[2015/09/19 13:12]  Fawn Starflare: And this is my preference, something I loved in RL.
[2015/09/19 13:13]  Fawn Starflare: And most SL residents hate blindness.
[2015/09/19 13:13]  Fawn Starflare: Unlike RL, blindness here blocks awareness of everything,
[2015/09/19 13:13]  Fawn Starflare: So we have to have ways to mitigate this.
[2015/09/19 13:14]  Fawn Starflare: In my role play I become highly descriptive of what they smell and bump into, how the impact feels.
[2015/09/19 13:15]  Fawn Starflare: I describe the sounds around them, the smells, the temperature, etc.
[2015/09/19 13:15]  Fawn Starflare: This takes away much of the fear of blindness.
[2015/09/19 13:16]  Fawn Starflare: The three of my toys have all come to love what we call, "the Dark Silence"
[2015/09/19 13:16]  Fawn Starflare: Indeed in RL dragon sleeps this way every Friday and Saturday night.
[2015/09/19 13:16]  Fawn Starflare: They are also tightly bound before they go.
[2015/09/19 13:17]  A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury) smiles
[2015/09/19 13:17]  Fawn Starflare: The bindings and the hood and gag are surrogates for me, their Goddess surrounding, touching, and protecting themselves
[2015/09/19 13:18]  Fawn Starflare: When they return to SL, they have this experience they have to figure out
[2015/09/19 13:19]  Fawn Starflare: that they are in the Dark Silence, possibly alone, They are unable to move or see or talk.
[2015/09/19 13:20]  Fawn Starflare: And they know I am holding them, comforting them, and they find they can wait for me.
[2015/09/19 13:20]  Fawn Starflare: I force no one into that situation.
[2015/09/19 13:20]  Fawn Starflare: Each found their own love of it in their desire to please me.
[2015/09/19 13:21]  Fawn Starflare: So leaving and entering SL are a consequence of this ritual.
[2015/09/19 13:22]  Fawn Starflare: You know I should point out that I learn from my girls and they from me. We shape each other.
[2015/09/19 13:23]  Fawn Starflare: I no longer have hesitance about simply hitting, slapping, groping, any of them without warning.
[2015/09/19 13:24]  Fawn Starflare: They have made it very, very clear that they are happiest when I simply follow my impulses and do what I want to them, when I want, without any warning.
[2015/09/19 13:25]  Fawn Starflare: And I glory in the power of it. They glory in the unpredictability and helplessness of it.
[2015/09/19 13:25]  Fawn Starflare: But this happens because we spend more time talking and holding each other than doing BDSM stuff.
[2015/09/19 13:26]  Fawn Starflare: Every family finds its own balance.
[2015/09/19 13:26]  Fawn Starflare: With dragon, she has been by my side almost every day now for over 3.5 years!
[2015/09/19 13:26]  Fawn Starflare: It amazes me.
[2015/09/19 13:28]  Fawn Starflare: I often wonder if I am a proper Mistress. I want to make them happy, I love creating and amplifying orgasms, cuddling and holding and teasing them.
[2015/09/19 13:28]  A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury)e smiles
[2015/09/19 13:29]  Fawn Starflare: and so much else that is just plain vanilla relationship stuff, except that I always remember to throw in a word or an action to remind them of the family structure, who's in charge, who is not.
[2015/09/19 13:29]  Fawn Starflare: So it is the collaboration I spoke of.
[2015/09/19 13:30]  Fawn Starflare: My goal is to help each of my girls become the slave she wants to be, and at the same time grow her self esteem, self confidence, and ability to choose for themselves.
[2015/09/19 13:31]  Fawn Starflare: You know how you help a person can be very strange in our world
[2015/09/19 13:32]  Wendy Maruti: I think there's no such thing as a "Proper mistress" and always correct people if they doubt themselves as one. You are an individual mistress with your own kinks, fantasies, and relationships and that makes you individual. Trying to assert yourself into a "Proper mistress" by someone else's standards or one you saw on TV/online generally doesn't go well from what I've seen over the years.
[2015/09/19 13:33]  Fawn Starflare: Amen to that.
[2015/09/19 13:33]  Fawn Starflare: And that is what my girls say to me.
[2015/09/19 13:33]  Fawn Starflare: What I realized is that we are all playing roles.
[2015/09/19 13:33]  Fawn Starflare: In RL or in SL.
[2015/09/19 13:33]  Fawn Starflare: If I admire another Domme, what is it I admire. It's not whether she truly is a sadist, which would scare the latex off me.
[2015/09/19 13:34]  Fawn Starflare: But can she play a sadist.
[2015/09/19 13:34]  Fawn Starflare: Can I make my girls terrified of what I might do while not actually doing much at all.
[2015/09/19 13:35]  Fawn Starflare: so when we compare to each other we have to remember we are trying to compare to a fantasy.
[2015/09/19 13:35]  Fawn Starflare: We tend to forget it's mostly RP except for the business of who gets to say, "shut up and behave."
[2015/09/19 13:37]  Fawn Starflare: So that's what I am really sharing, relationship skills and how I create the paradox of my girls feeling in great danger while at the same time knowing they are completely safe,
[2015/09/19 13:37]  Fawn Starflare: The Paradox of Consensual BDSM.
[2015/09/19 13:37]  Fawn Starflare: And I have been talking for 90 minutes.
[2015/09/19 13:38]  Fawn Starflare: I think that's enough for one day, but my girls and I are happy to answer questions.
[2015/09/19 13:39]  Fawn Starflare: And I will add, that we will be here Saturday at noon provided my health permits and my girls are helping to ensure my health will permit!
[2015/09/19 13:40]  Fawn Starflare: You know Carla's slave elisandra is the source of my family using these pledges,
[2015/09/19 13:40]  Fawn Starflare: I was jealous of her beautiful pledge to Saja years ago. And Now Carla receives that pledge.
[2015/09/19 13:41]  Carla Putnam (cyberspy): smiles
[2015/09/19 13:41]  Fawn Starflare: It's good to see eli on a leash and also destiny.
[2015/09/19 13:41]  Cidri Katz: It is odd how heartwarming it can be to see a girl contentedly leashed
[2015/09/19 13:41]  Destiny (devils666destiny): kitty loves being on the leash
[2015/09/19 13:41]  Cyndy (dayzeemai): Thank you Fawn I found that most enlightening and would add that I am most impressed by your stamina in managing  such a large family. Do you think a large family works better than a small one?
[2015/09/19 13:42]  Fawn Starflare: I ran into minxotix the other day, and put her on leash and locked her up so she could have the pleasure of not having a choice about it.
[2015/09/19 13:42]  Fawn Starflare: Cyndy, I do not know. I am very careful in adding new girls.
[2015/09/19 13:43]  Fawn Starflare: I prize loyalty and predictability. I want a girl who is intelligent has self esteem, and can be online at the times she says.
[2015/09/19 13:43]  Cyndy (dayzeemai): And do you find some girls fail to make the grade?
[2015/09/19 13:43]  Fawn Starflare: I found that with dragon and my need to collect girls vanished.
[2015/09/19 13:43]  Carla Putnam (cyberspy): I've had large families and now a small one. I think I rather prefer the small
[2015/09/19 13:44]  Fawn Starflare: I could have stopped there, and for most that is ideal, one top, one bottom.
[2015/09/19 13:44]  Fawn Starflare: I add girls under the following conditions,
[2015/09/19 13:44]  Fawn Starflare: The new girls must be accepted by all the current girls.
[2015/09/19 13:44]  Fawn Starflare: The current girls have to feel the new one will not drain me.
[2015/09/19 13:45]  Fawn Starflare: Will not require too much of my limited resources.
[2015/09/19 13:45]  Fawn Starflare: I have to agree with them.
[2015/09/19 13:45]  Fawn Starflare: If that happens we slowly bring the new woman in and see what happens.
[2015/09/19 13:45]  Fawn Starflare: But with three girls that are with me all the time, I am close to my limit.
[2015/09/19 13:46]  Wolf Vella: odd i've never wanted more than one
[2015/09/19 13:46]  Fawn Starflare: so a large family can work, but it is very hard.
[2015/09/19 13:46]  Cidri Katz: We're all different there
[2015/09/19 13:46]  Fawn Starflare: I think the moslems are right on setting max wives at four.
[2015/09/19 13:46]  Fawn Starflare: They have similar rules built in.
[2015/09/19 13:46]  Carla Putnam (cyberspy): I did the large family for 1 1/2 years very effectively, but was getting chronic fatigue over it
[2015/09/19 13:46]  Fawn Starflare: Few can handle more than one and occasional visitors.
[2015/09/19 13:47]  Fawn Starflare: The same, carla.
[2015/09/19 13:47]  Wolf Vella: actually one lets me focus on her, and my home is not big enough for more than 2
[2015/09/19 13:47]  Fawn Starflare: Now all my girls feel they are getting enough individual quality time, and I do not feel drained.
[2015/09/19 13:47]  Carla Putnam (cyberspy): and it hurts to let them go. At least one of them is with a good friend now and we are friends as well
[2015/09/19 13:47]  Cyndy (dayzeemai): I'm not sure girls appreciate how demanding it is for the Mistress
[2015/09/19 13:48]  Fawn Starflare: Most don't
[2015/09/19 13:48]  Wolf Vella: most girls don't think they want us to think for them
[2015/09/19 13:48]  Fawn Starflare: In RL it is different, because each girl has her real service chores to fulfill as well as the kinky sex stuff.
[2015/09/19 13:49]  Fawn Starflare: Dragon, it's almost midnight Friday night for you.
[2015/09/19 13:49]  Wolf Vella: i have  a cat irl so she's the boss
[2015/09/19 13:50]  Fawn Starflare: I want you spread eagle through the night with a tight rope waist-belt, and many passes over your cunt.
[2015/09/19 13:50]  Fawn Starflare: In the morning I am likely to tease for some time before letting you cum.
[2015/09/19 13:50]  Fawn Starflare: Understand, slutdoll?
[2015/09/19 13:51]  Fawn Starflare: ((This is a necessary Friday night ritual))
[2015/09/19 13:51]  Wendy Maruti: Most submissives come in to SL with no clue and some still have no clue how demanding it can be for a domme.
[2015/09/19 13:51]  Fawn Starflare: They expect us to be on creating a new story 20 times a day.
[2015/09/19 13:51]  Fawn Starflare: And many are like RL lovers who lay there and never moan or give you feedback.
[2015/09/19 13:52]  Fawn Starflare: I train them to RP as I want them to.
[2015/09/19 13:52]  Fawn Starflare: Training a sub is in large part training her to be comfortable with her feelings
[2015/09/19 13:53]  Fawn Starflare: comfortable enough to be able to name and describe them. And give them to her owner.
[2015/09/19 13:53]  Fawn Starflare: Training a girl to do this is not easy. The best Dommes manage it somehow.
[2015/09/19 13:56]  Fawn Starflare: Miana is now owned by Saja, a very good domme to try to emulate. I served her for a while for that purpose.
[2015/09/19 13:56]  Fawn Starflare: Cyndy, have we answered your question?
[2015/09/19 14:04]  Cyndy (dayzeemai): Yes thank you Fawn
[2015/09/19 14:01]  Wendy Maruti: Quick question Fawn. How would you approach it if you were attracted to someone as a domme but they had personality differences to your preferences. Like a bratty submissive or one that did not like hoods. How does a domme work around it?
[2015/09/19 14:01]  Fawn Starflare: Ouch. That's tough.
[2015/09/19 14:01]  Fawn Starflare: I and my girls deal with this from time to time.
[2015/09/19 14:02]  Fawn Starflare: I am happy to have a girl with other desires.
[2015/09/19 14:02]  Wendy Maruti: Oh and I can toss that to every other domme in the room as well. Interested to hear opinions on that
[2015/09/19 14:02]  Fawn Starflare: But the domme and her girls have to have a clear sense of what they need.
[2015/09/19 14:03]  Fawn Starflare: Ultimately if I have the control I need to be aroused and kept interested. I'm good. But she must fit with the existing girls.
[2015/09/19 14:04]  Fawn Starflare: Sometimes I will play with someone like that on the side, but cautiously and with the idea it's not going to be permanent
[2015/09/19 14:04]  A-Toy slutdoll (dragony.darkfury) nuzzles to Goddess' boot before poofing off
[2015/09/19 14:05]  Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): Sweet dreams sis, sleep tight :)
[2015/09/19 14:05]  Carla Putnam (cyberspy): same here. Temp play perhaps but long term they have to be very close to what I like, That is why I always do a Collar of Consideration in the beginning for a while.
[2015/09/19 14:05]  Fawn Starflare: a.k.a. Trial collar or trial period.
[2015/09/19 14:06]  Fawn Starflare: In the last two months since taking in playtoy I have gotten very upfront about protecting my family.
[2015/09/19 14:06]  Fawn Starflare: I am easily seduced by the conquest of a new woman. But my family is sacrosanct.
[2015/09/19 14:07]  Cidri Katz nods to that
[2015/09/19 14:07]  Fawn Starflare: There must be a unanimous vote to bring in a new family member
[2015/09/19 14:08]  Fawn Starflare: I have to go very soon ladies and girls.
[2015/09/19 14:08]  Fawn Starflare: I am starting to doze off as I type. a sign this aging lady needs to rest.
[2015/09/19 14:08]  Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): I think there's a bit of give and take involved. If you tried to make every girl conform to a rigid idea of "what a sub should be", even if you managed it, all you'd end up doing is surrounding yourself with girls all striving to be as similar to each other as possible. The differences between submissives can be celebrated. But that only goes so far. If someone has traits that turn you off, and those traits are a core part of who they are, even if you manage to get them to change, it will always be a tension as they desire to return to what is more 'normal' for them.
[2015/09/19 14:10]  Fawn Starflare: Teann, I try to emphasize how different every girl is. I want each to be unique (the one one of its kind).
[2015/09/19 14:10]  Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter): /me nods and smiles
[2015/09/19 14:10]  Fawn Starflare: What I find is that while outwardly they conform, I am dealing with different psychologies. So how I talk to and motivate each of my toys is quite different.
[2015/09/19 14:10]  Fawn Starflare: They have different needs and different motivations.
[2015/09/19 14:11]  Fawn Starflare: And I have learned to respond to this in a deep intuitive (non-conscious) level.
[2015/09/19 14:11]  Cidri Katz: So when you say things like "subs are like this", you only mean that this is a trend, and that you need to get to know each one to know that individual?
[2015/09/19 14:11]  Fawn Starflare: I thank you all for continuing to ask me to resume these chats. I hope we can do this every week.
[2015/09/19 14:11]  Cidri Katz smiles
[2015/09/19 14:12]  Cidri Katz: Its nice to get a feeling for the community here
[2015/09/19 14:12]  Fawn Starflare: /me stand and bows to the women and girls presence.
[2015/09/19 14:12]  Cyndy (dayzeemai): Really enjoyed the discussion Fawn and looking forward to the next one
[2015/09/19 14:12]  Fawn Starflare: Again I thank you all for being a supportive audience
[2015/09/19 14:12]  Cyndy (dayzeemai)  applauds
[2015/09/19 14:13]  Teann Daorsa (kinkedwriter) claps politely and smiles
[2015/09/19 14:13]  Cidri Katz applauds, but quietly
[2015/09/19 14:13]  Fawn Starflare waves and blows a kiss to each before leaving
[2015/09/19 14:13]  gwen (sapphicfancy): I'll be here next week Miss Fawn
[2015/09/19 14:14]  Astrid Lednev courteously applauds as well.
[2015/09/19 14:14]  Ekaterina Urstein (arsanerit): It wishes all the best for everybody :)

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